wingman2 Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 This is long but please hear me out. I honestly have no idea where I currently stand. Me and my ex have been broken up for 3 months now over really no reason at all, the reason was never clear to me and she left me in the rashest way possible that for a while I just believed it was pms. We were together for 3 1/2 years and had the most amazing relationship you can dream of. We were even planning on getting married. It was a really bizarre breakup and to this day I got no closure. We continued talking for 2 weeks, then I implemented NC. 3 1/2 weeks later she initiates contact and admits to thinking of me constantly and missing me incredibly. I kept my guard up and put her off. I didn't know her intentions and neither did I want to show her that I'm clingy or dependent which was one of the reasons we left. We met up a week later and has a cadual conversation which went ok but set me back. Also take note there was no arguments prior to the break up. We haven't argued in a year. This kept going for well over a month, she'd always be the one to contact me and call me but whenever we did talk she never had a thing to say. Finally I decided to quit playing the game and make myself available when she wants to talk. This worked and for a time she actually began to catch interest in me. Last week she wrote me a text in my parents language which I also know and thought it was very sweet. We talked but she couldn't really talk cause she had a lot to do since she was leaving to go look at colleges since she'll be switching this year. Next day however she texted me asking if I wanted to talk but it was a hard day for me however we did exchange a few text. Then Saturday night she got back home and we talked through aim. We finally had a really good conversation, talking about the university she visited and how it went. She even ended the conversation but ended it by saying goodnight with a smiley face =] then to my amazement she wrote me back the next day asking how my day is going. This is great since she only did that when we were a couple. I got her message a little late and didn't want to make myself too available so in all it took 3 hours until I got back to her. This was around 9 however she had disappeared and wasn't on her myspace anymore. She never got back to me that night and the next day, memorial day she never got back to me either. I was shocked so Monday night I wrote her asking asking if she was there but nothing. Then finally last night I received a respons. She replied to my message asking if she was there and all she said was "ya" that was it. Pretty lame don't u guys think? Specially after writing about my day and asking about hers. She seemed really disinterested is talking to me. I even became frusterated and asked her about her day again and told her I'm surprised she got back to me late. Maybe I made a wrong move with that but she did say sorry and tell me her day was good nothing more. Thing is the day prior I checked her friend's myspace and to my surprise I saw a picture of her friend, another girl sitting down next to her and in the background some guy sitting down staring down. I couldn't tell whether or not the girl was my ex. It didn't look like her but there was no way to prove it wasn't. The picture wasn't clear and the girl appeared to have short hair and wearing glasses. My ex has long hair and wears contacts. However she does have a pair of glasses she uses at night when she takes her contacts out. Also if she put her hair up or behind her back she can look like the girl in the pic. The week before however her friend had a picture with herself and some other guy whom I believe is her boyfriend. This guy in the new picture was a different guy. I really wanted to confirm if the girl is my ex so I asked how her memorial day was. She said "it was really good, u?". This sparked my attention even more and told her my memorial day was great to get her curious but all she said was that's good. I didn't feel like it was my business to ask what she did but I figured if I got her curious she would ask and therefore I can ask back. I never got back to her and I'm still eager to ask where she was memorial day. I've decided to go back into NC until she reaches out to me cause obviously she didn't want to talk. Also the other day I stumbled upon her facebook and apparently she thinks I can't find her facebook so she never changes a thing on her myspace but in turn fiddles around with facebook. She had posted a gorgeous hot picture of herself as her default, wearing a hot dress, lots of make up, got her hair done, and stared into the camera almost trying to look seductive. This is really unlike her since she never wears much make up (she's beautiful naturally) and she's never tried to be an attraction whore. She's always posted normal pictures of herself on her profiles but this time it was obvious she was trying to look very attractive. I don't even want to know how many sleezebags posted comments on her picture and polished their junk off to it. This really hurts and disappoints me. When I thought things were getting better they get worse and I remain so confused. I honestly don't know who she is anymore and talking to her last night didn't feel like her and seeing her picture, I didn't see the amazing girl I fell in love with. My questions are, should I try and find out where she was memorial day and should I just settle this? I have so many things to say to her, so many awful things too but I feel as if I can't say a word. I want to find out her intentions for talking to me and whether or not she has a boyfriend because if so I want to end this. I want to know if she's even worth my time. I'm not going to be used and kept on the line like this. I never got closure so I really just want to express myself to her, not to get her back but to get closure and know what she wants. She never gave me a chance to speak my mind. I'm tired of this and don't like where things are going. I want to end this if this is getting me no where and if she comes back then she should return and admit she was wrong and wants me back. Also if she indeed has someone else then she's a hypocrite bexause she told me she's not interested in any relationship until at least a year from now since she wants to work on herself. That's the first excuse she gave me. Also how can I stop myself from viewing her myspace/facebook? If there a site blocker I can use? I don't even have myspace but I can still view her default pic and headline. Thanks for taking your time. Sorry for the long read.
Author wingman2 Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 Also sorry for all the typo's, I had just woken up.
northstar1 Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Wing Why do you continue to torture yourself? She's not coming back and if she does, it will end the same way. Get off FB and myspace. Delete your account if you need to. But you need to accept it's over and stop looking at her stuff. What good will come of it?
Perhaps Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 (edited) Hey wingman, You say you're not clear about the reason behind the breakup. Why don't you just calmly ask her, "Why did you break up with me?" I mean, it seems like she only calls you when she misses you. It's clear she has detached herself and wants to get some more attention from others -- that would explain the racy pictures. Seriously, just leave this girl alone. If you want, talk to her once, firmly, about her reasons behind the breakup. If she doesn't want to talk, say that you tried. Then you say goodbye and delete her number. I don't know about Myspace, but you can block her account on Facebook. This girl sounds like she's enjoying her "freedom" - and as much as it may hurt you to see her act like a little attention *****, let her be. She'll come to her senses. If she calls, ignore it. If it's an emergency, she can call 911. You will not respond to her texts, calls, IMs (you'll block her on AIM or whatever IM program you use), emails (delete and block her as a contact), whatever. She needs to understand that she can't just play around with you and talk to you when she wants -- you have better things to devote your time to - like your own well being. If she lacks the maturity to discuss serious matters with you, then you lack the time and attention she needs from you to make herself feel better. Don't expect her to admit what she's done wrong. I've noticed a pattern among exes -- they won't admit they're wrong and will somehow blame you for everything. Resist the temptation to explain and defend yourself. I know it's a tough pill to swallow, but it's better than giving her the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of you. Stay strong. Edited June 2, 2010 by Perhaps
ADF Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 First of all, try to make your posts shorter. You have a very legitimate issue here, but you're not going to get many responses because your post is too long. That said, keep the following in mind. Any time someone breaks off a relationship with you out of the blue, the out-of-the-blue part is on your side only. Clearly, there is a great deal your ex-GF isn't telling you. My guess is there is at least more man involved. It is a hard fact of life that sometimes we never get the whole truth out of people. It sounds like your GF is one of those folks who will do damned near anything to make a difficult situation as easy on herself as possible. Your feelings apparently do not count. Let her go. She's not worth it.
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