bubbles5 Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 (edited) well its very long I had big fight with my x-best frnd, now I no more believe in best frndships. Anyways she kept criticizing every move like 1. I dont spend time with her which is true, 2. I am too busy , that was true bcos my career was in stake , 3. I wasnt there for hanging around. But whenever I did get time I would try to hangout n when I hangout its all abt shopping n movies n we end up not talking much. Secondly , I used to be one who use to call her everytime for all her guy problems n spoke hrs to help her out. She forgets all that. After having a huge fight , I stopped calling her though we both text msg each other. Recently we both had our exams finish but I got caught up with my family thing so I msg her v will meet next week . And she took it wrong way as usual. later when I was done I again msg where to go out in hurry. She doesnt msg me bak 4 a week al of sudden she sends me a msg that , I dont call her she is always the one to call .Basically she keeps showing how much she does for me n I do nothing for her, But b4 we had a fight it was always me to call her up .Everytime I made all phonecalls. She blames me for minute things .She wants justification for everything . She criticizes n keeps me remind me of small events I did this for u n that for u. I dont keep any foolish immature record for what we do for person whom we bcome frnds, When I do call she doesnt talk to me , her sister or someone comes n tells she is not there , she is sleeping etc. Its just DAMN ANNOYING WHEN PPL KEEP RECORD OF EVERY LITTLE THING THEY DO. I feel so stuck with this. She is my childhood frnd so I dont want to loose. But I dont keep stupid track of every minute thing. Everyminute thing she turns into big major issue. And I hate that.I got not much of frnds. Its very difficult to get her at times. Sometimes she messages I mean world to her n next moment she would say something very insulting. Best quality is that she attacks at any moment abt all filled up thoughts n emotions and flare up over me all her anger. So I keep distance now a days. I dont know how to react, And one main point she had got major career downfall , she was topper person in her career came down to nothing n so her professional frnds are lost. Most of them are lost. I dont get wat should I do to save my frndship. pls help... Basically watever I do she keeps analayzing it n take everything in a negative way n then she would blame me. She would judge me everytime by my action n she would remember it and then she would tell me i said this things on that day etc. But I dont remember so much.I dont do things purposely and she thinks I do it purposely. Edited June 2, 2010 by bubbles5
aerialite Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Sounds like you have tried distancing yourself from this relationship (wether you realized it or not), and that is probably for your own well being. You sound like you've got a lot of other things on your plate, and putting your time and energy into a vortex of perpetual un-satisfaction is not on your agenda. I don't blame you. Also sounds like her recent misfortune with her career may be causing her to hyper-focus on things that she thinks she can control (AKA- YOU). She sounds like she may know how to manipulate you (i.e. - the listing of things you do and don't do correctly - makes you feel guilty - therefore she gets a response our of you). I would be her friend by encouraging her to be interested in other things, and working on herself. Explain that you are really busy and sorry for the way that makes her feel - its nothing personal, and then schedule time to do stuff with her. And don't break your plans - that's sabotage to yourself! Make plans that you can keep. Maybe you guys could do an progressive activity - like the gym - instead of shopping or movies. Working on a project together gives you reasons for updates like text messaging, and gives her a source of personal interest that she could possibly maintain without having to drag you into it all the time? I've had friends like this, and I've cut them loose for periods of time. When they get their stuff together, we can be friends again. But someone trying to manipulate you and guilt you into hanging with them is not fair to either person.
Author bubbles5 Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Hey aerialite thnks a lot i really appericiate this. Its just that its not the same feeling now any more. I do feel its like we are ending apart.I would try out ur suggestions for sure. Its been helpful. Yesterday I was too upset with it. But lets see now how it goes. And now difficult part is that I have to think a lot before my every action.Bcos I dont know when she would feel bad on my which behaviour n that would make her angry.So I keep distance. But lets hope things get better. But if she keeps blaming me for every small things then I guess i have to think. Yup I agree she is manipulative person too calculative and I am exactly opposite. I am more of at moment type person. Though the fact is that we both have very different understanding.So its been difficult to handle messy situation.if anyone has more sugggestion pls do advice
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