pleasedontbreakme Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 My boyfriend of ~2yrs and I broke up for about a month and a half. I dated another guy. (not cheating, my boyfriend knew I dated this other guy). My boyfriend came running back to me, wanted to change and fix things. I broke up with the other guy. Things were great for a little while til the fighting went back to the way it was. Petty arguments, jealousy. When I loosened up and didn't restrict him, he tightened up and got a bit controlling. Always wanting to know where I was all the time, who I was with. Had to let him know whenever I was going out and couldn't talk to him. I had never cheated on him until now...I got back together with the other guy I dated. I admit that I made mistakes, lied. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I couldn't take our constant bickering, that I constantly wondered if I was falling out of love with him. I questioned our relationship that seemed held together by stipulations and I felt like all the happiness that was there in our relationship was replaced by this need to control one another. It's funny how I even lied to myself to justify the cheating. So many times I put up with his crap that no other girl probably would have put up with. So many nights I cried because of him. He wanted to put everything behind us when we got back together, and I guess I just couldn't. I couldn't let go of the past pain. He found out that I cheated on him. He must have logged onto my email, because when I tried to login I found my password changed. He dropped all contact with me. I can't say I blame him. I can't say I'm a saint. It's the first time I cheated on him, and I would have done the same. Part of me is relieved and part of me is sad. Yes, I made my mistakes that I regret. I wish I had had the courage to tell him the truth. He wanted forever---and to me it sounded awful because I was constantly crying. I would tell him I couldn't. That I didn't think this is how a relationship should be. He would always talk me back into staying. I'm not looking for finger pointing, I realize what I did wrong, yet I can't help but wonder who else has been in the same situations. What did you do? I feel like if it's meant to be in the future it will happen that I will be with him.
jnj express Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Hey if it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't meant to be---that's it. You get one chance at life on this planet----you need to make it the best and happiest trip you can You were never gonna be happy with your XBF, so you did the right thing----move on, and enjoy your life
LSNoob Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 OK, I kinda have sympathy towards you, you've been through a lot. I never been cheated on, or cheated on someone, in fact I haven't been in any serious relationship. Turning 22 this year. Anyways, I always wanted to know what was going inside the cheaters brains at "that moment". Having that kinda of jealousy in a relationship is a good thing IMO. Or should I say, TOO MUCH of a good thing. All we need to do is control those feelings by talking to our partner. I mean he's jealous and you're jealous, that's like the best thing you can have, all you need to do just sit down and talk to each other. TALK A LOT TOO, no problemo. But even if it didn't turn out good and you end up like what happened, all that crying and all. You still shouldn't have thought about cheating, that's disgusting, and you did it with a man you had a relationship with. You just told you're BF, that the man you had relationship with was more of a man than he is and you been ****ing him, and you're BF is just not that worth it. You had pleasures and comfort while breaking someones heart like that, you must be sadistic or some kinda sicko. =/ I hope you know that there been a lot of cases were people commit suicide after been cheated on, so I wouldn't be surprise if that poor man ends his life. Not to mention of course that you didn't tell him, he had to find it on his own, that shows him that you're not even regretful of your actions and you don't care as well. So he might hurt himself. I don't believe cheating is a mistake, nope its not. Its a decision WE MAKE. I can't imagine you were walking back home then the next second the other guy comes from no where and appears to be doing you doggy "yeaa baby give it to meee". Am I right? It took a long long long long loooooooooonggggg time to build up and I'm sure you were making all of those decisions at that time. Who knows, you probably never ended things fully with that other guy after you dated, you decided to keep him hanging round to be the "rebound" guy. If you were going through those emotions with your man, why didn't you sit him down and tell him. "Listen BF look man, I been crying every night about you I want you to treat me good. Me and you been jealous because we love each other so much hmm ok?? and errr we should now work on our relationship and if you don't want to change then I think I will leave and no harm done".... that's it, that's all you needed to say =/ BUT, YOU wanted to chose the cheating. Maybe you enjoyed the excitement of cheating and all. We'll never know what kinda person you are. Listen cheating is very easy, the easiest thing in life, easier than breathing air. Being faithful is the hardest thing in life, almost impossible. Only those people that are blessed with the strength to resist the devil's temptation at those bad moments are called faithful. You may be a weak person but that doesn't mean you're a bad person. Hope you learn from you're mistakes and never cheat on anyone (and don't return to your poor xbf he been through a lot because of you, he needs to FORGET you , so he can forget those images in his head. You can never heal his wounds, only other women can, so please let him spends his life with the better woman that he deserves. please). Oh btw, you can't really be "faithful" person again,because that's a title you get when you are born, and once you lose it, you lose it for good. You will become an ex-cheater. But still doesn't mean a bad person, if you do truly change. =) My prayers to your ex, and good luck to you!!
LSNoob Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Oh one more thing, PLEASEEEEE don't take this current guy seriously. He WITNESSED how you cheated on your boyfriend, he will NEVER trust you. He will always think you will cheat on him. Trust me I'm a boy and I'm telling you, guys will tell you anything just to keep you for sex. We don't plan our actions like girls do. All he thinking now "**** it, I just fool her around for few ****s and when the time is up I will say random ****, lol" that's whats going inside his head. So don't fall in love with him or anything pleaseee you don't need more heartache. Just go out with him like bf/gf but just keep it in your mind you two are just **** buddies. Just keep him around when you think you're 100% ready for mature serious committed relationship find a new good man (not your xbf). You and you're xbf are overs now, your actions showed that hes not "the one" for you. Your actions showed that he is replaceable. IF you truly loved him, no matter what you go through, no man can take his place in your heart. There been so many faithful women been through a lot worst than you and still never EVEN thought about cheating. my prayers and best of luck to you =) BE STRONG woman.
Dexter Morgan Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I'm not looking for finger pointing, I realize what I did wrong, yet I can't help but wonder who else has been in the same situations. What did you do? I feel like if it's meant to be in the future it will happen that I will be with him. why do you care? you broke up with this other guy to go back to a jealous x-bf, then run back to him when things with the jealous again-bf got crappy. the new guy is a glutton for punishment. So question is, if you are with the new guy, rather than dispresect him again, why not just move on and give the new guy a fair shot by not working on a relationship with a girl that can't completely drop her x-bf?
Dexter Morgan Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Oh one more thing, PLEASEEEEE don't take this current guy seriously. He WITNESSED how you cheated on your boyfriend, he will NEVER trust you. He will always think you will cheat on him. thats the way I would be and wouldn't want anything to do with someone who cheated. but time and time again people on LS have proven that they don't subscribe to the "if you cheated with me, you'll cheat on me" notion. so everyone is different. but she is playing with this new guy. either she respects him and gives him a fair shot, or she should set him free (but i digress, new guy SHOULD realize he is being toyed with and that there is no excuse for cheating)
BlkAzian Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 life is too short to spend all your time in Drama... If its not ment to be its not ment to be....
Reality Drip Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 The controlling and jealousy is a major drag. Don't even bother with it or look back. Two years is a long lesson learned but the bottom line is even if there was a chance you could reunite it would be tainted and broken. Many of us have cheated before and for our own reasons. What did I do? Remembered the good times only and just moved forward. Why spend your days wallowing in guilt and "what ifs" anyway? The reality of it is that you just needed a fresh start. In the future, you just know to be honest and let the person in on your true feelings. Your true feelings of not wanting to cry every day/night, not want to be kept tabs on like property, and the need to feel trusted. -Max
LSNoob Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Many of us have cheated before and for our own reasons. What did I do? Remembered the good times only and just moved forward. Why spend your days wallowing in guilt and "what ifs" anyway? Nope, not many of us. Cheaters are minority in the real world ( not sure about love shack ). Poor attempt at justifying your actions, cheater. You just made a fool of your self. sorryyyy!! Cheating is an act where you have pleasures in return your mate is getting tortured. That is sick and disturbing. If you enjoy it even more and say you remember the good times only, well Max buddy you need to go get your self checked up as soon as possible, because that is sick and disgusting. Wow, that's just sadistic behavior:sick: @OP: You cheated and you are a cheater now. What you did you know was very bad and immoral, and so inhuman. You messed up BIG time but at least you have a good conscience, every time you remember this you should feel guilty, because you betrayed your "loved" ones. In time I'm sure you can move forward, learn from this experience and those guilty feelings will just disappear as you become a much better person. Wish you best of luck.
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