Mombot Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I was wondering, who is going to tell you if something happens to the MM/MW, like a traffic accident or God forbid, they die... particularly if they travel a lot or live far?
MizFit Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I was wondering, who is going to tell you if something happens to the MM/MW, like a traffic accident or God forbid, they die... particularly if they travel a lot or live far? From some of his friends who know me...we're not close, but they have my email address and would let me know.
pureinheart Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I was wondering, who is going to tell you if something happens to the MM/MW, like a traffic accident or God forbid, they die... particularly if they travel a lot or live far? ExDM would have gone to great lengths to get word to me, even from the grave. He did not give up easy, I'm not beinhg sarcastic either...it's the truth.
jennie-jennie Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 We are in contact every day so I would notice immediately that something was wrong. We have talked about this, and I know his siblings from way back so I would call them and ask what is going on.
pureinheart Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 We are in contact every day so I would notice immediately that something was wrong. We have talked about this, and I know his siblings from way back so I would call them and ask what is going on. Ya jennie, we know all the same people, his brother and sister would know to call me. We taked about it too during the A and he seriously said he'd contact me from the grave... It does concern me, he lives about 20-30 min away in bumb f Egypt and is priddy much by himself and has chest pains all the time (I think it's anxiety, but still)... Even though things didn't turn out the way I would have liked, it would still leave a BIG void in my world if something were to happen to him...even after everything.
skylarblue Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I’d have no idea if something tragic happened to MM. No one knows we’re dating. I don’t know his family or friends. No one in his life knows I even exist. I’ve told him if he didn’t return my calls for 2 days I’d assume he didn’t want to see me anymore and I wouldn’t call him again. So I’d think he dumped me and not know something was wrong. The only way I’d possible know anything is if he was an in-the-line-of-duty fatality local news story (god forbid). It’s really sad.
OWoman Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I was wondering, who is going to tell you if something happens to the MM/MW, like a traffic accident or God forbid, they die... particularly if they travel a lot or live far? I was listed as his "next of kin", so I guess the emergency services?
jthorne Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I was wondering, who is going to tell you if something happens to the MM/MW, like a traffic accident or God forbid, they die... particularly if they travel a lot or live far?What happens in his life is no longer my concern. Just as if something happened to me, I wouldn't want or expect him to know- or care for that matter.
jennie-jennie Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 What happens in his life is no longer my concern. Just as if something happened to me, I wouldn't want or expect him to know- or care for that matter. Really? I would want to know if something happened to any of my long term exes. I still love them, even though they now belong in my past. In fact I believe the hardest grief I have had to go through was when an ex of mine (and we were only together for a short period) got murdered several years later. I still cared for him although I had chosen not to continue our relationship due to his alcoholism.
jthorne Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Really? I would want to know if something happened to any of my long term exes. I still love them, even though they now belong in my past. In fact I believe the hardest grief I have had to go through was when an ex of mine (and we were only together for a short period) got murdered several years later. I still cared for him although I had chosen not to continue our relationship due to his alcoholism.Nope. He's no longer a part of my life, nor am I a part of his. I mean if someone I dated in high school died, would I expect to be contacted? Of course not, the relationship ended years ago. He's no more a part of my life than the nice man who picks up my garbage. I'm not a part of the garbage man's life... Why should I be notified if he passed away? To answer the original question, when we had a relationship, he told me that I was on a list of people his son was to contact. I don't know if I'm still on the list or not. He told me that he expected me to be at the service. I told him I would not because it was too disrespectful to his wife. He didn't agree.
jennie-jennie Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Nope. He's no longer a part of my life, nor am I a part of his. I mean if someone I dated in high school died, would I expect to be contacted? Of course not, the relationship ended years ago. He's no more a part of my life than the nice man who picks up my garbage. I'm not a part of the garbage man's life... Why should I be notified if he passed away? To answer the original question, when we had a relationship, he told me that I was on a list of people his son was to contact. I don't know if I'm still on the list or not. He told me that he expected me to be at the service. I told him I would not because it was too disrespectful to his wife. He didn't agree. My MM has also clearly stated that he expects me to be at his funeral if he would pass away.
OWoman Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 My MM has also clearly stated that he expects me to be at his funeral if he would pass away. I never realised pillow talk could be that romantic...
fooled once Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 The bigger question is -- how would any current OW see the MM in the hospital? I am not sure the wife would want some strange woman showing up, expecting or demanding to be allowed in to see the guy. That is probably one of the worst/hardest things about being an OW -- always waiting for an answer (like in this situation) and knowing you aren't welcome at the hospital and probably not a funeral.
Heather1 Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 My grieving time is now, so I don't expect to see him again. His friends might tell me? If something were to happen to me, I don't think he'd come running to my side & I wouldn't do that to him either. As for funerals, ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I'm sorry, as much as it seems like a caring gesture on your part, IT IS NOT!! Being the funeral queen lately, it is all about the living family members, meaning spouse & kids. I went to a friend's funeral a few years back & his W cut me out of his life. I'm sure she thought something went on between us before they got married, but nothing did, we were only friends & never crossed the line. That was awkward & awful. Really, chances are nothing's going to happen to our OM/OW for a long time so it's not worth thinking about really. If something actually does, it's really inappropriate!! Like ranked up there higher than having the A in the first place. Like I said, I'm just going to grieve now & wish him well.
lilagirl Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 We have the same circle of friends, and he is very close to my family. My family would notify me. As we "were" best friends, it wouldn`t be that strange that I attended a funeral. The devastation I would exhibit would be another story... ugh... Like Jennie, I would know by 9 am if something happened to him. One night he was having anxiety attacks and I encouraged him to go to the DR. shortness of breathe, numb, etc. Panic attacks were a new symptom of his... The next day, i didn`t hear from him until 11 am... I was so worried...
SummerSnow Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 MM told his brother about our A and gave my mobile number to him "just in case."
Author Mombot Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Will have to talk to MM next time I see him...
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