aeren944 Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I did SO well today... I kept thinking of her, but it wasn't as painful as before. I kind of put it in its place and decided to be happy. It was easy, actually. That's kind of cool. I grabbed each moment, and said that this is what I need... this is what I want. But, now, at 6:30 PM, I'm starting to lose it again. How can I be fine one moment, telling myself that I'm fine without her, and that I'll never get back with her... then, the next moment, be crying because I'll never get back with her... and it seems like that's all I want. She tried texting me twice today. She asked me how I was doing, I didn't answer. Then she asked me if I was busy, and I didn't answer. I don't want to be her ****ing friend... and she thinks that I'll eventually come around or something. I can't go total NC because we have kids... but the kids are gone until next week, so I don't need to talk to her. Why do I seem so fine during the day, then when it gets later, I start feeling like total crap again??
northstar1 Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 It comes in waves, in my experience. Some days I'll be fine for most of it and then feel melancholy,or something will trigger a memory. I actually find mornings worse, esp if I've had a dream about my ex and wake up after. However, you'll find that there will be more good days than bad as you get used to your own time.
Toki Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Things are going to be ***t for awhile, try as you might to climb out of the emotional hole, there will be plenty of times you'll get close to the top and escape the bad feelings only to accidentally grab a loose rock and end back at the bottom. There's really no rhyme or reason for it, just your brain going through the cycle of loss. You just gotta pick yourself up each time, and try again.
This Hurts Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 This is COMPLETELY normal. Don't worry so much. It'll be okay.
Ilovecake Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Like everyone else said this is a very normal part of the process. Keep telling yourself those positive things and with time you will have less and less negative thoughts and feelings. When you work at being happy you actually change your brain to make more positive connections, so it's a good thing to do.
Author aeren944 Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Yeah... its definitely coming in waves... Today, I'm a total mess... just a bloody mess. I don't even know why I'm posting this, but its the same thing... I just can't seem to deal, or whatever. I'm trying to tell myself good things, but its hard believing them...
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