Confusedalways Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Background: I'm 22. Just started online dating. Talked to a guy for about a week via email. Progressed to phone. After back and forth for nearly a week, we finally were able to speak (I called him 4 times and left VMs, he called me 3/left VMs and I was able to pick up on the 4th time he tried me back). That brings us to now. We talked for about an hour, the conversation was pleasant with minimal pauses. I really thought he'd ask me out by the end of it, but he didn't. Instead he told me he'd "try" to call later this week to "check in and see if I won that auction on ebay" [we talked about how I had just bid on something, haha]. He did allude to instances where we might meet, by saying something like, "I guess I won't worry about you beating me pool then" [after telling him how over the weekend I lost terribly in pool]. That was Sunday. Do guys generally use the word 'try' so it doesn't cement them into having to call? Or was he literally thinking he will 'try' to get ahold of me since both of our schedules are so busy? Also, when would you expect a call? I'm not worried yet, but I feel like by tomorrow I might start to get a little antsy. I like this guy so far, but I hate this whole guessing game thing . Am I be completely paranoid?
Serenitynow Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Do guys generally use the word 'try' He is playing the game on you that women love. He used the word try on you because now you have the mindset that you are not so important to him, and it will cause you to yearn for his attention even more. He also has set a standard that you are used to now. If you end up dating more, this standard will always be there to allow him to squirm/wiggle out of things with his non chalaunt attitude. Most guys that play games will always use generalized terms or ways of speaking. I am very straight forward and structured. dates, times, places. Thats why women dont like to date me, I dont give them any sense of mystery
Sivok Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 So you haven't heard from him at all in 3 days? Hmm, it's tough to call. He seems to be moving slowly with this. It could be one of three things: He's really busy, he's shy/anxious, his interest level is low. If he's shy, he would've communicated with you atleast via text or email within the past few days. If he didn't, I'm going to go with 1 or 3 - moreso 3. I can't speak from his own perspective but I can speak from mine. I've done online dating a decent amount the past year, usually I'll take things vocally within 24 hours of a few back and forth messages. After establishing mutual interest/connection, I'll immediately plan to meet up some time for atleast a lunch with some idea of a time for the date "im busy here and then, how about this time?". I've been on numerous dates with online people where the phone/online connection didn't translate completely well to RL and if I didn't set up a date within the first couple times we talk, I'm usually not that interested and just having fun with it/'practicing'.
Author Confusedalways Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 So you haven't heard from him at all in 3 days? Hmm, it's tough to call. He seems to be moving slowly with this. It could be one of three things: He's really busy, he's shy/anxious, his interest level is low. If he's shy, he would've communicated with you atleast via text or email within the past few days. If he didn't, I'm going to go with 1 or 3 - moreso 3. I can't speak from his own perspective but I can speak from mine. I've done online dating a decent amount the past year, usually I'll take things vocally within 24 hours of a few back and forth messages. After establishing mutual interest/connection, I'll immediately plan to meet up some time for atleast a lunch with some idea of a time for the date "im busy here and then, how about this time?". I've been on numerous dates with online people where the phone/online connection didn't translate completely well to RL and if I didn't set up a date within the first couple times we talk, I'm usually not that interested and just having fun with it/'practicing'. Thanks Siv, always appreciate your advice/ opinion! I do know for a fact that he is absolutely busy- he is in an upper part of management at a company/ gives music lessons to kids certain nights of the week, but you're right, he hasn't taken the time to email or text which might be a sign he's not interested. We've only exchanged texts once thusfar, when I told him i'd try to call him at X time and he confirmed. Wish he had just said something more definitive, like "nice speaking to you, good luck." Or something. That whole 'try' really got to me!
Sivok Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Whoa what a coincidence. I work in management and give kids private guitar lessons in my free time as well! Don't even get me started on this girl who left me 4 VM's and kept going on about how bad she was at pool this past week! Yeah, it's unfortunate. People take the selfish way out of these situations all the time
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