What's wrong with the "1 to 10" scale?

[OceanTropic]

There is no standard 1-10 scale, its all individual.

 

Same goes for pass/fail. Its all personal taste. One's pass is another's fail, just like one's 10 is another's 1.

 

I don't really care though, everyone uses different means of evaluating people. Personally, my friends and I judge men on "friend, ****able or eww"

[daphne]

Theres nothing wrong with it, just ignore the women speak.

 

The difference is many guys are perfectly find with dating a 2/10 or 3/10.

 

For women 18-30, it's unthinkable to even talk to a man unless he is a 8/10+, or "HOT". Who cares if hes abusive, a druggie, lives with his parents, no job, as long as hes "HOT" and I can show him off to my friends, its worth!! ( )

 

Not true. That's for women 35+.

[ADF]

There are so many things wrong with the 1 to 10 scale it is hard to know where to start.

 

For one thing, it sounds like a way of grading livestock, not a way of describing fellow human beings.

 

Second, men who use it often don't rate the woman as a whole. Instead, they break her down into seperate body parts--again, something you'd do when evaluating a pig or a cow. Guys will say things like, "well, her face is a 9, but her body is only a 6." It's just creepy.

 

Third, it evaluates a woman's body to the total exclusion of anything esle about her. Hips, breasts and thighs count; a sense of humor, charm, and intelligence are ignored.

 

Fourth, the scale itself doesn't make much sense, especially at the middle ranges. We all know someone described as a 9 or a 10 is gorgeous, while someone rated a 1 or a 2 is homely. But what is the difference between a 4 and a 6, exactly? Or between a 5 and a 7?

[Morals]

It's not that there is a scale, but that the way the scale is read and skewed by the opposite sexes.

 

I'll show a few links that despite their origins, make you think.

 

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/422933/410505.jpg

 

Just so you know, Null Set=Does not exist. While that doesn't pertain specifically to physical attractiveness I find it interesting none the less.

 

Despite that, I think that men view women physically more leniantly then vice versa. Men will look at a variety of women and can find some physical part of them that they like. Whatever it is...They tend to date a variety of women to a certain degree.

 

However, women feel that men without a 6 pack, or isn't tall aren't good enough for them. I mean, of all my time on this earth, I honestly don't think I've had any of my buddies say "I like this girl, but I'm not going to even think of having a relationship or even sex with her because she's not tall enough". But I KNOW that within the last month, just ON these forums, I've seen no less then a dozen women claim they won't date a guy below 5'9.

 

Women's guidelines of men are stricter, but from what I've seen they don't like to admit it is.

 

By the way this is not mysognistic statement, this is just my observation. Just because you may not like the statement does not mean it's not unfounded or based off of any sort of hatred...

[SarahRose]

There are so many things wrong with the 1 to 10 scale it is hard to know where to start.

 

For one thing, it sounds like a way of grading livestock, not a way of describing fellow human beings.

 

Second, men who use it often don't rate the woman as a whole. Instead, they break her down into seperate body parts--again, something you'd do when evaluating a pig or a cow. Guys will say things like, "well, her face is a 9, but her body is only a 6." It's just creepy.

 

Third, it evaluates a woman's body to the total exclusion of anything esle about her. Hips, breasts and thighs count; a sense of humor, charm, and intelligence are ignored.

 

Fourth, the scale itself doesn't make much sense, especially at the middle ranges. We all know someone described as a 9 or a 10 is gorgeous, while someone rated a 1 or a 2 is homely. But what is the difference between a 4 and a 6, exactly? Or between a 5 and a 7?

 

That is why I don't like it. It just reduces human beings to interchangeable body parts.

 

I think people can post attractive photos of celebrities on here all day long but the real challenge would be to post photos of a true "10" that wasn't photoshopped, no makeup, and who didn't have cosmetic surgery.

 

I doubt you can do it because a 10 isn't natural. It is something that is artificially crafted.

[ADF]

That is why I don't like it. It just reduces human beings to interchangeable body parts.

 

I think people can post attractive photos of celebrities on here all day long but the real challenge would be to post photos of a true "10" that wasn't photoshopped, no makeup, and who didn't have cosmetic surgery.

 

I doubt you can do it because a 10 isn't natural. It is something that is artificially crafted.

 

That's actually a very good point. Many people have noted that Marilyn Monroe, held up as the ideal of female beauty in the 1950s, probably couldn't get signed with a modeling agency today. She'd be considered "too fat."

 

In Monroe's day, the ideal was something only maybe 5% of the population could achieve. The rest of us just couldn't get that "beautiful," no matter how hard we tried. It just wasn't in most people's genetic deck of cards.

 

But nowadays, the ideal is something that doesn't exist in nature at all. Women are supposed to be impossibly thin, yet somehow maintain curvy hips and large, full, high breasts. Sorry, but that doesn't happen without surgury. Plus, women aren't supposed to have any pubic hair. Again, that doesn't happen in nature. The new ideal is some kind of Barbie Doll.

[somedude81]

It's not that there is a scale, but that the way the scale is read and skewed by the opposite sexes.

 

I'll show a few links that despite their origins, make you think.

 

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/422933/410505.jpg

 

Just so you know, Null Set=Does not exist. While that doesn't pertain specifically to physical attractiveness I find it interesting none the less.

 

Despite that, I think that men view women physically more leniantly then vice versa. Men will look at a variety of women and can find some physical part of them that they like. Whatever it is...They tend to date a variety of women to a certain degree.

 

However, women feel that men without a 6 pack, or isn't tall aren't good enough for them. I mean, of all my time on this earth, I honestly don't think I've had any of my buddies say "I like this girl, but I'm not going to even think of having a relationship or even sex with her because she's not tall enough". But I KNOW that within the last month, just ON these forums, I've seen no less then a dozen women claim they won't date a guy below 5'9.

 

Women's guidelines of men are stricter, but from what I've seen they don't like to admit it is.

 

By the way this is not mysognistic statement, this is just my observation. Just because you may not like the statement does not mean it's not unfounded or based off of any sort of hatred...

Great post Morals. Nothing I can really add.

[Kamille]

 

But I KNOW that within the last month, just ON these forums, I've seen no less then a dozen women claim they won't date a guy below 5'9.

 

 

If Morals or someone could post links to these posts, it would be very informative. I seem to have missed them.

 

And perhaps Morals has missed the numerous threads about men who will or won't date skinny or curvy women.

 

I'm not saying men aren't lenient. I think that every man has his preferences, just like women do.

Edited June 4, 2010 by Kamille

[Morals]

If Morals or someone could post links to these posts, it would be very informative. I seem to have missed them.

 

And perhaps Morals has missed the numerous threads about men who will or won't date skinny or curvy women.

 

I'm not saying men aren't lenient. I think that every man has his preferences, just like women do.

 

At the moment I don't have the time or the gumption to really search for those posts. I did not miss the threads about curvy women. I myself like curvy women. But at the same time I'm not going to turn down any girl between size 4--size 12. I'm just saying that a girl with a few love handles is still considered cute by most men's standards. A guy with love handles is considered "not my type" by most women's standards.

 

That's the double standard I was referring to.

[somedude81]

Men are much more likely to settle. We've all seen good looking guys with fat/ugly girls. One of my old roommates was a cool normal looking dude and his girlfriend was like 5 feet tall 200 lbs. If that isn't settling I don't know what is.

 

While most women under 35 will not settle. Period. The guy is almost always her physical equal or better. It's not until women start to get older that they get desperate and end up with guys who don't look that good. Only because the "good ones" are already taken.

 

I also have some life experience that proves that young women don't settle. I've been single forever. Even though I'm not fat or ugly, stupid, mean, a pushover or any other negative thing; girls would rather be single than even give me a chance...

Edited June 4, 2010 by somedude81

[sally4sara]

I don't know if anyone posted this or not.

 

The 1-10 scale got some heat a few years back. There was a food joint where the guys working would rate their customers within ear shot of their other patrons. Often giving freebies and discounts to the higher rated patrons and getting their male patrons in on the act. One of the patrons who heard them got pissed because they never received any freebies or discounts, and got only the barest minimum of customer service and sued over it. Some of the other female patrons (even ones who got the perks) acted as witnesses and said it was annoying and made them feel overly scrutinized when all they wanted was to grab some lunch.

 

Its just rude. If a woman is interested in you, sure she will like knowing you find her attractive. But if you're just hassling women at random - you are invalidating them as people. When someone is out and about their day, it is crass to have to have other people assessing their worth based on nothing more than what they contribute to the scenery. Women might think one guy is better looking than another, but in their daily activities, they don't treat a less attractive man like he is useless for being less attractive. Where as men will wait longer in line just to get served by a prettier woman, higher a less qualified employee just because she will be more enjoyable to took at, offer to share a cab on a rainy day to the cute able bodied woman and leave the granny or grampa with a cane to get soaked till they can find another cab.

[Disillusioned]

If you need a 1 to 10 scale to figure it out, you've got problems

[sally4sara]

Men are much more likely to settle. We've all seen good looking guys with fat/ugly girls. One of my old roommates was a cool normal looking dude and his girlfriend was like 5 feet tall 200 lbs. If that isn't settling I don't know what is.

 

While most women under 35 will not settle. Period. The guy is almost always her physical equal or better. It's not until women start to get older that they get desperate and end up with guys who don't look that good. Only because the "good ones" are already taken.

 

I also have some life experience that proves that young women don't settle. I've been single forever. Even though I'm not fat or ugly, stupid, mean, a pushover or any other negative thing; girls would rather be single than even give me a chance...

 

This is about what one considers settling.

 

When women are in their late teens early twenties, I think they do more settling because they don't know what to value yet. When they choose the hot dumbass jerk, they ARE settling - they just don't know it yet. Over the years, they start to recognize other qualities to value in men than just looks. So it only APPEARS like they are settling.

Young men settle less than they think because they will respond to most anyone willing. At some point they may find that one of the women is awesome and they lucked out, but it wasn't their initial motivation. When they get older, they start settling even more. They have more resources to flaunt and more life experience to add length to their personality, but they will use it to draw in women with more superficial appeal rather than using it to find a quality person.

[Els]

This is about what one considers settling.

 

When women are in their late teens early twenties, I think they do more settling because they don't know what to value yet. When they choose the hot dumbass jerk, they ARE settling - they just don't know it yet. Over the years, they start to recognize other qualities to value in men than just looks. So it only APPEARS like they are settling.

Young men settle less than they think because they will respond to most anyone willing. At some point they may find that one of the women is awesome and they lucked out, but it wasn't their initial motivation. When they get older, they start settling even more. They have more resources to flaunt and more life experience to add length to their personality, but they will use it to draw in women with more superficial appeal rather than using it to find a quality person.

 

Very, very, great post. I can't even begin to tell the sad stories of men and women I've known who have just snagged up a person as a 'great catch' purely based on superficialities, and then had plenty of problems/incompatibilities arising early on and getting worse as time goes on. Hardly surprising - they chose their partner for all the wrong reasons! You've gotta be REALLY lucky to choose someone based on appearances and just 'happen' to connect and be right for each other in all the other ways that matter. I haven't known many people who were that lucky.

[somedude81]

This is about what one considers settling.

 

When women are in their late teens early twenties, I think they do more settling because they don't know what to value yet. When they choose the hot dumbass jerk, they ARE settling - they just don't know it yet.

 

Over the years, they start to recognize other qualities to value in men than just looks. So it only APPEARS like they are settling.

Bullshlt! Settling unintentionally. Give me a f-ing break. They are making a conscious decision. As somebody who is trying to be with girls in their late teens early twenties, do you expect me to say, "Oh those poor girls, they don't know that they are settling with guys like that. When they are older and wiser then they will see how great a guy I am"?

 

Young men settle less than they think because they will respond to most anyone willing.

That is settling!

 

The only person I ever dated was a fat girl from my work. Filipino girl that must have been 100lbs heavier than I was. The only reason I got with her was because I had no success with girls at that point and she asked me out. I was desperate, so I settled for her. We were only together for two weeks.

 

There are lots of men out there with girls that they are too good for. Every healthy weight dude with a fat girl is settling. The vast majority of men want somebody who is attractive to them.

[Els]

There are lots of men out there with girls that they are too good for. Every healthy weight dude with a fat girl is settling. The vast majority of men want somebody who is attractive to them.

 

Even if he's a jobless bum who lives in his mum's basement and is a cheating, lying alcoholic... and she's a successful, intelligent lawyer with a cheerful and caring personality?

[somedude81]

Even if he's a jobless bum who lives in his mum's basement and is a cheating, lying alcoholic... and she's a successful, intelligent lawyer with a cheerful and caring personality?

So she's a fat lawyer but cheerful and caring and he's a jobless bum? Unless he's mooching off of her, I don't see how her career is even relevant.

[sally4sara]

Bullshlt! Settling unintentionally. Give me a f-ing break. They are making a conscious decision. As somebody who is trying to be with girls in their late teens early twenties, do you expect me to say, "Oh those poor girls, they don't know that they are settling with guys like that. When they are older and wiser then they will see how great a guy I am"?

That is settling!

 

The only person I ever dated was a fat girl from my work. Filipino girl that must have been 100lbs heavier than I was. The only reason I got with her was because I had no success with girls at that point and she asked me out. I was desperate, so I settled for her. We were only together for two weeks.

 

There are lots of men out there with girls that they are too good for. Every healthy weight dude with a fat girl is settling. The vast majority of men want somebody who is attractive to them.

 

I'm not asking you to feel sorry for anyone - where did I say that? Oh yeah, I DIDN'T; you're just being a salty ass.

 

They are settling because they don't know what else to look for other than appearance. YOU focus on appearance and knowingly and willingly will settle for some tail. That is a YOU problem; am I suppose to feel bad for you?

Its a simple matter of experience. Take fighting for instance. If no one ever showed you how to throw a punch, you might land one and hurt the person, but you also might break your hand in the process. You learn from that eventually and get better at it. In that learning period, you might also find a more mature and intelligent way of settling you disagreements and not go around punching folks even if you have become better at it.

 

It is the same with young women and dating. At first they go for looks because they don't know themselves and what they need yet. They will date some sub-human that looks good, get burnt and learn from it. They will still go for the better looking guy if they find indication of him not being like the previous sub-human hot guy. They might still get burnt but in a different way. Until one day they realize good looks don't always mean the guy is good for them. To someone who is still places a higher worth on appearance (like you as an example, just because you will pork a chubby doesn't mean you're not a superficial twat), who the woman will now choose might look lesser. It doesn't mean the woman settled, it means her priorities changed.

 

And yes, if a young guy is responding to anyone willing he is settling, but he might fall ass backwards into a good relationship simply because he is offering himself up to just about anyone. The sun even shines on a dog's behind some days.

[donnamaybe]

Every healthy weight dude with a fat girl is settling.

 

This is perhaps one of the ugliest statements I've ever read on LS.

[marsle85]

"Settling" isn't an accurate term. It implies Person A ranks on a higher caliber than Person B... but reduces their expectations/standards to be with Person B. In my opinion, the "settling" or limiting Person A's standards reflects A worse than it does Person B.

 

If Person A was so great, no amount of loneliness or desperation would ever provoke A to settle. You forget physical appearance is only a portion of a person's worth.

 

The only reason I got with her was because I had no success with girls at that point and she asked me out. I was desperate, so I settled for her. We were only together for two weeks.

 

You stooped "low," and this reflects YOU, not her. I have only dated a select few amount of people- despite many offers. Why? Because I don't mind being alone until someone worth my time emerges.

 

You had no success with girls prior, and was desperate. How exactly...were YOU settling? Just because of her physical appearance? It sounds like to me, she had to cut back her dreams of Prince Charming too... We are only as good as the people we associate with. You may look back and want to expand your dating range, but at one time- she was good enough. Sorry, but you can't justify "settling" because you were... umm..."desperate"?

[Els]

So she's a fat lawyer but cheerful and caring and he's a jobless bum? Unless he's mooching off of her, I don't see how her career is even relevant.

 

Yes, he spends all day drinking himself into oblivion while living in his mum's basement, then sleeping with girls at the local bar and she catches him but he lies to her (you conveniently neglected the cheating, lying alcoholic part, I see) ; she is ambitious and intelligent, loyal and honest, comes over to pamper him and clean him up during his hangovers. Who among them is 'settling'?

 

Career isn't relevant? You've gotta be kidding me. In that case, why not say that since her excessive weight isn't 'infectious' and therefore wouldn't 'affect' him, it isn't relevant?

[somedude81]

I'm not asking you to feel sorry for anyone - where did I say that? Oh yeah, I DIDN'T; you're just being a salty ass.

That was something I added to give a little personal flavor.

 

They are settling because they don't know what else to look for other than appearance.

 

At first they go for looks because they don't know themselves and what they need yet. They will date some sub-human that looks good, get burnt and learn from it.

That's the point I can't agree with. They willingly made that choice. Settling is when one wishes they had X but take Y instead. Those girls who ended up with bad guys didn't settle because they wished they had X and got it. Whether they learn from their mistakes or not is irrelevant.

 

This is perhaps one of the ugliest statements I've ever read on LS.

Why? Men who can honestly say they prefer a heavy girl are few and far between. What usually happens is that she may have a great personality which compensates for her less than satisfactory looks. Doesn't change the fact that he's still settling.

 

You had no success with girls prior, and was desperate. How exactly...were YOU settling? Just because of her physical appearance? It sounds like to me, she had to cut back her dreams of Prince Charming too... We are only as good as the people we associate with. You may look back and want to expand your dating range, but at one time- she was good enough. Sorry, but you can't justify "settling" because you were... umm..."desperate"?

Yeah, after reading through my post I realized that it wasn't settling. If I ended up dating her long term and given up on going after what I really wanted then that would be settling.

[Shakz]

You had no success with girls prior, and was desperate. How exactly...were YOU settling? Just because of her physical appearance? It sounds like to me, she had to cut back her dreams of Prince Charming too... We are only as good as the people we associate with. You may look back and want to expand your dating range, but at one time- she was good enough. Sorry, but you can't justify "settling" because you were... umm..."desperate"?

 

Brilliant! Lucky will be the man who "settles" for you.

[Shakz]

Thanks DZ, that's very generous of you. I was wondering who was snapping up all the 9's and 10's. Now I know.

[marsle85]

Brilliant! Lucky will be the man who "settles" for you.

 

That was nice of you to say, thank you.