(ex) bf wrote a nasty email draft to me- dont know what to think

[vtrain]

My boyfriend of 1 year 3 months dumped me a week ago through an email. We both graduated from the same college 2 weeks ago and went back to our hometowns so hes 3 hours away from me now. I'll be 40 minutes away from him starting in September when I relocate for graduate school. We discussed being together through all that. But, when we had a long distance fight 2 days after we graduated he didn't want to be with me anymore...I guess his life transition brought out his true feelings?

 

I was very very upset after he said this and broke up with me- and bugged him too much with calls/emails. I should have just left him alone and this made him pissed off/angry and he prob thought I was a harasser. I guess I should mention he has a big ego and a short temper and he knows it as well. He did it several times in our relationship where he said things angrily during a fight and later said he didn't mean it.

 

2 days after he dumped me I sent him an email. I did something stupidly impulsive and logged into his email an hour later (he gave me the password when we were together, however this is the only time I did this) Didnt snoop- just read his draft email he wrote in response to me. It said some nice things about me such as that I am a great girl with a good sense of humor with a good heart and to stay strong. But he also said we are done and hes sorry we didnt work out and that he never loved me and should have dumped me sooner. He also said "**** you for doing *this* to me" (something from the fight) He says **** all the time when hes pissed

I being a loser, logged into my email and wrote another email to him saying nothing but nice things. He never sent the draft though. He may have simply just forgot to send it and didn't notice. However, I am wondering if by not sending it I still have a chance and he was just venting.

 

I am devastated over this breakup but even more upset by the fact he said those mean things to me. This whole thing"reading his draft email" was 2 days after he dumped me and also a week ago. I havent spoken to him since and have decided to do No Contact and try to move on. I have been strong and its been a week so far. It's also hard bc we're long distance now so it must be very easy to detach himself from me.

[skydiveaddict]

Good for you for going NC. Don't lose anymore sleep over this guy. Since you are so young , I am convinced you will meet the man of your dreams. In the mean time just hang close to your fiend's for support, and know that you will be ok

[westrock]

My boyfriend of 1 year 3 months dumped me a week ago through an email.

 

This is very immature of him and not fair to you.

 

I guess I should mention he has a big ego and a short temper and he knows it as well. He did it several times in our relationship where he said things angrily during a fight and later said he didn't mean it.

 

Big ego, short temper, and poor conflict resolution skills are not qualities that make a healthy romantic relationship.

 

What again is it that makes him attractive to you?

 

There are a lot of other guys out there willing to date you who are mature enough to know how to resolve conflicts without getting angry or saying things that damage the relationship.

 

To be fair, when you "bugged him too much with calls/emails", you also weren't acting in a way that promotes a healthy relationship either.

 

2 days after he dumped me I sent him an email. I did something stupidly impulsive and logged into his email an hour later (he gave me the password when we were together, however this is the only time I did this) Didnt snoop- just read his draft email he wrote in response to me.

 

What was your purpose for logging into his email account other than to snoop? I don't see how you can describe your actions in any way other than to snoop.

 

If he had actually sent you the email, that would be one thing, but it is in his drafts. He may have written the words in the draft, but they may not represent his true thoughts once he calmed down and thought about what he wrote. You can't judge him based on something in his drafts.

 

I being a loser, logged into my email and wrote another email to him saying nothing but nice things.

 

This does not make you a loser. You did the right thing by only saying nice things. It means that deep down you know his email was only a draft.

[whichwayisup]

That draft email was a 'vent' for him and he chose for whatever reason not to send it.

 

Do yourself a favour and make a promise to yourself NOT to look in his email anymore. It's a total invasion of privacy and if he found out, he'd rightfully be pissed at you.

 

Anyway, he sounds high maitenance, has an ego and a temper. Not the greatest qualities for a long term relationship, let alone someone you "may" want to marry some day..