Girls' Week

[sruben]

What 40 yo male get's hit on during a hunting trip???? I may be naive or just don't put myself in those types of position, but keep wondering how this happens (and I am a passable looking guy;))..

 

Well, I'm a 40-something guy and don't consider myself God's Gift to Women , but I was duck hunting with my bro and some of his friend a few years back. We were at a gas station (which had a small snack bar inside) and this gal that worked there hit on me. Came up behind me, started rubbing my neck (!) briefly (the other guys teasing made her stop, I think, before I could) and then told me as we were leaving, "Come back and see me, okay?" Uh, yeah, I don't think so!!

 

But yes, it does happen. If I were wayward, I'd probably have gone back the next weekend, or something. I'm M'd and not interested...

[rewe4reel]

But I personally have taken any number of trips without him, as he has without me as our occupations often require it.

 

Now I think I understand where you are coming from.

[Jack & Coke]

Wow, so I guess I'm the only one who takes trips without my wife and has zero problem when she goes on girls trips. Really the only thing that seems off about this to me is the lingerie. Other than that BFD

[rewe4reel]

Wow, so I guess I'm the only one who takes trips without my wife and has zero problem when she goes on girls trips. Really the only thing that seems off about this to me is the lingerie. Other than that BFD

 

 

Hey it's all good, do whatever suits you and your situation.

 

Personally, I like to spend as much of my free time as possible with my wife.

 

Different strokes, right?

[Backster]

Sorry I haven’t been able to participate in this lively discussion. I’ve been really, really busy at work this week. I should have held off on posting as I had no idea there would be this kind of response to my inquiry. With so many questions no less. Maybe I did post to the wrong listserv, or whatever this is. I feel like I posted an inquiry about working at a chocolate cupcake factory on an Atkins induction board. So, that said, no trolling here. Legitimate, but maybe misplaced inquiry. I’m not in denial. Our marriage is strong and we relate well. I think it’s interesting how people hang on to one thing or another. My wife and I have been on a couple cruises together, but not this particular one. I support her going, that hasn’t changed. And I don’t want to be a tag along. That’s lame to me. Maybe I posted in a moment of weakness and insecurity. One person’s slinky come hither dress is another’s frumpy discount store rag on a middle age woman. The lingerie seems to get people’s attention. I shouldn’t have brought that up. That’s a private matter, not inconsistent with her tastes. She doesn’t really have anything else to take, and it is a cruise, so needed new clothes and doesn’t wear tidy–whities. These are very successful women who have known each other forever and are celebrating an event. I think jumping to the conclusion that cheating is inevitable or the purpose of the trip is more a statement of opinion than anything based on reality. Although it could happen, I acknowledge that fact. Frankly, I think the draconian lie detectors tests and divorce papers are a way over the top. Interesting the women who posted anything hinting at understanding seemed to get ignored. A female friend of mine just did this with a group of her girl friends. She too is married with kids. I asked her about her trip today. They had a blast. There were a lot more women than men. The night life was very lame and for the most part dead. They did get hit on, by laughable, overly sunburned, obnoxious, drunks. They had fun and came home. I’ve been to Vegas without the wife. I buy new clothes when I travel if needed and don't catch flack for going. So where does this leave things? Well, if she’s going to cheat, she will and I won’t know. It could be once, every day, three times a day, or never. She’s gone on trips with friends before. I don’t sit around wringing my hands imaging all the things that could be happening and I don’t dwell on it afterwards. I think once you’ve been married as long as we have, if the girls want to get out and play single for a few days or a week as it may only be a 4 day trip, not a week, what’s the harm. There is adventure in insecurity about the future. Thank you to the women who have posted with perspective, and the guys with the same warnings I would issue if I were so inclined.

 

OK, flame away.

[Happy Lady]

I agree with the op that this is not a big deal. I go on girls trips annually and always try to dress up and look nice. My friends and I joke that we dress up more for our girls trips then at home, mainly because we notice eachothers new outfits/looks more then our husbands do. Of course extra attention doesn't hurt either. And my husband is going to Vegas this weekends for a bachelor party. He bought new clothes, wants to look nice..that's fine with me. We've been together a long time (like the op) and have never have any infidelity issues so I'm not worried about them starting now. I completely disagree with those that say partners shouldn't take vacations without their so..it's nice to have time with just friends sometimes, it's a whole different type of vacation. If the op thinks it's fine then it's fine. It seems he posted here to confirm that these cruises are innocent. I'm sure that's not true, of course cheating happens at times, but if his wife is faithful at home then most likely she'll be faithful on vacation as well.

[silktricks]

Now I think I understand where you are coming from.

 

????????????????????????????????????????????????

[Dexter Morgan]

I agree with the op that this is not a big deal. I go on girls trips annually and always try to dress up and look nice.

 

and you also buy sexy lingerie when you go on these "no men" trips too, right?

[Dexter Morgan]

Dex, I think what the OP was trying to say is that his W wearing lingerie isn't that unusual for her, which is the point I was trying to make earlier as well. If she wears Victorias Secret everyday, more isn't a red flag to me. But if she usually wore Hanes granny panties, but brought home a mesh thong, heck yeah, that's something to be concerned about.

 

I see your point, but for her to go out and buy a bunch of sexy NEW stuff SPECIFICALLY for a trip ESPECIALLY lingerie, that DOES throw up a flag to me. that and going with single women. sounds like she wants to still act single.

 

 

I'm glad the OP cleared this up.

 

cleared what up? it obviously threw up a red flag to him, otherwise he wouldn't have posted his story here

 

sounds like he is suspicious, but just doesn't want to believe his wife is wanting to get some attention and more while 1000's of miles away from him for an entire week where she will be in party mode.

[Dexter Morgan]

So does this mean I shouldn't go on a cruise?

 

only if you aren't obsessed with your appearance and suspiciously buying things specifically for the cruise.

 

Nothing wrong with looking nice. But it does become blatantly obvious when one is really wanting to impress the opposite sex.

[rewe4reel]

So does this mean I shouldn't go on a cruise?

 

That's between you and your husband.

[Woman In Blue]

In his last post, the OP has pretty much effectively defended each and every suggestion made in this thread that just maybe his wife's intentions aren't as pure as he'd like to believe.

 

So, I don't get it.

 

OP, why post here making mention of sexy new lingerie and sexy new cocktail dresses and a "womens only" cruise if you're so sure your wife is as pure as the driven snow? Why did you post at ALL since all you're doing now is defending her? You wouldn't have created this thread if you didn't have some doubts about her intentions.

 

The word "cuckold" comes to mind....

[Krytie TV]

We apparently don't understand how unique their relationships is and how real life incidents don't occur in their bubble of fidelity. What could possibly happen in this scenario?

[califnan]

We apparently don't understand how unique their relationships is and how real life incidents don't occur in their bubble of fidelity. What could possibly happen in this scenario?

 

--------------------

 

Do you remember the title of the old 1980 movie: "The last married couple in America" ... Well I thought that was my marriage.. I never thought my husband was the type to stray.

[Jack & Coke]

Hey it's all good, do whatever suits you and your situation.

 

Personally, I like to spend as much of my free time as possible with my wife.

 

Different strokes, right?

 

 

I do also. That's why I don't see anything wrong with letting each other take trips apart from each other. We know we have each other.

[Jack & Coke]

Sorry I haven’t been able to participate in this lively discussion. I’ve been really, really busy at work this week. I should have held off on posting as I had no idea there would be this kind of response to my inquiry. With so many questions no less. Maybe I did post to the wrong listserv, or whatever this is. I feel like I posted an inquiry about working at a chocolate cupcake factory on an Atkins induction board. So, that said, no trolling here. Legitimate, but maybe misplaced inquiry. I’m not in denial. Our marriage is strong and we relate well. I think it’s interesting how people hang on to one thing or another. My wife and I have been on a couple cruises together, but not this particular one. I support her going, that hasn’t changed. And I don’t want to be a tag along. That’s lame to me. Maybe I posted in a moment of weakness and insecurity. One person’s slinky come hither dress is another’s frumpy discount store rag on a middle age woman. The lingerie seems to get people’s attention. I shouldn’t have brought that up. That’s a private matter, not inconsistent with her tastes. She doesn’t really have anything else to take, and it is a cruise, so needed new clothes and doesn’t wear tidy–whities. These are very successful women who have known each other forever and are celebrating an event. I think jumping to the conclusion that cheating is inevitable or the purpose of the trip is more a statement of opinion than anything based on reality. Although it could happen, I acknowledge that fact. Frankly, I think the draconian lie detectors tests and divorce papers are a way over the top. Interesting the women who posted anything hinting at understanding seemed to get ignored. A female friend of mine just did this with a group of her girl friends. She too is married with kids. I asked her about her trip today. They had a blast. There were a lot more women than men. The night life was very lame and for the most part dead. They did get hit on, by laughable, overly sunburned, obnoxious, drunks. They had fun and came home. I’ve been to Vegas without the wife. I buy new clothes when I travel if needed and don't catch flack for going. So where does this leave things? Well, if she’s going to cheat, she will and I won’t know. It could be once, every day, three times a day, or never. She’s gone on trips with friends before. I don’t sit around wringing my hands imaging all the things that could be happening and I don’t dwell on it afterwards. I think once you’ve been married as long as we have, if the girls want to get out and play single for a few days or a week as it may only be a 4 day trip, not a week, what’s the harm. There is adventure in insecurity about the future. Thank you to the women who have posted with perspective, and the guys with the same warnings I would issue if I were so inclined.

 

OK, flame away.

 

 

I agree, it's a non-issue. And I'm a guy lol.

[Toodamnpragmatic]

I agree, it's a non-issue. And I'm a guy lol.

 

Just wish he hadn't brought up the lingerie.....

 

My wife does a number of trips with friends (almost all single) and everytime the only reason she is in a bad mood when she gets back is telling me about all the lecherous men she has to put up with....

[Tea]

I'm a happily married female. I trust my husband 100%. He trusts me 100% to the point where a few months ago I felt I was missing some attention, but that's neither here nor there, just a wrinkle.

 

It sounds like you are in a trusting relationship like I am. I have to travel for work and buy new clothes for whatever the occasion. I usually buy lingerie along with it just because it looks better with the new dress, shirt, etc and it's just easier to get it all figured out without wondering if my current undergarments will look okay with the new outfit. For example, a bra that the dress fits perfectly over and still be classy, yet a little sexy, is easier bought and thought of while shopping.

 

I always joke that I don't like or appreciate the attention I get because I'm sort of a "guy's gal" and don't have the "desperate" look my husband points out a lot of women have. I just get a little chummy thinking my wedding ring is enough of a cock block when I'm out. I still get hit on quite often, but pay it no mind. However, being completely honest here, when you're with your girlfriends and they are single, available, and have the "desperate" look trying to draw men in, as the married "frumpy" person, it is STILL a slight blow to the ego when you're used to getting attention without wanting attention. What happens then? You sit alone in a dark corner? Hang out with the sleeze-balls looking for the ONS with your single girlfriends? Get the pity "married frumpy girl" drink?

 

I read a lot of people saying that if she only has eyes for you then why does she want the attention. I can say that there is a difference between not wanting attention and not getting attention you've always gotten. Aging is hard for women. Are we suddenly not attractive? Should we feel this way simply because only have eyes for our husbands?

 

So, let her rock her body in sexy clothes. If you trust her and have trusted her, not wanting to be the frumpy married lady is not such a bad thing. I'm hoping and assuming she sets her boundaries as clearly as I set mine. Besides, feeling good about yourself and knowing there are other options makes it that much sweeter to come home to the man that moved mountains to be with you, swept you off your feet enough to marry you, and has kept you happy for so many years.

[Owl]

I guess I don't get it either.

 

You posted here to see if your concerns made sense.

 

You got a massive list of responses back telling you that there were reasons for you to be concerned.

 

You come back and tell everyone who took the time to tell you this that they're wrong, they don't know your wife, yada yada yada.

 

What was the point of posting here at all then?

[Jack & Coke]

Just wish he hadn't brought up the lingerie.....

 

My wife does a number of trips with friends (almost all single) and everytime the only reason she is in a bad mood when she gets back is telling me about all the lecherous men she has to put up with....

 

 

Same here!

[califnan]

Just wish he hadn't brought up the lingerie.....

 

My wife does a number of trips with friends (almost all single) and everytime the only reason she is in a bad mood when she gets back is telling me about all the lecherous men she has to put up with....

 

---------------------

 

Did she wear sexy revealing (come hither) clothing for them.

[NoIDidn't]

I have to say that I read through this entire thread and I don't get all the warnings the OP was being given.

 

I actually encourage my H to take trips with his friends without me. He does the same with me.

 

And he knows my lingerie preference is definitely sexy and not frompy. Why would I change it just for a trip? Plus, buying new stuff is not an indication of a woman planning to cheat. It means she doesn't want to end up in an emergency situation where they have to disrobe her and she's wearing the old ratty stuff she should have left at home.

 

Mom always told me to leave home in clean underwear. This is one of those cases where you want to leave a good impression, even if unconscious while it is being made.

 

If I were to go on a cruise with my girlfriends (I am next year), I'm sure my H expects me to flirt. Its what I do. Even when he's nearby. My personality is just fliratious, within limits.

 

I think the OP appreciates the warnings and wasn't saying "You don't know my W". Just saying that he may have given the wrong impression initially. It happens.

 

I see nothing wrong with the W, her lingerie, or the trip with the friends. A case of different strokes, for different folks, I guess.

[Gman95670]

Sorry I haven’t been able to participate in this lively discussion. I’ve been really, really busy at work this week. I should have held off on posting as I had no idea there would be this kind of response to my inquiry. With so many questions no less. Maybe I did post to the wrong listserv, or whatever this is. I feel like I posted an inquiry about working at a chocolate cupcake factory on an Atkins induction board. So, that said, no trolling here. Legitimate, but maybe misplaced inquiry. I’m not in denial. Our marriage is strong and we relate well. I think it’s interesting how people hang on to one thing or another. My wife and I have been on a couple cruises together, but not this particular one. I support her going, that hasn’t changed. And I don’t want to be a tag along. That’s lame to me. Maybe I posted in a moment of weakness and insecurity. One person’s slinky come hither dress is another’s frumpy discount store rag on a middle age woman. The lingerie seems to get people’s attention. I shouldn’t have brought that up. That’s a private matter, not inconsistent with her tastes. She doesn’t really have anything else to take, and it is a cruise, so needed new clothes and doesn’t wear tidy–whities. These are very successful women who have known each other forever and are celebrating an event. I think jumping to the conclusion that cheating is inevitable or the purpose of the trip is more a statement of opinion than anything based on reality. Although it could happen, I acknowledge that fact. Frankly, I think the draconian lie detectors tests and divorce papers are a way over the top. Interesting the women who posted anything hinting at understanding seemed to get ignored. A female friend of mine just did this with a group of her girl friends. She too is married with kids. I asked her about her trip today. They had a blast. There were a lot more women than men. The night life was very lame and for the most part dead. They did get hit on, by laughable, overly sunburned, obnoxious, drunks. They had fun and came home. I’ve been to Vegas without the wife. I buy new clothes when I travel if needed and don't catch flack for going. So where does this leave things? Well, if she’s going to cheat, she will and I won’t know. It could be once, every day, three times a day, or never. She’s gone on trips with friends before. I don’t sit around wringing my hands imaging all the things that could be happening and I don’t dwell on it afterwards. I think once you’ve been married as long as we have, if the girls want to get out and play single for a few days or a week as it may only be a 4 day trip, not a week, what’s the harm. There is adventure in insecurity about the future. Thank you to the women who have posted with perspective, and the guys with the same warnings I would issue if I were so inclined.

 

OK, flame away.

 

No flames here, just a silly grin on my face. It's not my wife going on the cruise, it's yours. So, if sharing your wife floats your boat... good luck with that.

[Happy Lady]

and you also buy sexy lingerie when you go on these "no men" trips too, right?

 

 

Got me there, no I don't. But I'm not much of a lingerie person.

[Dexter Morgan]

Ok good, because there's definitely only one member of the opposite sex that I care to impress.

I'll be sure to pick up some granny panties before I go.

 

surely you can see the difference between thinking you have to have granny panties, and going WAY out of her way to buy an all new sexy wardrobe for a 7 day getaway from her husband with single women on a cruise as the OP's wife is doing?

 

Its one thing to buy nice clothes, look nice, no you don't have to buy granny panties....but then again, who is she buying the lingerie for specifically for this trip?

 

And if someone says, "she is probably buying it to lounge around by herself in the evening to feel good about herself".....sorry, gotta call BS on that one.