frenchgirl Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I think I'm a touchy-feely girl... When I talk to people, I like to establish physical contact. I don't think I overdo it but that's just me... Now, what do you think of touching people's knee or grabbing someone's thigh briefly? Do you think that's too much?
Crazy Magnet Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I'm touchy feely with my boyfriend (we probably make people gag) and I'm also very huggy/touchy with my close female friends. Other than that I have a complete hands off policy.
carhill Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Women do that to me all the time, mainly married women. I don't think anything of it. Lingering looks and lingering touches, otoh, danger zone. I've officially taken to kissing married female friends on the cheek since some have sent pretty mixed signals with other forms of kissing. IMO, you'll find a wide range of perspectives. Some men enjoy physical affection and don't immediately attach anything sexual to it. I'm one of those. Others think every woman wants them sexually and the smallest indicator of that potential is a green light for their grope machine to fire up. I've watched it happen. If you don't know the person well and/or have history and rapport with them, I'd err on the side of polite decorum, meaning no overt touching.
somedude81 Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I think I'm a touchy-feely girl... When I talk to people, I like to establish physical contact. I don't think I overdo it but that's just me... Now, what do you think of touching people's knee or grabbing someone's thigh briefly? Do you think that's too much? I would think that you were interested in me. Touching somebody is a way that humans do show interest in another. So you may be sending the wrong signals if you are touchy.
make me believe Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I think touching somebody's knee or thigh is too much unless it's a close friend of yours. The leg/thigh is an intimate area imo. You should stick to touching people on the arm if you don't want to risk making them uncomfortable.
Author frenchgirl Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 I consider myself touchy-feely but yet I don't touch people's knees and thighs. I know some people do though and your feedback is very interesting.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 It depends on a lot of things but I generally dislike being touched unless one means business. I chatted up a beautiful girl I had my eye on for a while and her manner of touching me struck me as presumptuous "poking", demanding of my total attention, intrusive of my space and unwarranted for how long we even spoke etc. My attitude toward her changed from one of admiring her looks to someone I want to give me head and then get the hell lost. I wouldn't presume to do that to someone else but I'm big on hand holding and hugging and walking arm in arm if we're lovers. I like thoughtul soft prompts that show consideration that I have a rather highly developed independent intellect and I may seem like I'm not paying attention when indeed sometimes I'm paying more attention than she can know. That's giving the benefit of the doubt and it's the only way I can have a long term relationship. I have to feel that one's litlle prompts are not a neurotic demand but a simple trusting direction.
brokenblade Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I think I'm a touchy-feely girl... When I talk to people, I like to establish physical contact. I don't think I overdo it but that's just me... Now, what do you think of touching people's knee or grabbing someone's thigh briefly? Do you think that's too much? I don't normally think much about it. Touching my knee, that's different. Grabbing my thigh... I'll be back! (comes back with big smile:D)
phineas Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I would think that you were interested in me. Touching somebody is a way that humans do show interest in another. So you may be sending the wrong signals if you are touchy. Same here. Otherwise, i'm not into being casually groped by women. I call it gropping because if I touched some women they way they casually touch me i'd wind up maced. LOL!
witabix Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I am in the opposite camp, I don't like touchy feely-ness. I am one of those people that requires a fair distance between me and who I am talking to. I find it irritating when women touch my arm or hand when they speak to me. Some men do the same, I find it an invasion of my private space. I also find it disconcerting when I either don't know the woman too well, or I am with another woman. I have noticed the looks that woman I am with give to the touchy feely one, especially if they don't know each other. I like a space between me and everybody else that is my arms length. That will usually mean that a woman has to move in closer than I would normally allow, I will back off until the space is comfortable, unless I am trapped. Then I will do all I can to get the space back, if I can't I feel extremely uncomfortable. Basically I don't like people touching me unless I know them very, very well.
TaraMaiden Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 frenchgirl....I take it you are a girl, and also french.....? I think women in general are more tactile creatures (although I think my partner may be the exception that proves the rule!) and as a fellow European - Italian to be precise - I have noted that European people in general are far more tactile. I think nothing of making physical contact with people I'm talking to, even if it's a hand on the arm or shoulder. I touch people. It's part of my nature. Those who know me, know that, and are very happy with that. Those who don't, I don't leave in any doubt about my intentions. They're neither veiled or ulterior. They know there's nothing hinted or suggested.... I touch people when I talk to them. Nobody has ever expressed discomfort, either verbally or in their body language. In fact, it has often happened, that if I touch someone in conversation, they actually touch me back......
OceanTropic Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Yes. I am touchy feely too, with both men and women. But thigh or knee is too personal and too intimate. Thats bf/gf stuff, personally. I usually just touch the shoulder or the arm, its very amicable and friendly, and shows kindness. Knees and thighs give off a different vibe...
ADF Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 If by "too much" you mean that such a gesture is too familiar and likely to be misinterpreted, the yes, it is too much.
Trimmer Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 (edited) Male here, and also touchy-feely. BUT... I believe that it's not an all-or-nothing, always/never kind of thing. As with any social interaction, you need to have some sensitivity/empathy and be able to read your audience. I have friends and associates who span the spectrum. Some, like Witabix, I believe I can "read" that they are not the touchy-feely type, and so my pushing that upon them would not enhance our relationship, so I don't do it - we find other ways to connect. Other of my friends are more clearly "touchable", and so that's a more normal part of our interactions. So in the end, yes, I am touchy-feely, but more importantly, I believe it's very context-dependent, and I think I just kind of naturally adjust to the particular person. And I do think knee (and especially thigh) is pretty close.... I seem to go for the arm just up from the elbow, sometimes a hand lightly in the back (although lower back is getting a little more intimate again, like guiding a woman through a door or something like that...) Hugs, of course, and a couple of women I know take a kiss on the cheek, but again, it's a "read your audience" kind of thing... Always context-dependent. Edited June 4, 2010 by Trimmer
Author frenchgirl Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 frenchgirl....I take it you are a girl, and also french.....? Good guess! I think nothing of making physical contact with people I'm talking to, even if it's a hand on the arm or shoulder. And I agree with you. I guess I was wondering whether some people were soooo naturally touchy and feely that they'd touch knees and thighs with no further intention...
Toki Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Don't like being touched unless I know and trust the person.
TaraMaiden Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Good guess! And I agree with you. I guess I was wondering whether some people were soooo naturally touchy and feely that they'd touch knees and thighs with no further intention... I do... But it's only with people who know me better.... I used to practice Shiatsu therapy. Shiatsu is basically Acupuncture with fingers instead of needles. It's a Japanese therapy. And the Japanese are very particular about bodily contact.... Suspend, if you will, please, any scepticism or ridicule of such things.... we were taught that before placing our hands on another person's body (even if they were completely compliant, enthusiastic and aware) to be mindful of a person's protective or defensive energy. I guess we'd call this our "personal space"... Even if a person had requested a Shiatsu therapeutic massage, there was still the matter of their unconscious resistance... and very often, even if the subject expressed pleasure at the feel of the therapy, believe it or not, their protective/defensive energy actually formed a tangible barrier, preventing a true deep connection with the tsubos, or shiatsu points.... It was always a marvel to me when at one point or another, you could feel your hands actually 'break through' this barrier, and the energy of the body actually released and permitted deeper therapeutic access. I would have put this down to my imagination, but the subject often felt it too. "What just happened?" was a common question from them.....
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