Cantcope Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I mustered up the courage yesterday to completely block him on Facebook. What happened? 2 hours later, I received a scathing email about what a child I am and that I can't move on and get over him because I can't properly cope with losing such a good guy. He said I know that I ruined our relationship. Unfortunately, I replied and broke 4 days of NC, but I felt the need to say a few more things and defend myself. He had the nerve to bring up the fact that a month ago I looked at his facebook profile through a friends phone, yet says nothing about the fact that if he noticed I blocked him, he was clearly trying to look at mine! So...I did the only thing that my gut, mind and heart told me to do. I blocked his calls, texts and emails as well. How do I feel? Weird. Trying not to let his words affect me. Trying not to believe that I'm being a "34 year old child" by not being his friend. I've done denial, depression, anger, etc. Hoping that this is the beginning of acceptance. Wish me luck!
mickleb Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 You're NOT being one, unless you feel the need to keep defending yourself. And adult doesn't need to keep doing that. Bullet. Dodged. Good luck. x
Nikki Sahagin Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Its not childish to block them at all...though I kind of see how from their perspective it may be. The dumper and the dumpee see things through different eyes. I think more often that not they just feel angry that you feel strong enough to cut them out and so they lash out. Blocking them is the healthy, adult thing to do whilst you're moving on.
supersub Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I mustered up the courage yesterday to completely block him on Facebook. What happened? 2 hours later, I received a scathing email about what a child I am and that I can't move on and get over him because I can't properly cope with losing such a good guy. He said I know that I ruined our relationship. Unfortunately, I replied and broke 4 days of NC, but I felt the need to say a few more things and defend myself. He had the nerve to bring up the fact that a month ago I looked at his facebook profile through a friends phone, yet says nothing about the fact that if he noticed I blocked him, he was clearly trying to look at mine! So...I did the only thing that my gut, mind and heart told me to do. I blocked his calls, texts and emails as well. How do I feel? Weird. Trying not to let his words affect me. Trying not to believe that I'm being a "34 year old child" by not being his friend. I've done denial, depression, anger, etc. Hoping that this is the beginning of acceptance. Wish me luck! Oh no no no, don't fall for the guilt trip. He is annoyed because he now has a lack of control. Trust me. I deleted my ex on My Face, or Space book or whatever the heck the thing is called! She was really annoyed about it, and its all about control. However I didnt do it to annoy her, I did it to protect myself. This does two positive things for you. a) It allows you to move on. b) It piques his interest because he can no longer see what you are up to. Trust me, this is good, and no its not childish when you are trying to protect yourself. Good luck. Supersub
Author Cantcope Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 Just had an altercation at work (we work together). He just WON'T stop calling me a child. I told him to move on. He said that I'm such a kid, hiding from him and making him out to be such an evil guy. Told him that was untrue, he is just a stranger to me now. He carried on that he knows I'll bad mouth him to co-workers. I told him no need, I'm getting on with my life. I left him standing there like a fool. Can't he just get fired already? lol
aeren944 Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 You're NOT being one, unless you feel the need to keep defending yourself. And adult doesn't need to keep doing that. Bullet. Dodged. Good luck. x Exactly! And good luck... you're doing the right thing, for sure.
Ilovecake Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Cantcope you did the right, healthy, grown up thing by blocking him. I would like to congratulate you on such a big step, it’s not easy but it will pay off big time in the long run. Just stick to it. He is being a child by the way he is reacting to this. My ex completely lost it when I cut all contact. He said the same thing that obviously I am so damaged by him leaving me I just can't cope. He said I now hate all men and will never be in a relationship again. The thing is I'm the only one that knows how I feel and he can come to all the sick, narcissistic conclusions he can muster but the important thing is I know none of it is true to my existence and it makes him look like the fool.
Ilovecake Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Can't he just get fired already? lol Actually if he keeps harassing you he sure can.
Perhaps Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I mustered up the courage yesterday to completely block him on Facebook. What happened? 2 hours later, I received a scathing email about what a child I am and that I can't move on and get over him because I can't properly cope with losing such a good guy. He said I know that I ruined our relationship. Unfortunately, I replied and broke 4 days of NC, but I felt the need to say a few more things and defend myself. He had the nerve to bring up the fact that a month ago I looked at his facebook profile through a friends phone, yet says nothing about the fact that if he noticed I blocked him, he was clearly trying to look at mine! So...I did the only thing that my gut, mind and heart told me to do. I blocked his calls, texts and emails as well. How do I feel? Weird. Trying not to let his words affect me. Trying not to believe that I'm being a "34 year old child" by not being his friend. I've done denial, depression, anger, etc. Hoping that this is the beginning of acceptance. Wish me luck! The Hardest thing to do is to not let the ex's words affect you or drive your behaviour. Curb the need to explain and defend your actions because some people will always find a way to get a response from you. I know it is unbelievably hard to ignore them because this was once the person who you thought knew you very well. But, you have to teach yourself to rise above it all and you have definitely taken a step in the right direction by completely blocking him off. Why do all our exes sound like one person? lol
Author Cantcope Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 Thank you all so much for your replies. It's hard as heck to see him so many times a day and have to throw my nose in the air. If he says "hi" in passing, I say "hey", but I will not go out of my way to speak to him. He just can't get why I don't treat him with the same "respect" as my other fellow co-workers. GEE......maybe it's because I haven't f****d my other co-workers! lol Good day so far ya'll. And I thank you so much for being here for me...and everyone else while we get through this.
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