AlwaysConflicted Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I wake up every morning feeling alone without my ex girlfriend. We didn't even sleep over each others places too often. I think I'm just most vulnerable in the morning. And I've been dreaming about her as well lately. Anyways, I still miss her. We both have been in NC for 14 days. I'm trying to move on. Joined a gym and found a new job. I don't have close friends where I live so I can't really hang out. Although, I've spoken to several people on the phone. I have ups and downs, but right now I'm very down so I'm posting on LS. I needed to vent these feelings. I've always thought it was so sad that 2 people can be 100 percent in love and then at some point it just disappears. You see people happily married for 4 years, 14 years, 24 years and so forth. Where does that love go? As magically as it came, it magically disappears.
ishmaiel Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 There is no easy way to NC. If there were, it wouldn't be such an issue. One frame of mind in which you can put yourself when craving and lonely and inconsolable is this: if you make it through this time, the next time will be very slightly easier. It will be easier because you will know that you can make it through it without braking NC. Proving your own strength to yourself is one of the most edifying things you can do. It's like lifting a weight. The second time you lift a 10 lb weight it's slightly easier (though you may not notice it) than the first, because your body has gained strength. Keep lifting for a month, or two, and you'll be noticeably stronger. While the rate of building strength varies, you can be certain that if you don't lift the weight, the rate will be zero.
Author AlwaysConflicted Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 (edited) She said she wanted a few weeks to figure everything out. After NC for 7 more days it will be the 3 weeks she wanted. Should I wait for her to call me? Should I call her? Or should I remain in NC? I had hoped we might be able to reconcile, but as this NC time passes it feels less likely. I think she's one of those people that feels if something is broken, then just buy a new one. Whereas, I'm a fixer. I enjoy fixing things that are broken. Also, she's easily influenced by her friends. So if they whisper "stay away" she will regardless of how she feels. Damn... suggestions? Edited June 3, 2010 by AlwaysConflicted
ishmaiel Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Also, she's easily influenced by her friends. So if they whisper "stay away" she will regardless of how she feels. Damn... suggestions? She said she wanted 3 weeks. Give her 4 and then email briefly to check in. Something like this: --- Hi, Just wondering how you're doing and where things are at. Either way, give me a ring so that we can clarify our situation and go forward from there. ---- If she wants to end it, she'll respond. If she doesn't she'll respond. If she doesn't respond, then unfortunately you have to assume (painfully) that she wants to end it and not actually go through the last act of saying so. (hug)
This Hurts Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 It always saddened me as well how people can so easily fall out of love with one another. Even if nothing directly induces it (cheating, fighting, etc.), it still can happen, and it scares the sh*t out of me when I think about any future relationships I may have. Also—although I don't know the details of your situation—I think it's great that you went NC after she asked for time. If you would've kept contacting her, it would have pushed her away. This gives her time to miss you. Good luck.
hardtocope Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I've always thought it was so sad that 2 people can be 100 percent in love and then at some point it just disappears. You see people happily married for 4 years, 14 years, 24 years and so forth. Where does that love go? As magically as it came, it magically disappears. I know man, sucks sucks sucks. "What a beautiful face I have found here in this place that is circling all around the sun What a beautiful dream, that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye and be gone from me - soft and sweet, let me hold it close and keep it here with me."
ishmaiel Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I know man, sucks sucks sucks. "What a beautiful face I have found here in this place that is circling all around the sun What a beautiful dream, that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye and be gone from me - soft and sweet, let me hold it close and keep it here with me." Damn it, I wish I had not looked up lyrics to that song. http://neutralmilkhotel.net/itaots.html I'm at work and biting back the tears. It's really quite staggering when faced with pain and loss nothing else quite matters, and the thing you lost (or are facing with losing) can matter more than it did when you had it.
Recommended Posts