jennie-jennie Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Well, in my case, it was worth it. As things are playing out now, it seems that it was and is much more than just sex, which is all that I wanted, in the beginning. My MW has grown and matured, and so have I. I regret any hurt the A caused, but the H of my MW was unfaithful too, so there is very little lasting damage to anyone. I know that many others have suffered greatly, and I feel for all of them, but I now am sure that I would and do love my STBEXMW regardless of her former marital status. I regret only the manner and deceit, not the sex and Love. What!!! "Former marital status?!!" Have I missed an update of some kind?
KATANYA Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Heading into year five and I have no regrets.....I love hiim, he loves me, there are no hidden agendas or idealistic notions that anything in either of our lives will change - it works for us and when one of us decides its no longer worth it we will walk away and I will be glad for the love, laughter and memories we shared. It will hurt but it will never be regret!
OWoman Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Heading into year five and I have no regrets.....I love hiim, he loves me, there are no hidden agendas or idealistic notions that anything in either of our lives will change - it works for us and when one of us decides its no longer worth it we will walk away and I will be glad for the love, laughter and memories we shared. It will hurt but it will never be regret! Hey Katanya!! Great to see you back! Hope things are good with you? (((((hugs)))))
Author someday Posted June 7, 2010 Author Posted June 7, 2010 MizFit, I love the portion of lyrics that you've posted. Ev'ry so often we long to steal To the land of what-might-have-been But that doesn't soften the ache we feel When reality sets back in It's very beautiful. I'd love to be able to PM you, but don't know how. Maybe I just need to wait?
jthorne Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 I'd love to be able to PM you, but don't know how. Maybe I just need to wait?Unless you become a supporting member, you will not have PM privledges until July 1 (your one month anniversary).
Circular Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 First post My A ended a few months ago, it was my first and my last. My xAP is an incredible woman and if circumstances of our lives had been different I have no doubt that we'd be together for the long run. I have never in my life felt the depth of connection or the love that I experienced with her. I took the route of ending it because there are young children involved and we are both married (Our relationship lasted about 3 years). We both mutually agreed, painfully, that for now this was the right thing to do for everyone involved. We've been in NC for about 6 weeks now. It's killer, and I've never experienced this depth of loss over a relationship before. Was it worth it, has it been worth it? Yes, for me definitely but it's also each individuals unique situation that creates the answer. I have no regrets, I don't believe like others have posted to live a life of regrets. Even though I'm in a lot of pain right now, I miss my xAP as if my best friend died, I still do not regret it or believe it wasn't worth it. I'm a very introspective person and I gained an incredible amount of insight about myself, my strengths and insecurities, what drove me to make the step of having an A to begin with, what was missing from my life and what wasn't working in my own M. I have a lot of work to do on myself from what I've learned and that's what I'm focusing all my energy on right now. If you travel the uncharted path be prepared to deal with all the scrapes and bruises.
Mombot Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Neither. I look FORWARD and smile. The A was wonderful. The M that came out of the A is awesome. More than worth it! That said - my situation was different to yours. I was D. I did not have to compromise on vows, morals or authenticity. The costs may well be higher for you. Was your AP Married? How did you deal with that?
OWoman Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Was your AP Married? How did you deal with that? He was. But that was for him to deal with, not me.
pkn06002 Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 In some ways yes others no 1) Yes - always special to have a great love in life. 2) No - the pain and frustration are a lot to deal with.
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