iwanttolive Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 The only thing that makes me happy and excited is having guys' attention. My hobbies and interests are those which lead me to this goal. For example, I love swimming because it makes me tanned, toned and sexy. I play piano because it's sexy too. I go for marathon because I want to impress guys. I maintain myself really well guess for what? I'm engaged but I'm not happy because once I'm married no guys will look at me twice. I'm losing my motivation now and life feels empty. I don't know what will happen when I'm old and ugly. Has anyone experienced this before? I did not realise that I've been making this a habit for many years. Can I recover?
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 The only thing that makes me happy and excited is having guys' attention. My hobbies and interests are those which lead me to this goal. For example, I love swimming because it makes me tanned, toned and sexy. I play piano because it's sexy too. I go for marathon because I want to impress guys. I maintain myself really well guess for what? Are you insecure? Or do you need an ego feed to make you feel good about yourself? Why isn't looking in the mirror and loving 'you' without a guy's input good enough? I'm engaged but I'm not happy because once I'm married no guys will look at me twice. I'm losing my motivation now and life feels empty. I don't know what will happen when I'm old and ugly. Has anyone experienced this before? I did not realise that I've been making this a habit for many years. Can I recover? Don't get married. You're not ready!!! Counseling could help you, also bring your fiancee with you, he needs to know that you have these habits. Can you be faithful to your future husband?
Author iwanttolive Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 Yes, I feel insecure because I could not attract anyone as a teenager. I had the wrong understanding that guys would be attracted to me if I'm smarter and prettier than everyone. I was a late bloomer and kept wondering why some gals just have "it". So I spent years to be that kinda gal and I succeeded. But I can't stop now. I thought I would be happy to settle down finally but no. I constantly look for new challenges trying to attract higher calibre guys.
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 But you DO have someone who loves you, in your life. A man who wants to marry you. He loves you for who you are, not because of how you look. Think about some counselling. Relying on looks and hoping for ego feeds and strokes by other men to give you attention isn't a way to live. Looks fade .. Personality and what's inside is what counts. Learn to "love you" first and then go from there. Again, therapy will help you! You CAN stop now, you've just allowed this behaviour to become a habit. Habits can be broken. There is no such word as "I cant'." I can't is a cop out and an excuse not to do your best to change.
jean-luc sisko Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Dating, in the end, is a highly simple process. It boils down to these steps: - Know yourself - Know what you want - Be confident in who you are Anybody who sticks to these points can get a date, no matter how handsome, successful, etc. Leagues exist, but they're not absolutes by any stretch. Hot doesn't have to meld with hot, and rich doesn't have to meld with rich.
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