SadandConfusedWA Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I have noticed this trend with several people I know, male or female. It's like one-on-one, they act like great friends, even in groups of say 3 or so they will chat to you a lot. They confide in you and keep in contact. Yet, in a larger group of say 20 or so - they completly ignore you and talk only to the others. WTF? It is like in group situations, you really find out where you stand on their priority list. I am seriously thinking of ditching friends that do this. Am I over-reacting?
teanoranges Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 This is tricky, because sometimes in really big groups I find myself going off (away from my closer friends) to entertain other people I don't know so well (and a lot of the times the ones that are more unfamiliar with most of the people there.. I guess I like to make everyone feel welcome) My friends definitely get it, but I also would never ignore them if they talked to me! or walk away if we were in a conversation.. But at the same time, I have had friends like this, where they would plan bigger group things and leave me out, etc... so it really depends on the situation?
Not the love ace Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Like Tea said it really depends. If I am at a party and there's a bunch of new people at the party I'll talk to the new people to make them feel welcomed, lighten up the mood and in hopes of making everyone get together in harmony and of course, make new friends since there is new people there. However, I never ignore my close friends and even include them in on the socialization. I do know what you mean though and if that's an issue that's really bothering you, you should really bring it up to that person(s). Sometimes certain friends unintentionally will do that and won't realize that they may be putting your off to the side and if they are a true friend they will understand. If not, then you know who your real friends are.
brokenblade Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 Ok I'll say it this way. At least from what I hear, your friend is not bad mouthing you behind your back. I guess it sort of depends on the situation. I have friends when we are in a big group, we tend to lose track of each other for a while. But we're still friends anyway.
Tayla Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Some folks really nailed it on being gracious in large group settings. We each want to carry that image on a public level, yet our true friends also know the other side of us. So contingent on that viewpoint its rather common for true friends to know where they stand and its usually inside someones good heart. Also if your friends are of the opposing gender there is an overall consensus to not hang with your friend - it makes it seem the person is spoken for. I personally regard my friends and enjoy sitting back watching there social skills and interactions. Thats entertainment enough
dressing up Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 I would think it depends on whether your friends were being *gracious* and trying to make the wallflowers feel at home or they were trying to hook up with every other guy or trying the win the Miss Congeniality award, thinking that just because you're a friend, you shouldn't mind. If they were doing the gracious bit, I wouldn't be offended. Otherwise, I know what you're saying.
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