Ihavenoidea Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Wow sucks to be yo OpenGL I am a nice guy and a gentleman, and I have alsways been in relationships and currently dating. I dont know about you but certainly dont want these women who are lined up to be with a jerk who has a million tattoos and does drugs and drinks all the time. Ya ill pass.
jack5100nv Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 This thread just proves my opinion on how there needs to be an extensive psychological evaluation before being able to reproduce. Yup psychological evaluation of women who choose the wrong men, get hurt, and blame the rest of us. They subconciously do not date the nice guy. Watch the movie: My Best Friend's Girl
Pyro Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Jesse James is scum but I bet he will have no problem getting women even with recent events. yup. Plenty of gold diggers out there in the world. You think the majority of women he gets will be because of his personality? Yup psychological evaluation of women who choose the wrong men, get hurt, and blame the rest of us. They subconciously do not date the nice guy. Watch the movie: My Best Friend's Girl it goes both ways. Women like you mentioned and the bitter cry baby men.
Peitho Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 This thread just proves my opinion on how there needs to be an extensive psychological evaluation before being able to reproduce. No need – women obviously have a mechanism built in for instant evaluation or a sensor for this type of issues… his main problem is that he can’t get women, isn’t it? Scary thought … what if he ever has a daughter?
seekandfind Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Great article which basically proves what I'm saying to a certain extent though it is not as harsh (and not as accurate) as my OP: http://www.allstardatingtips.com/difficulties.html Which is basically part of what I said from the OP. Completely garbage advice and bad parenting in regards to dating. I'm starting to really hate my mom for filling me with this garbage that is going to take me many years to get out of my head. I really screwed up by having respect for women ingrained in my subconsciousness. I'm sorry, but that article does not say that the best way to get women is by being an ******* or jerk. It says you shouldn't use dating ideas from 40 years ago... You can be good-hearted guy with CONFIDENCE and CHARISMA and many, many girls will go for this. It really isn't that complicated.
MrNate Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 OpenGL, I won't tell you what you need to do, or don't need to do, as many posters have covered that. What I do want to say, however is to entertain the thought of a different way of thinking. Basically, be willing to look at things a different way. It may be true that your parents didn't give you good advice, but don't put the blame on them. What will you honestly gain from that? I say look at it like this. I think there are certain natural energies and flows in this world, and when you fight them, then things become difficult. In this case, I take it one of your greatest concerns concerns with getting females. So lets look at it another way. It's natural for a guy to be more aggressive when pursuing a relationship, so he's the one who will face rejection, set up dates, etc. It may not seem fair that you have to do all this, but why get upset over it? I think your energy would be better spent embracing this natural flow between men and women, and start embracing a more active role in pursuing women. Nature has it set up this way to put you, a man, in charge of the women you want in your life. Entertain the idea that men are aggressors and women are more passive. They both play their part in nature. So if we look at things this way, then we have to understand that most women desire a partner. They each have their own tastes, so you will more than likely face rejection. Again this is another flow of nature in place to keep this world diverse. It's a waste of energy to fight this flow, try to embrace it. Instead, entertain the idea that most women like to be treated well, and they also want to be with an amazing guy. Instead of staying set in your thought process, maybe consider bettering yourself, but do it for yourself, and women second. If this happens, I honestly think you will see things start to change. The flow of nature is beautiful and great. Instead of resisting and fighting, why not go with the flow? So be willing to drop the bitterness, anger for women who go for jerks, and be willing to embrace a new way of thinking. It all starts with you.
kdark Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Damn... my mom was never my source of dating knowledge. I frankly can't fathom that idea either. Weird. Just stop being so weak. You'll never amount to anything as long as everyone else is to blame for the Hell you apparently live. I used to go to my mom. I didn't have good friends in high school and my dad knows less about women than I do. But then I realized mom gives crap advice, and doesn't know anything about what I want in a woman. As bitter as his post was, I have to agree with OpenGL. You may not go directly to your parents for advice, but when you are a kid, you look to that relationship your parents as a model for how you expect a "normal" (in your eyes) relationship to function. My parents got divorced when I was twelve. In those twelve years, my father wouldn't come with the family on family vacation, just to get away from my mother, and I never saw them kiss, hug, or even acknowledge each other for those twelve years. I remember being stunned when I first saw my dad passionately kiss my step mom when I was 14. Growing up in such a cold environment, it's easy to understand why I would have problems relating to women. And not just women, but people in general. But once you realize what your problem is, then it is up to you to change. You can only blame your parents for what's wrong with you for so long, and then sooner or later it becomes all your own fault.
Trimmer Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 (edited) I said I disagreed with that part but if I had a son I would much rather he be a player than be some faithful husband that is betrayed and treated like garbage. Because you see those extremes as the only possibilities, and you are unable to see the spectrum that spans the range between them. She is different. I said before that I think she has a male brain because her mentality and thought process is so different from most women. Because you have assumptions about "most women" that don't fit her, but your assumptions about "most women" are sacrosanct, so you figure that she must be different. I'm sorry, but something needs to be said here, and I don't intend this to come off as mean as it's going to sound, but Woggle, your wife is not unique in the world. She's not the only one like herself. She's not one-in-a-billion. Not to take away from how wonderful she really, truly is - and I believe that she is - but your insistence on seeing her as "the only one like her" is just a continuing part of your delusions. No, not all women are like her, yes some women are horrible, but you are carrying around so much damage, and you wear it as such a proud part of your identity, that you are simply not in a position to speak authoritatively and accurately on what "most women" are like. I guess I just have a more realistic view of things. I am not knocking you but I can't unsee what I have seen. There's that badge again - your credential that gets you out of needing to change, being willing to change. Even being able to imagine changing. That doesn't make you "more realistic", it makes you more like a machine. I am sorry if I insulted you sweetjasmine because that was not my intention but men and women do have vastly different experiences in love. We truly cannot relate to each other. Yes women get cheated on but do men tell you that you deserved it because now it is payback time. That is what i was told when I was cheated on. ... and therefore that's everyone's experience? Ah yes, then, your mom and your ex-wife become "most women," or more accurately put, you have it that most women are like your mom and your ex-wife. Well Wogs, let me officially state that I would like to be removed from your class-action suit against the female gender. I got cheated on, and that wasn't my experience and I have enough ability to see human beings as different individuals to see that my ex, while a cheater, is not the mommy-trained, man-hating, harpie that you accuse the female gender of being (with the one, and only one, exception of your wife, of course...) So I know I'm only one, insignificant individual, in a post you probably won't even respond to (but I fantasize that you will read, nonetheless) but you don't have permission to strap me around your neck as an example of one of "all those" aggrieved men, and likewise, you may not throw my ex - as little as I care about her now - into the pit along with all of those all-the-same hostile shrews. After what I have experienced and witnessed there is no going back. Actually, you have no problem at all going back - you do it constantly; it's the only place you know - you're stuck in an endless loop of mom and ex-wife. Your problem is more that until you do something about the substantial damage you are carrying, there is no going forward. After reading posts on this forum, I've come to the conclusion that there are a lot of damaged individuals out there who insist on seeing everything as men versus women and who are incapable of looking at people as PEOPLE and not objects or walking stereotypes or members of group X or Y. The difference between you and me is that I see it as "people with this type of problem/issue/hang-up have a tendency to do this" whereas you always, ALWAYS see it as "everyone of gender X always do this". Reading LS threads has reinforced my belief that well-adjusted people tend to attract well-adjusted people while people with issues tend to attract people with issues. All very well stated. Edited June 5, 2010 by Trimmer
Trimmer Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Jesse James is scum but I bet he will have no problem getting women even with recent events. "They have a name for women like Bombshell McGee.... they're called 'Bombshell McGees'." - Tina Fey As bitter as his post was, I have to agree with OpenGL. You may not go directly to your parents for advice, but when you are a kid, you look to that relationship your parents as a model for how you expect a "normal" (in your eyes) relationship to function. My parents got divorced when I was twelve. In those twelve years, my father wouldn't come with the family on family vacation, just to get away from my mother, and I never saw them kiss, hug, or even acknowledge each other for those twelve years. I remember being stunned when I first saw my dad passionately kiss my step mom when I was 14. Growing up in such a cold environment, it's easy to understand why I would have problems relating to women. And not just women, but people in general. Well, then it seems that you're not agreeing with the OP, at all then. His whole premise is that modeling a "normal" relationship is BAD BAD BAD for a child, and that it would be better to model being a jerk, and that would equip a child to be happier in his adult life. So your parents did a decent job of modeling a dysfunctional relationship, with your dad being cold toward your mother and all... Are you saying that this has worked out well for you? Because that's the premise of the original post that you seem to be agreeing with... Are you saying that if they had modeled a "normal" loving relationship that your life would be even worse, because that's the conclusion I draw from the OP's statements...
Pyro Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Because you see those extremes as the only possibilities, and you are unable to see the spectrum that spans the range between them. Because you have assumptions about "most women" that don't fit her, but your assumptions about "most women" are sacrosanct, so you figure that she must be different. I'm sorry, but something needs to be said here, and I don't intend this to come off as mean as it's going to sound, but Woggle, your wife is not unique in the world. She's not the only one like herself. She's not one-in-a-billion. Not to take away from how wonderful she really, truly is - and I believe that she is - but your insistence on seeing her as "the only one like her" is just a continuing part of your delusions. No, not all women are like her, yes some women are horrible, but you are carrying around so much damage, and you wear it as such a proud part of your identity, that you are simply not in a position to speak authoritatively and accurately on what "most women" are like. There's that badge again - your credential that gets you out of needing to change, being willing to change. Even being able to imagine changing. That doesn't make you "more realistic", it makes you more like a machine. ... and therefore that's everyone's experience? Ah yes, then, your mom and your ex-wife become "most women," or more accurately put, you have it that most women are like your mom and your ex-wife. Well Wogs, let me officially state that I would like to be removed from your class-action suit against the female gender. I got cheated on, and that wasn't my experience and I have enough ability to see human beings as different individuals to see that my ex, while a cheater, is not the mommy-trained, man-hating, harpie that you accuse the female gender of being (with the one, and only one, exception of your wife, of course...) So I know I'm only one, insignificant individual, in a post you probably won't even respond to (but I fantasize that you will read, nonetheless) but you don't have permission to strap me around your neck as an example of one of "all those" aggrieved men, and likewise, you may not throw my ex - as little as I care about her now - into the pit along with all of those all-the-same hostile shrews. Actually, you have no problem at all going back - you do it constantly; it's the only place you know - you're stuck in an endless loop of mom and ex-wife. Your problem is more that until you do something about the substantial damage you are carrying, there is no going forward. All very well stated. very well stated. Woggle you claim that all you see are women betraying their SO/getting bored of them. Could that be due to the amount of time you spend here on LS and assuming you still go to the other message board. Its BS for you to say that a majority of couples you see in the real world are that way as well. Just your attempt to justify your views. Be honest with us for a change.
Woggle Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Yeah and? look at the types of women he's interested in. All these types of threads crack me up, just because we are attracted to somebody doesn't obligate them to be attracted to us in return. None of us are owed sex, love, companionship. The OP's basic MO here is "Sexor me .. or else I'll behave like a total social misfit" Bombshell is trashy and she doesn't seem to bright but I bet she is a demon in the sack. I bet she is willing to try anything.
Woggle Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 very well stated. Woggle you claim that all you see are women betraying their SO/getting bored of them. Could that be due to the amount of time you spend here on LS and assuming you still go to the other message board. Its BS for you to say that a majority of couples you see in the real world are that way as well. Just your attempt to justify your views. Be honest with us for a change. I guess there is some merit to this. If you work in a rehab clinic it will start to seem like everybody does drugs and a board like this does tend to attract a lot of damaged people but when I read certain posts it is hard not to look at women in a negative light.
Pyro Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 I guess there is some merit to this. If you work in a rehab clinic it will start to seem like everybody does drugs and a board like this does tend to attract a lot of damaged people but when I read certain posts it is hard not to look at women in a negative light. so stop looking. You admitted that they are hazardous to you but yet you continue to read them. Its the same thing as the women out there who say they don't like drama but only date as$holes.
Green Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Our parents (especially our mothers) and the media pretty much lie to men from birth about how to be respectable human being to the opposite sex. You could have limited this statement to your parents (especially your mother). I personaly didn't get help from my parents when it came to finding a date and I'm doing just fine Be a gentlemen to women and treat them with respect. Be honest and truthful. Take school seriously, don't hang out with the "wrong" crowd or get into drugs. Get a higher education and get a stable and high income 9-5, a house, and a white picket fence. If you think that the way to salvation is doing all these things outlined whats stopping you? Taking school seriously and staying away from drugs seems like good advice. I believe you should treat all things with respect... especialy yourself! This is pretty much what our mothers and the media tells us we need to do to be a desirable male to the opposite sex. Hmmm but if you figured out what you need to do then what is stoping you. But guess, what? It's a crock of sht. I know it and you know it. I know LIFE ISN'T FAIR. My parents told me this and I learned it for myself. Doesn't mean you should throw a pitty party. If I *EVER* have a son (big if, I couldn't imagine a woman letting me impregnate her), I'm going to raise him to be the most disrespectful, nasty human being ever known to man. He is going to be huge misogynist, physically and emotionally abusive to women, drugs very early on, sports a priority over school. A general bad ass with a "I don't get a fck" attitude. Why? Let me guess, so you can live through your son. Well if you think this is the way to live life the best way you can teach it to your son if you ever have on is by LIVING THAT LIFE YOURSELF. I don't think you really believe the stuff you are writing here or what would the point of it be really? I'm going to make sure he NEVER goes though the crap I went though. I'm making sure he is raised right in today society (sadly). Stop worying about your imaginary son for the love of mike. Cmon man pull it togather. SNAP OUT OF IT After living this life for so long I can with experience say it's worse living as a decent human being without companionship than to live a life as complete bad ass, deadbeat father of 8 kids, covered with tattoos and constant smell of jack denials on my breath with a endless line of women lined up. Hmmm I'm a "Nice guy" and I have a great gf and I've had no problem getting dates other then the usual rejecton by women I push on and it has worked out for me. I'm kinda a nerd. I love comics and video games. I have taken higher education to its limits. I don't really drink (never drunk). Never done any drugs.
Woggle Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Another reason that I come across so raw and blunt is that this is a board mainly dedicated to relationship problems. Most of the problems men face on here call for a man to be blunt and a little cold and heartless if they want to keep their dignity. The issues faced do not call for gentlemenly behavior. When I see a thread dedicated to happy relationships or marriages my tone changes but those are the exception on this board. In most threads the men are dealing with women who play dirty so I encourage to do likewise. I post on other boards and I don't speak about this issue.
Pyro Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Another reason that I come across so raw and blunt is that this is a board mainly dedicated to relationship problems. Most of the problems men face on here call for a man to be blunt and a little cold and heartless if they want to keep their dignity. The issues faced do not call for gentlemenly behavior. When I see a thread dedicated to happy relationships or marriages my tone changes but those are the exception on this board. In most threads the men are dealing with women who play dirty so I encourage to do likewise. I post on other boards and I don't speak about this issue. then you must not do alot of reading on here. There are multiple happy threads here on a daily basis, but you only post on the threads that involve this subject matter. I have never seen you comment on a thread where it was the guy who betrayed the girl. You encourage guys to do likewise? You are only making things worse. You are attempting to turn people angry and bitter just like yourself. That is not helping people at all.
Woggle Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 then you must not do alot of reading on here. There are multiple happy threads here on a daily basis, but you only post on the threads that involve this subject matter. I have never seen you comment on a thread where it was the guy who betrayed the girl. You encourage guys to do likewise? You are only making things worse. You are attempting to turn people angry and bitter just like yourself. That is not helping people at all. Have you ever noticed how those happy relationship threads tend to the same few women on there every time. I appreciate them but they represent a very small group.
EricaH329 Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Yup psychological evaluation of women who choose the wrong men, get hurt, and blame the rest of us. They subconciously do not date the nice guy. Watch the movie: My Best Friend's Girl Yes, because movies are 100% accurate. 'Nice guy' huh? Just like i've said in another thread, you are either a 'whiner' or a 'nice guy'. You can't be both. Pick one please
Ann_Igma Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Another reason that I come across so raw and blunt is that this is a board mainly dedicated to relationship problems. Most of the problems men face on here call for a man to be blunt and a little cold and heartless if they want to keep their dignity. The issues faced do not call for gentlemenly behavior. When I see a thread dedicated to happy relationships or marriages my tone changes but those are the exception on this board. In most threads the men are dealing with women who play dirty so I encourage to do likewise. I post on other boards and I don't speak about this issue. There are just as many, if not more, threads where the women are dealing with men who play dirty. It is *NOT* indicative of all men OR all women. Not all men act like jerks. Not all women act like jerks. There are 'good' and 'bad' people in each gender group - and I'm willing to bet the ratio is fairly equal for both. Not to mention that these are advice boards, so the majority of the posts are going to be people who are having problems and seeking help - LS is a great tool for what it is, but it is NOT an accurate representation of people and relationships as a whole. Most of us who come here are damaged in some way or other, and trying to work through our problems. Woggle, you've had a rough time in life, and I will not argue that at all. But you don't have to allow it to shape you into a bitter and cynical man who assumes the worst in most people. In addition to all those bad people that you see in these threads/at your work, there are also plenty of good men and women out there in the world, and I hope that one day you are able to see them too.
Ann_Igma Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 OpenGL - As to your original post, I'm not buying it. You might be following at least 2 bits of the advice that your parents gave you (taking school seriously and not hanging out with the wrong crowd) - I can't verify either way. But the other two? No way. I don't think you are being honest and truthful with yourself. Most of the people on the dating forums who have even a modicum of success in dating keep telling you the same things, and yet you seem to keep convincing yourself WITHOUT EVEN TRYING that they are wrong. Also, you claim that you are a gentleman, yet I have never really read any posts of yours which make you sound like a gentleman at ALL. You come across as someone who views women as an *entirely* different, and largely dismissable, species. Calling women 'chicks', saying that 95% of women are flakes, painting all women as shallow gold-diggers, etc... I have never seen you, I don't actually know what you look like. For all I know, you could look just like Johnny Depp but I find your posts and attitude so offensive that you are a total turnoff to me based on nothing more than your forum posts! I am not saying the above to be mean, by the way. I am saying this because I truly hope that one day you are able to realise how few favors your attitude is doing you, and improve your outlook (and by proxy, situation) accordingly.
Blade Runner Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 (edited) OpenGL, you just keep getting worse and worse. Look, I don't doubt that if you're not a tall, attractive strapping man can be harder to get girls. Of course. But then again, there are women in similar positions too. I get it. You're tired of walking into a bar and seeing 6' douche bags with no style just walk up to girls and go home with them. I'm sure you're sick and tired of seeing complete jerks treat women like tools and yet the women keep on lining up to them. These men realized at about age 13 or 14 they were better looking than the other guys in their classes, taller, these men are the ones that girls would call up and giggle about in the early years of High School. It becomes pretty clear early on who has instant success with women and who doesn't. If you look like Brad Pitt, you could be the shyest guy in the world and get girls. Having said all that, none of this means that you can't. I have seen overweight dudes, who are not tall, who do not have what most would consider to be "attractive" facial features, who are not rich - with good looking women. These guys are probably fun to be around. They've probably learnt how to make the most of what they DO have. We get it. You're not 6' tall. Okay, big deal, you can't do anything about that. So you're not Brad Pitt. No problem. What you can offer is everything else. You have to make the most of what you HAVE got, and right now you've obviously shoved it all away. I know it's a frustrating situation to be in, because on one hand everybody is saying "Dude, stay positive, show off your personality, I can't see it because you're so negative" etc etc". But on the other hand,you've actually BEEN the nice guy for all those years and none of it has worked out for you. But you have to hang in there. All of this time you spend depressed about it is time that you're losing. It's a bitch, but you have to stay positive and love yourself 100% of the time or you will not have any luck. So I don't doubt that you were once that nice guy. But what about now? If you're not the tallest or best looking dude in a room, you make up for it with clothes, attitude. I've seen really guys with totally beautiful girlfriends because they're the kind of guy that everybody wants to be around. They dress better than everybody else, they smile better than everybody else, they're funnier than everybody else. Hell, that's why comedians aren't all Brad Pitts. Most of the best are short, average looking dudes at best. There's a reason for that. Take some time out and start again I say. You've become too negative to even bother trying now. You need to restart. If you have no interest in trying again, then I see no point in any of these negative posts. You'll just keep digging yourself into a deeper hole. You can get out of it. I don't know man. It's a tough situation to be in, it really is. You're fed up. But you're not hopeless. What are some active things you could do to improve your situation? How hard are you really trying? Have you asked out 50 girls in the last month? What's your wardrobe like? Who do you associate with? Are you fun to be around outside of this forum? Do you make people smile? are you funny? What have you got that gives you the right to anything? You have to work on something! Edited June 5, 2010 by Blade Runner
Pyro Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Have you ever noticed how those happy relationship threads tend to the same few women on there every time. I appreciate them but they represent a very small group. and have you noticed that its the same group of people on here who bytch and complain about the opposite sex? Its a smaller group because the majority of people that come on here are looking for advice. For every individual that has passed through here just think of how many have not. My point is that this place does not represent the majority of society, nor does it even come close, so save your breath about how it does. I advise you to read Trimmers first post on this thread.
Eve Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Being hurt is one thing but wanting to hurt back and also wanting to teach another (.. especially a child) how to hate.. thats just beyond counter productive. Nah, thats ****ed up... Take care, Eve xx
CLC2008 Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Have you ever noticed how those happy relationship threads tend to the same few women on there every time. I appreciate them but they represent a very small group. Do you notice the abundance of women posters who openly discuss their involvement with married MEN in the (forum I stay away from because it would most likely drive me into a verbal attack) Other Man/Woman forum? That's right. Married men cheating on their wives... Blah.
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