daa Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 My girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago, we have a 6 month old son together. We have a very odd history nonetheless I love her and had hoped we could raise our child together as a family... Not even 2 weeks after the beak up she was already dating this other guy (a long time friend that probably was trying to pick her up while we were still together) and now she says she is in love with him and hes the best guy shes ever met..blah blah.. She told me that she doesn't love me anymore and that she wants to remain friends for our son. The thing is she is constantly texting me and even comes over to visit me while her new boyfriend is at work and she even still wears a ring i bought her. The other day she was complaining to me about her boyfriend..as much as I wanted to trash him I tried to stay objective as to not worsen the situation. And as for me, well I do know it was partially my fault for her leaving me since I wasn't exactly the nicest person to her..its only after they've left that you realize all these things. But I do honestly believe that we could make our relationship work and I think she still does love me...I just don't know what to do about it anymore... Hope someone can enlighten me! Thanks for listening..
What_Next Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 You have a child, that will never change. You need to try everything you can to keep it civil. OK, that's out of the way. Now, she obviously wanted to see how green the grass was, or has some other issues to work out for herself. That's her issue, not yours. Restrict all contact with this woman to only dealing with the child. Period, no exceptions. Maybe not what you wanted to hear, but you needed to hear it.
Author daa Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 You have a child, that will never change. You need to try everything you can to keep it civil. OK, that's out of the way. Now, she obviously wanted to see how green the grass was, or has some other issues to work out for herself. That's her issue, not yours. Restrict all contact with this woman to only dealing with the child. Period, no exceptions. Maybe not what you wanted to hear, but you needed to hear it. Thank you for your honesty, I spoke with her toady and made it clear i didn't want any contact with her unless it was about our son. She keeps calling and txting and I just ignore them. But now what? I'm just supposed to not speak to her until when? I'm so confused..wish these things were so much simpler..
What_Next Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 She keeps calling and txting and I just ignore them. But now what? I'm just supposed to not speak to her until when? I'm so confused..wish these things were so much simpler.. Good, keep it that way. Have you found "the 180" on this forum yet? If not, get it, read it and use it. While I am not following it verbatim as I cannot since we are still living under the same roof, I am trying. Things won't be simpler for a while. I had to nearly tear myself apart inside to get anywhere at all. I'm not there yet, far from it, but I am getting there. Hang in there.
ADF Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 When someone you split up with suddenly starts dating a new person out of the blue, you can be pretty sure the out-of-the-blue part is on your end only. I don't know what the whole truth is in your case, but I'll bet you haven't heard it yet. That said, I would stop trying to be friends with your ex. It sounds like you're hoping the friendship will restart your relationship, and that is unlikely. Don't set yourself up for more heartbreak. Instead, concentrate of being civil to her for the sake of your son. That is the best you can do in your situation.
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