9Lives Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I just dont know what to do. I saw something on facebook that let me know that I really need to get on with my life. I just wish I could. I still have so much love in my heart for him. Our relationship ended very bad and emailed me about a week ago just to get his stuff and thats all. It has been since March. I really thnk I need counselling to let this man go. I dont even do anything and I think it is ruining my life. I have no energy, I want to cry all the time. How to let go someone you love with all your heart? How do you do it?
skydiveaddict Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 (edited) I feel just like you. Hang in there and try to meet new people. You will find "the one" I promise you that . And btw way, if you go skydiving you will meet many available men. Give it a shot when you're feeling better. I'm sure you will be ok. Good luck to ya Edited June 3, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Author 9Lives Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 I want to email him so bad to tell him how I feel. I think it would make me feel so better. People say it is a bad idea. But I need to get some things off my chest.
northstar1 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 most of us have had the urge to contact our ex's, pour out our hearts with the thought it will make us feel better. But the reality is, we also do that as a way to get them thinking, and perhaps they will change their minds. please be honest about why you want to do it. because i can nearly guarantee that shortly after you send it you will not feel better. Most ex's once they've walked away, don't want to be reminded of the past or have their ex's send them a long, emotional email. And when your ex either doesn't reply, or replies with indifference, you will feel like hell. I've done it, and trust me, I wish I hadn't. I sent my prior ex a long flowing email, telling her how I felt, about all the great times we shared, and the result? A week later she sent a very neutral reply and I was left badly hurt.
Author 9Lives Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 I think I just wanted him to know that I still love him and think about him. maybe deep down inside i hope it will touch him and make him want to talk to me but I probably need to just leave it alone. He has a new chic and I hate her cause I am jealous. I could just scream. I want him back so bad. I hope they break up. I miss him so bad. I can be honest on here. I want him back. But it probably is not going to happen. I am trying to accept it but I cant
northstar1 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I get what you are saying, and trust me I have also thought about sending my ex a note with everything I've been thinking. But it won't brign them back. You can't force someone to come back, and sending a note is a way to manipulate them into wanting you again. You need to accept it's over and he is with someone new. I know it sucks, but you can't hanging on right now. If your ex wants to come back at some point, it needs to be of his own doing, not because you send him a letter. He knows you love him. My ex knows I love her and yet she chose to move on with her life. I need to accept it and move on with mine.
Author 9Lives Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 I get what you are saying, and trust me I have also thought about sending my ex a note with everything I've been thinking. But it won't brign them back. You can't force someone to come back, and sending a note is a way to manipulate them into wanting you again. You need to accept it's over and he is with someone new. I know it sucks, but you can't hanging on right now. If your ex wants to come back at some point, it needs to be of his own doing, not because you send him a letter. He knows you love him. My ex knows I love her and yet she chose to move on with her life. I need to accept it and move on with mine. Yeah, I guess I want to make sure he knows that I still love him. He probably dont care but I do and I dont mind letting him know. Its on my mind
whichwayisup Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 I just dont know what to do. I saw something on facebook that let me know that I really need to get on with my life. I just wish I could. I still have so much love in my heart for him. Our relationship ended very bad and emailed me about a week ago just to get his stuff and thats all. It has been since March. I really thnk I need counselling to let this man go. I dont even do anything and I think it is ruining my life. I have no energy, I want to cry all the time. How to let go someone you love with all your heart? How do you do it? ((9)) Lots of hugs.. I know you truly loved this guy..So, it's just going to take time to work through the pain, and letting go. NC is the way to go, it's the only way for those feelings to fade and lessen. Eventually, you'll see bouts of "out of sight/out of mind". Time is on your side. You take baby steps. One minute, to one hour, to one day. Try your best not to close out your friends and those who care about you. Allow yourself afew hours to cry, then MAKE yourself go somewhere. whether it be shopping, or a brisk walk around the block - Taking a hot shower with loud music on, anything to distract you. Sorry you're hurting.. I wish I could make that pain go away for you.
whichwayisup Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 I think I just wanted him to know that I still love him and think about him. maybe deep down inside i hope it will touch him and make him want to talk to me but I probably need to just leave it alone. He has a new chic and I hate her cause I am jealous. I could just scream. I want him back so bad. I hope they break up. I miss him so bad. I can be honest on here. I want him back. But it probably is not going to happen. I am trying to accept it but I cant Just don't contact him. Whatever you do! Post when you feel like breaking NC. Please, whatever you do, don't allow yourself to "hope" he'll dump her and come run to you. Don't let yourself fantasize and make it seem like he's perfect. He's a SH..T! He hurt you and didn't treat you well. Remember that stuff. Make a pro/con list. All the good things, and all the bad things. Your pain that HE caused. I bet the con list will be longer than the pro list. He's made a choice and somehow you need to begin to accept that. Allow yourself to grieve. Really grieve and let go of ANY hope that he's coming back. He isn't. He's told you this and he's moved on.. Sorry, I hope this isn't too harsh to read.. I just worry that you'll hang on, preventing you from getting past this. Also, the counselling is a good idea.
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