jkrisov Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I've been official with my guy for 6 months now and there still has been no "L" word, not even close might I add! No drunken slip-ups or anything. I do genuinely love him though and I'm absolutely crazy about him. My guy and I met in November and immediately started seeing each other and in December we were "official" but around March/April we hit a big rough spot. We got into a very big fight and almost broke up at one point. But!.. We made up and now we're absolutely fine. We see each other two times a week, once during the week and then I stay at his place all weekend usually. I'm on a first name basis with his parents, we even went on a beach vacation with them for a week! His parents are in love with me actually, we get along very well. They even mentioned they wanted to meet my parents and considered them as "future in-laws"! Ha! Anyway, basically I'm head-over-heels in love with him. It's been 6 months and I'm still crazy about him, maybe more than I originally was at first! I want to tell him so bad but sometimes he gives me these weird vibes where I feel like he wouldn't say he loved me back. Plus, wouldn't he have said something already? One of his close friends told me that he said loved me back in March, but then again this friend was also very drunk at the time. We use to go on a few double-dates with my girl friends and they would say that he's "obviously in love with you". I really don't want to be the one to bring it up first, even though that's how I truly feel. I know it sounds stupid but I just want him to say it first. I bet he's thinking the same thing about me at the moment, but I will hold my ground! I'm just trying to brain storm the reasons why it hasn't been brought up yet. Like I mentioned before, maybe he's pondering the same thing about me. Sometimes he'll joke with me and say something like "you don't like me as much as I like you". Maybe he really believes that and is waiting on me? May I also add he was a very wounded puppy before I came along. A lot of girls used and abused him. He was that guy who refused to get serious with a girl, yet when we started seeing each other he told his friends that he could see himself marrying me! Which... wouldn't happen anytime soon anyway, but it's still cute for him to say that. Anyway, what do you guys think? Any input is appreciated!
Serenitynow Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 How is anyone supposed to logically comment on that when we dont know either you or your man ? Everyone is different
Sivok Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 It's awesome you wrote this. Last summer my friend Brett was telling me how he loved his gf but was afraid to tell her in fear that she wouldn't say it back. His gf then told me the exact same thing about him but said she felt 'weird vibes' from him as well. She was the one who ended up saying it first and they just recently passed their anniversary. I definitely think you're ready, and imo the fact his parents made a heavy handed comment like your parents could be their in-laws shows maybe they know something you don't. Don't take a random internet guy's word for it, but from what you describe, I think you only have great things to gain from confessing your love for him
Confusedalways Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I've often found that when one party as ready to say it as you seem to be, it's often more of a "burden" (for lack of a better word) to have to walk around wondering and wondering when you can just get it out in the open! Some guys want girls to say it first- it is really hard to know and to tell. Maybe you need to just bite the bullet first. The parents saying things about your parents is an awesome sign. Good luck, this sounds promising!
Author jkrisov Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 It's awesome you wrote this. Last summer my friend Brett was telling me how he loved his gf but was afraid to tell her in fear that she wouldn't say it back. His gf then told me the exact same thing about him but said she felt 'weird vibes' from him as well. She was the one who ended up saying it first and they just recently passed their anniversary. I definitely think you're ready, and imo the fact his parents made a heavy handed comment like your parents could be their in-laws shows maybe they know something you don't. Don't take a random internet guy's word for it, but from what you describe, I think you only have great things to gain from confessing your love for him Awww! I already have a plot to indirectly find out if he loves me/is waiting out for me. We're probably going out with a bunch of our friends this weekend, so after a few drinks I'm going to tell one of his friends I love him/afraid to say anything and see what they say. They'll probably end up telling him what I said later that night but at least that breaks the ice a little haha. Whatever, it's cute!
sagetalk Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 In my opinion, it's always better for the girl to say it first. If you say it and he doesn't, it just makes you look girly and too emotional. You can still keep dating. However, if the guy says it and you don't feel it yet, it makes him look girly and emotional and the relationship is probably over. Go for it!
Author jkrisov Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 I've often found that when one party as ready to say it as you seem to be, it's often more of a "burden" (for lack of a better word) to have to walk around wondering and wondering when you can just get it out in the open! Some guys want girls to say it first- it is really hard to know and to tell. Maybe you need to just bite the bullet first. The parents saying things about your parents is an awesome sign. Good luck, this sounds promising! Thanks! It's definitely frustrating. I'm pretty confident he loves me and I feel like we have everything going for us except that one detail. Six months is kind of a while for two people to be exclusive and intimate with each other and not exchange the "I love you"s yet. I mean, it's been half a year! He said I'm his second longest relationship he's ever had. Yikes! So I can see why he's being a little cautious about it. Also his friend started dating his girl friend around the same time as us and they said their I love yous like 3 months ago! Not that I'm in a rush or anything but still.
CandyGirlXO Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 My BF took 10 MONTHS to tell me!!! But hey I was worried too He was really burned and I'm only his 2nd gf so I knew it would take him a while. He is also 30 and I'm 27 so it's no longer HS where people say I love you after a week. I wanted him to really mean it. And now he tells me every day! :love: I personally refused to say it first. That's just how I am. I waited patiently. Totally worth it. I'm so in love.
make me believe Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I think "holding your ground" in this situation is kinda silly! If you love your boyfriend & want to tell him & all signs are pointing to him feeling the same way, just tell him!! He is probably thinking the exact same thing you are, and waiting for you to say it first. That's what happened with my BF and I, and finally I couldn't hold it in anymore and he was so happy that I said it. (And for us this occured only a couple months into the relationship! NO way would I have been able to bite my tongue for an additional four months!)
carhill Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Just to prove ILY means nothing, someone whom I shared many ILY's with over the decades lamented, as late as last year, that her BF of eight years had never told her he loved her. They bought a house together earlier this year. I guess 'I love you' comes in many forms FWIW, OP, I've suffered my share of use and abuse at the hands of women in my 51 on this rock and still have no problem telling people, both men and women, that I love them. I'll never give women, not even stbx, that much power over who I am. Your guy has his path. He'll figure it out and will tell you when he's ready. Hope you're still around. Good luck.
Eeyore79 Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 You're attaching a lot of importance to this ILY! What difference does it make as long as you're happy? On a few occasions I've said ILY to someone and then ended up dumping them a few months later. On the other hand, I can't recall ever having said it to the man who was my greatest love. It's only words; actions mean far more. If you want to ease gently into saying it, maybe skirt around the subject by calling him "my beloved", "my love"... see how he responds. Look into his eyes and tell him that you really like him. Hopefully you'll see positive cues which will encourage you to say ILY, or maybe he'll feel encouraged to say it himself!
Sivok Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Keep us updated! I'm looking forward to knowing how this turns out
Author jkrisov Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 You're attaching a lot of importance to this ILY! What difference does it make as long as you're happy? On a few occasions I've said ILY to someone and then ended up dumping them a few months later. On the other hand, I can't recall ever having said it to the man who was my greatest love. It's only words; actions mean far more. If you want to ease gently into saying it, maybe skirt around the subject by calling him "my beloved", "my love"... see how he responds. Look into his eyes and tell him that you really like him. Hopefully you'll see positive cues which will encourage you to say ILY, or maybe he'll feel encouraged to say it himself! Ha, I've definitely have done that already! A few times I've said something like "mi amor!" and he would say "mi amor" back to me. A few months ago he said he "more than liked me". Also when we went through that one big fight, when it was over he said to me "the thought about never seeing you again scared me and made me realize how much I really like you". Sooo cute! That's probably the closest he's ever got to saying he loves me though.
Author jkrisov Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Keep us updated! I'm looking forward to knowing how this turns out Ohhh I definitely will! Hahah
Author jkrisov Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 My BF took 10 MONTHS to tell me!!! But hey I was worried too He was really burned and I'm only his 2nd gf so I knew it would take him a while. He is also 30 and I'm 27 so it's no longer HS where people say I love you after a week. I wanted him to really mean it. And now he tells me every day! :love: I personally refused to say it first. That's just how I am. I waited patiently. Totally worth it. I'm so in love. AWW so cute! I definitely refuse to say it first. I know it sounds so silly but I think I've definitely been giving him a lot of hints about it. He's the one who is keeping me in the dark about it sometimes. That's interesting you brought up the age though. I'm 21 and he's 26. Sometimes he'll make fun of younger girls around my age, saying they don't know what they want. He would say how when he was my age he was very lost and not emotionally stable. I don't believe that's how he views me though because he's never once said anything like that about me, even when we got into fights. But maybe this is why he's holding out? Perhaps he thinks I'm a little young? But then again if he thought these things and looked at them as negative qualities about me then he wouldn't still be with me 6+ months later..? I don't know. I'm probably just over analyzing things.
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