Question for Women: Do You Prefer Calling or Texting...?

[USMCHokie]

I'm just curious, but do women prefer calling or texting in the early stages of dating...? I'm a firm believer that early on, men should always call to set up dates; but let's say you miss a guy's call and he leaves a voicemail asking you to call him back. Do you call or text...?

 

General "rules" of correspondence say that you reply in the same format as the original message...but do you find that you'd rather text than call a guy back...? Is there any reason for that...?

 

 

Situation: I met a girl on an online dating site...got her number and called her...left a voicemail asking her to call me back...I get a text a couple days later...no harm no foul...

 

Honestly, I don't really care either way, but I was just wondering...

[lab_brat]

i agree with you - i think if someone calls you, you should call them back. i think calling for dates, esp in the early stages, is much nicer. the less formal stuff (ie general 'hows your day', 'running late' etc ) can be done by text

[tigressA]

I hate texting, really really hate it--enough to put a text block on my phone. So if someone ever wants to reach me by phone, they are obligated to call. Ever since I first owned a cell phone I've much preferred calling over texting in any situation, but especially in dating. Texting is too casual. When I'm dating someone I want to hear his voice, not just read words on a screen.

[SadandConfusedWA]

I prefer texting until I am really comfortable with a guy. I feel really awakward on the phone at the first stages of dating and am always worried that I will run out of things to talk about. But then again, I am a worrier and an introvert.

 

Some of my outgoing girlfriends prefer texting when they are not that into a guy and calling when they are.

[Serenitynow]

I prefer texting until I am really comfortable with a guy

 

Explain how you learn to get comfortable with a guy by texting him ?

 

You cant learn anything about anyone by texting or email

 

WHY WHY WHY are women so afraid of talking on the phone anymore ?

 

WHY would you want to drag out texting only to find out you dont click with the person once you talk on the phone or meet in person.

 

Absolutely boggles my mind

[SadandConfusedWA]

No, I am ALL FOR in person time. I meant until I am comfortable with them after spending some time with them in person. I just do not like talking on the phone to guys I barely know. It's almost always awkward as I am not that chatty until I get to know someone. In person it's different as you can comment on things you see, use body language and physical chemistry as ice breakers.

 

I much prefer few flirty texts, meeting in person then take it from there. There is nothing that kills the magic faster then a phone call full of silences.

[EmeraldHeart]

I much prefer talking to texting. Texting does seem impersonal and a way to touch base w/o having to put any real effort in to things.

[veena7]

I prefer calling.

 

Regards

 

Veena

[cabarc1]

I like texting first and then after a day or two later, talking on the phone. Once we start talking on the phone though, i'd better not be getting texts unless it's to tell me something really quick.

[brainygirl]

I'm a both kind of person. When its early in a relationship I get very nervous and so I tend to text because its less nerve wraking and you can read what you've said to make sure its what you meant to say.

 

I also will text people when I am multitasking. So for example last night I was texting the guy friend about plans later than evening while chasing around my kids, cleaning house, and getting dinner made. Its clearer communication to text "When should I come by" than it is to try to have a quiet half hour to work through plans.

 

For complicated things, like maybe a misunderstanding has happened or for "feelings" talk, always call. Theres no way a text message can get anything complex across.

[Confusedalways]

Interesting question.

 

As a 22 year old I definitely *prefer* texting, but I *know* it should be calling, so I call. Recently a guy I was speaking with online gave me his number, and I was mid text before I realized he specifically told me to call him because he wanted to TALK... duh!

 

As a female I would find it outrageously off putting if I called a man and he texted me back.

 

Yes, I do think this girl should have called you, and not texted you back. It is scary to call a guy you might hit it off with, and this is coming from an extremely extroverted person who talks on the phone hundreds of times a day. I really feel that texting should be saved for later in the relationship when there's less getting to know you.

 

In your described situation I would have absolutely called him back. It's not fair that men have to be expected to call and women can get out of it with a text.

[stace79]

I'm just curious, but do women prefer calling or texting in the early stages of dating...? I'm a firm believer that early on, men should always call to set up dates; but let's say you miss a guy's call and he leaves a voicemail asking you to call him back. Do you call or text...?

 

General "rules" of correspondence say that you reply in the same format as the original message...but do you find that you'd rather text than call a guy back...? Is there any reason for that...?

 

 

Situation: I met a girl on an online dating site...got her number and called her...left a voicemail asking her to call me back...I get a text a couple days later...no harm no foul...

 

Honestly, I don't really care either way, but I was just wondering...

 

I think it depends on the woman. For me, personally, I agree that if a guy I'm interested in calls me and leaves a message, I'll call him back. Now, sometimes if I'm not that into him, I'll just text him back because it's easier! Not to say that's the case with every girl. Just me.

 

I don't mind texts like "Hope you're having a great day" or "I'm running a few minutes late, see you at 6:45."

 

But I dont like having ridiculously long conversations via text, and I would expect a guy interested in me to also call and have a real conversation sometimes.

[USMCHokie]

I'm a both kind of person. When its early in a relationship I get very nervous and so I tend to text because its less nerve wraking and you can read what you've said to make sure its what you meant to say.

 

 

And I'm sure this can be even moreso when you've never met the person or talked to them on the phone...text seems safer...? Well, I did end up calling her later that night after a few exchanged texts and we talked for a little bit and made plans for later in the week.

 

I think people might expect and either be afraid or unprepared for long drawn out phone conversations that last hours...but I'm not that kind of guy...I'd rather cut to the chase and make some plans in five minutes on the phone than drag it out over three hours via text...and I'm not a big fan of long phone conversations anyway...

[Pyro]

For complicated things, like maybe a misunderstanding has happened or for "feelings" talk, always call. Theres no way a text message can get anything complex across.

 

exactly!

 

Texting should be for a quick question or a quick comment. Any type of discussion should be phone.

[ConflictedGuy27]

 

I much prefer few flirty texts, meeting in person then take it from there. There is nothing that kills the magic faster then a phone call full of silences.

 

I'm a guy and this is what I've seen/experienced working very well. Texting is merely used as a tool to build attraction enough to get them to join you in person.

 

When used very sparingly and only for the purpose of flirting and/or making her smile, I've seen some excellent results.

 

Using texting as a substitute for face to face (i.e. conversating) will kill attraction. But a very subtly flirtatious back and forth (say 10 msgs total over 3 days or so) can build enough attraction where calling to setup is almost organic.

 

Texting can help build attraction in a big way, espicially in girls younger than 28.

[daphne]

I'm old school. I really prefer calling early on. If there are last minute details, then texting is convenient. But shouldn't be supplanted for real conversation.

 

I can't hear the sound of the guy's voice over text. I can't get his sincerity or sweetness over a text. I can misunderstand something he has said, however, over a text.

[OceanTropic]

Personally I prefer texting. I barely know the guy, I wouldn't be able to have a full out conversation, or even short tid-bits on the phone. Texting is more convenient, personally.

 

I prefer talking face to face. I hate having meaning conversations over the phone, I would rather let it unravel on the date.

[USMCHokie]

I prefer talking face to face. I hate having meaning conversations over the phone, I would rather let it unravel on the date.

 

 

Agreed. Too much talking on the phone leads to not enough talking face to face...

[xRJ85x]

Damn, this thread's got me all paranoid about both sides now!

 

I called this girl up this past Monday and arranged a first date with her this coming Sunday. I actually proposed a couple similar things for us to do, and really just set a date (Sunday) and told her I would text her to finalize things.

 

Call instead or just text?

[USMCHokie]

Damn, this thread's got me all paranoid about both sides now!

 

I called this girl up this past Monday and arranged a first date with her this coming Sunday. I actually proposed a couple similar things for us to do, and really just set a date (Sunday) and told her I would text her to finalize things.

 

Call instead or just text?

 

 

Heheh, no worries my friend. It's good that you have several contingencies in case she doesn't like one of your ideas or circumstances prevent it (usually weather...). I would say to call, even though you said that you'd text. She shouldn't mind that you're calling (if she does...red flag...because that's just weird...), and it shows a more assertive nature. I feel that calling is a more powerful and confident act than the text.

[OceanTropic]

Just text. If she wants to talk, she will call you.

 

Just see how she responds and go with the flow.

[xRJ85x]

Heheh, no worries my friend. It's good that you have several contingencies in case she doesn't like one of your ideas or circumstances prevent it (usually weather...). I would say to call, even though you said that you'd text. She shouldn't mind that you're calling (if she does...red flag...because that's just weird...), and it shows a more assertive nature. I feel that calling is a more powerful and confident act than the text.

 

haha Yea, it just kinda came out that way too. You actually got it right too, a weather problem is gonna make the decision for me. I told her "We can go ice skating, or I can give you those rollerblading lessons I promised you." Since it's supposed to rain Sunday, rollerblading won't happen.

 

A second call won't make me look indecisive though will it? Meaning that it makes the first call look like I just said "Eh lets get together sometime."

[USMCHokie]

A second call won't make me look indecisive though will it? Meaning that it makes the first call look like I just said "Eh lets get together sometime."

 

Hardly. It shows that you have better things to do with your time than text back and forth for god knows how long. You can accomplish everything you need to do in a 5 minute call versus over the course of 6 or 7 texts. I will usually make two calls in arranging a date. The first call will be early in the week scheduling a time to see her. The second call will be a day or two before letting her know what we're doing and to confirm the time and place. And then I see her at that time and place. That's it. There's no need for texts, unless they are for small matters ("Hey, I'm running a few minutes late, I'll see you in a little bit...") that don't require a lengthy response.

[xRJ85x]

Hardly. It shows that you have better things to do with your time than text back and forth for god knows how long. You can accomplish everything you need to do in a 5 minute call versus over the course of 6 or 7 texts. I will usually make two calls in arranging a date. The first call will be early in the week scheduling a time to see her. The second call will be a day or two before letting her know what we're doing and to confirm the time and place. And then I see her at that time and place. That's it. There's no need for texts, unless they are for small matters ("Hey, I'm running a few minutes late, I'll see you in a little bit...") that don't require a lengthy response.

 

Good call. Will do, thanks man.