Author daphne Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 It depends what the hoops are. If these hoops are keeping committments and being honest and making him wait a reasonable amount of time for sex they are good hoops which will keep the scum men away. Yes, yes and yes. Someone actually understands what I'm getting at.
Author daphne Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 The naive good girl and mean b!tch have one important thing in common...too much FEAR. One is not assertive enough because of it and the second is too assertive because of it. I'm the good girl bitch. Starting now.
Author daphne Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 If the relationship is going to be so hard for him from the beginning when it's supposed to be good, why incentive does he have to stay around for the hard times? This doesn't make sense to me. Obviously don't go out of your way to make the relationship easy for him, but don't make it unnaturally hard, either. What's wrong with just being yourself and letting the relationship progress organically, without all the games? I didn't mean for hard times. I meant to be consistent and do the things that you do when you're going through the courtship process.
Author daphne Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Perhaps jumping through hoops isn't the right phrase to use. Many people are taking it the wrong way. Lol. I'm starting to see that. And the men are seriously taking offense to it like I'm saying I'm going to force the guy to buy me a new wardrobe, pay my mortgage and cook me dinner on top.
Pyro Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Lol. I'm starting to see that. And the men are seriously taking offense to it like I'm saying I'm going to force the guy to buy me a new wardrobe, pay my mortgage and cook me dinner on top. they are only words, so I am not taking offense. Jumping through hoops does sound negative IMO.
Author daphne Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 they are only words, so I am not taking offense. Jumping through hoops does sound negative IMO. When I've nursed my pride and disillusionment and gotten back to my happy place I'll make sure I rewrite the post so it doesn't smack of real emotion.
Hop_prophet Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 they are only words, so I am not taking offense. Jumping through hoops does sound negative IMO. Yeah, especially when its followed with "jumping through flaming hoops". I don't think good guys are going to be lining up for that treatment.
Cracker Jack Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Consistency, honesty, and just be a low drama nice dude. I'm not really asking all tht much. That's it? Well, that's understandable. I thought you meant something along the lines of the guy waiting for a yr before having sex with you or something.
xRJ85x Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Consistency, honesty, and just be a low drama nice dude. I'm not really asking all tht much. Then it's not jumping through hoops for you. That's simply wanting someone genuine. But not only are you gonna push that away by playing games, but you may actually attract more of the bad guys, because in the end they'll see you as a big conquest if they get some. And if not, no big deal to them, onto the next girl. I wasn't calling you conceited, unless you admit to being one of the game-playing girls whom I was calling conceited.
tincanman99 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 If I suspect a woman is intentionally messing with me ie. games/making me jump through hoops I leave. Contrary to what the original poster thinks, leaving doesnt indicate that I wont stick around when the times are tough, it indicates being smart and having common sense. It indicates I respect myself and will not tolerate this crap. Because if you are a PIA now and we dont know each other that well what will you be like later? Worse? Much worse? A total psycho? It goes back to that saying "treat others as you wish to be treated". I dont treat like crap and dont expect to be either.
Author daphne Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 If I suspect a woman is intentionally messing with me ie. games/making me jump through hoops I leave. Contrary to what the original poster thinks, leaving doesnt indicate that I wont stick around when the times are tough, it indicates being smart and having common sense. It indicates I respect myself and will not tolerate this crap. Because if you are a PIA now and we dont know each other that well what will you be like later? Worse? Much worse? A total psycho? It goes back to that saying "treat others as you wish to be treated". I dont treat like crap and dont expect to be either. I have no idea what that acronym is, but i'm guessing it's probably misogynist. Where in my post do I mention playing games and being a psycho? You need to stop making assumptions.
Author daphne Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 That's it? Well, that's understandable. I thought you meant something along the lines of the guy waiting for a yr before having sex with you or something. I would if I could...
xRJ85x Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I have no idea what that acronym is, but i'm guessing it's probably misogynist. Where in my post do I mention playing games and being a psycho? You need to stop making assumptions. Fast forward to today, where I make men jump through hoops to get to me. I make them wait longer than is reasonable. Bolded. It's why almost everyone in this thread (at least all the guys) responded to you in the same manner that they did. Now some of the the rest of your post hints that you're just venting about being played by bad guys, but this is the internet and we don't know you personally, and therefore how you really feel. Hence, why everyone brings up playing games. Now if you simply meant "I'm not gonna be too nice and try to force things or cater to men simply because I'm desperate for a relationship," then you'd have everyone agreeing with you, because simply, that's how you SHOULD be acting.
Sith Apprentice Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Real men follow the 3 date rule. We are in too high a demand to be bothered otherwise. Last week I had a woman tell me at her doorstep "you're not getting lucky tonight." My response: "That's what you think." You should have seen the look on her face as I pulled out my cell to call one of my back up girls heh.
txsilkysmoothe Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 To me, your logic seems flawed........... If a situation doesn't seem like it offers what I'm looking for, I don't bend myself to it. I move on. So while you'll bail quickly, you expect that an equally good man will stick around while you "hold back," in the hope of earning your good treatment? And it's not clear whether this approach is working for you.......... after my last failed attempt at romance Venting. Wondering how long it'll take before i get it right.
threebyfate Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 If I didn't have more reading to do I'd go back to my post and try to figure out where people are reading that I want to be bad?? oy vayThe opposite of being good, is being bad. As well, add in that you're not going to be consistent, making guys jump through hoops and worse yet, flaming hoops. At least that's where I got my impression from. As you saw, I didn't rip you a new one, just offered my advice about being yourself. The sooner a guy gets to know the real you, the better, so the two of you can figure out if you're compatible. As another suggestion, clarity of communication is also key to the longevity and happiness of a relationship.
Pyro Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 (edited) The opposite of being good, is being bad. As well, add in that you're not going to be consistent, making guys jump through hoops and worse yet, flaming hoops. At least that's where I got my impression from. As you saw, I didn't rip you a new one, just offered my advice about being yourself. The sooner a guy gets to know the real you, the better, so the two of you can figure out if you're compatible. As another suggestion, clarity of communication is also key to the longevity and happiness of a relationship. ............................ Edited June 4, 2010 by Pyro not telling
Author daphne Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 Real men follow the 3 date rule. We are in too high a demand to be bothered otherwise. Last week I had a woman tell me at her doorstep "you're not getting lucky tonight." My response: "That's what you think." You should have seen the look on her face as I pulled out my cell to call one of my back up girls heh. This is why a guy like you would never be on my radar. Good luck with that.
Author daphne Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 As another suggestion, clarity of communication is also key to the longevity and happiness of a relationship. I tried that. I probably could improve further in that area, but I tried to be very honest in how I felt. Unfortunately, it was received somewhat poorly and with much suspicion. Plus, I met up with a brick wall in teh communication department.
Dragon1 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I tried that. I probably could improve further in that area, but I tried to be very honest in how I felt. Unfortunately, it was received somewhat poorly and with much suspicion. If it was received poorly and with suspicion, he was the wrong guy. It will work with the right guy. Your goals should be to create those flaming hoops to keep the wrong guys out, but you need to let the right guy in. You don't want to push the right guy away.
RedRussian Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 She does not seem to deserve the right guy, i say let her play her hoops game and settle for the master player who is a ringer looking for challenge.
marsle85 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Real men follow the 3 date rule. We are in too high a demand to be bothered otherwise. Last week I had a woman tell me at her doorstep "you're not getting lucky tonight." My response: "That's what you think." You should have seen the look on her face as I pulled out my cell to call one of my back up girls heh. Everything about you screams real man.
marsle85 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 GUYS, DON'T JUMP THROUGH ANY LOOPS. DON'T BE PUSSIES. Haven't we gone over this? GIRLS, DON'T LAY THEM UNTIL THEY JUMP THROUGH HOOPS. Natural cycle. We're all doomed.
TaurusTerp Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Haven't we gone over this? GIRLS, DON'T LAY THEM UNTIL THEY JUMP THROUGH HOOPS. Natural cycle. We're all doomed. Ain't that the truth. I think OP should try the opposite route - no waiting. It'll probably do her a world of good.
DanielMadr Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Haven't we gone over this? GIRLS, DON'T LAY THEM UNTIL THEY JUMP THROUGH HOOPS. Natural cycle. We're all doomed. Actually, when a guy ignores the hoop or kicks it down...he gets laid more often than not. When he jumps he is a pussy and is treated that way. When the girl really enjoys pussies jumping through her hoops on fire, well she goes for the pussy kind. They are submissive guys for these type of women. enjoy. OP stated that her hoops are nothing "bad" and she is just not willing to be doormat, so I guess we can close this debate.
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