don't bore me Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 don;t understand what she means when she says she feels like she is walking on egg shells,I know she is kind of touchy about what words you say and can change moods in a sec. but I have never yelled ,got mad,or said I was leaving her in the year we have been together,only one time I got mad in the year we have been seeing eac hother,so I just don't get this and need to get a handle on it.this is mostly when she has been when she has had a few drinks,but it happens often so,need to know.she has pmms and i try to track the dates but it seems it can be anytime of the month
GrayClouds Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 It likely more about her then you. I suspect she has general insecurity about relationship and simple do not trust they will last. If so, your in almost impossible position, for you can clime the highest mountain for her, but it still will not be enough. Though it does appear the relationship needs works on communications, which if she is not feeling secure to began with it may be hard for her to open up. Though likely it is exasperated by things you are contributing / doing unknowingly. If you both are truly committed to the relationship it would be helpful to do some couple therapy to help untangle all it.
Ilovecake Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 You might not think you get mad or yell but this is about her perception and something you are doing is making her very nervous. This might not even be something you are aware of. You might want to ask her to communicate to you a little clearer what exactly it is that's making her feel unsafe around you. I would say a good start on your part would be not to be a chauvinist pig and assume that because she is not acting the way you think she should it’s automatically PMS since as a man you don’t know the first thing about women’s biology and obviously don’t even know what PMS is or you wouldn’t use it in those terms.
Author don't bore me Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 (edited) It likely more about her then you. I suspect she has general insecurity about relationship and simple do not trust they will last. If so, your in almost impossible position, for you can clime the highest mountain for her, but it still will not be enough. Though it does appear the relationship needs works on communications, which if she is not feeling secure to began with it may be hard for her to open up. Though likely it is exasperated by things you are contributing / doing unknowingly. If you both are truly committed to the relationship it would be helpful to do some couple therapy to help untangle all it. thinking you are right about the therapy.have been a great boyfriend,even she tells me that.tells me that I have a huge heart and soul,seems she still walks out when she gets upset,sometimes it is over nothing it seems.I keep looking at me.what this time????im no angel I must admit,I have moods too.not one to pick a fight.love her. Edited June 3, 2010 by don't bore me missed a note
Parlanchina Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 don;t understand what she means when she says she feels like she is walking on egg shells' date='I know she is kind of touchy about what words you say and can change moods in a sec. but I have never yelled ,got mad,or said I was leaving her in the year we have been together,only one time I got mad in the year we have been seeing eac hother,so I just don't get this and need to get a handle on it.this is mostly when she has been when she has had a few drinks,but it happens often so,need to know.she has pmms and i try to track the dates but it seems it can be anytime of the month[/quote'] In my opinion, yes, GrayClouds is right, she has some insecurity issues because she seems a lot like me, except for the DRINKING part, but yes, changing moods, getting mad for no apparent reason... You mentioned that you were leaving her in a year? What's up with that?
Author don't bore me Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 paralanchina not leaving her,hope things will get better as time go's by .need this fixed soon
sugarmomma Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Are you critical/over critical of her as in you have something to say about almost everything she does? That would make me feel as if I were walking on eggshells.
Author don't bore me Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Are you critical/over critical of her as in you have something to say about almost everything she does? That would make me feel as if I were walking on eggshells. she says I am,others say not really that they see?she tells me that I tend to me condsending or neg. maybe I am,have been looking at my self a lot because of her saying it.even asked my ex
Author don't bore me Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 thanks cake even her girlfiends tell me to look out,for the pmms,she has gone to the dr. about the mood swings she has and warned me before we were even dating.she ex told me too.so as far as the pig thing go's don't think so.I can see that she is talking things out of context sometimes and I hate that.your right we need to communicate better
carhill Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 OP, while reflection is a good thing, acceptance also is healthy. Accept that there will be times she will be angry at you or feel hurt by you, justified or not. She owns her feelings. You're responsible for your actions and words. Reflect upon them. Own them. The best way to have peace is to be alone. Everything else is a compromise. Good luck
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