pedro1 Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 People on here should no alittle about my story, if you don't here's alitte bit. Wife came home one night told me the "no love" story. I went thru all the emotions and the wrong things to do. STBX told me she was moving out to her moms, I was going to live at home and fix the house to sell (in middle of remodel), share kids 50/50. When the house was sold we would file for divorce. She never asked me my thoughts about what I wanted, now after hearing about her going out with guys and she has a boyfriend now. Should I call up my lawyer and file without waiting for the house to sell? I am going to try to keep it as it was mine before we got married. Im doing NC right now if it doesn't include talking about the kids, and she hates it, she wants us to be friends and can't understand wy I can't move on. So what do you think LSs should I go file and start working on my life ahead? or should I wait and see how much I have to buy her out of the house then file? I still have feelings fir the old her, but she has turned evil.
mark982 Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 why on earth would you split proceds of a sell of a house that you owned BEFORE you go married? you gotta see a lawyer and get thing right,she's looking for free money.
Ronni_W Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 should I go file and start working on my life ahead? or should I wait and see how much I have to buy her out of the house then file? I still have feelings fir the old her, but she has turned evil. Like Mark says: You DEFINITELY need some immediate professional legal opinions/advice about your individual situation, rights and obligations...from a real lawyer, not out of a book or from the internet. A "wait and see" approach might just put you too far behind the 8-ball to ever catch up. You do need to protect your heart, your mind and your finances, cos you will still have those kids to support -- emotionally, mentally...and financially. At this point, you gotta be doing what is in your and your kids' long-term best interest. Best of luck.
dgiirl Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 why on earth would you split proceds of a sell of a house that you owned BEFORE you go married? you gotta see a lawyer and get thing right,she's looking for free money. Where I live, irregardless of who bought the house, the marital home is part of the marital assets and are divided 50/50. It's the only asset that doesnt take into consideration prior ownership. (Unless of course you have a pre-nup over the house) OP, I think it's in your best interest to speak to a lawyer and at least know your rights. First and foremost, you need to protect yourself financially. That might mean closing all joint bank accounts and credit cards and moving your assets into your own name until you can settle the divorce. At the very least, document what each of you own and owe and make sure she doesnt go on a spending spree on your dime!
Author pedro1 Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 I should of made it clearer that when I bought the house,we where dating and she has always paid half the payment. I was mostly needing help on deciding on me filing now or wait tell later. She is never coming back but I did say I would file with her without lawyers after we split money and property 50/50 but that was when I wanted her back. Now I just want to get on with my life but it would be going against my word, but she was the one that walked out on her wedding vows.
phineas Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 what is in the best interest of your kids? To remain in the home they were born in or living in mommies latest apartment? if you can afford the home & renovations & child support, hey man it was your home. Don't let some cheater take it from you. Im in the same situation. except she wasn't taking my home from me, See a lawyer. You think her word means anything? Just wait & see how that 50/50 turns into full custody for her when she finds out how much child support she can bilk out of you. giving her a sweet deal. she bails on her family & gets a nice cash settlement to boot.
dgiirl Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I should of made it clearer that when I bought the house,we where dating and she has always paid half the payment. I was mostly needing help on deciding on me filing now or wait tell later. She is never coming back but I did say I would file with her without lawyers after we split money and property 50/50 but that was when I wanted her back. Now I just want to get on with my life but it would be going against my word, but she was the one that walked out on her wedding vows. Whether you file together or not, it is still in your best interest to know your rights and what you are entitled too. Most lawyers offer an initial consultation for free. Talk to a few lawyers over the phone and listen to what they say. You do not have to hire the first lawyer you talk to, nor do you have to hire any lawyer. But for peace of mind, find out what your rights are. After you find out your rights, then why not talk to her and tell her you want to start the divorce proceedings? Tell her you changed your mind, sitting in limbo is not productive for you and you want to start the divorce. Be careful about filing the divorce together with one lawyer. Make sure that whatever you two agree too is in your best interest and that you can honestly live with the decision. I'm not saying you can't file together. But make sure you have some legal consultation just for yourself to know if you're getting screwed. My ex wanted us to file together too. And laid a HUGE guilt trip when I got sick of being in limbo and decided to file. He also wanted to screw me out of what I was asking for and legally entitled too, 50/50. He seemed to believe that I wasnt even entitled to 50/50 because he made more money than I (not by much, and I made more than him in the beginning, and he used my money to help him with his career). The jerk told all our friends that despite him wanting to leave, he would do what is right and make sure I was taken care off, yet, he wanted to screw me out of 50/50. So be careful.
Ronni_W Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I was mostly needing help on deciding on me filing now or wait tell later. ...but I did say I would file with her without lawyers ... it would be going against my word Pedro, you made that promise (to file jointly and without lawyers) during a very emotionally difficult, upsetting and stressful time -- from your heart instead of your head. That is not the way to make wise, well-thought out decisions, as I'm sure you know. It is perfectly fine to make a new decision that comes from a calmer and more rational mind. If your mind can find good reason(s) to delay filing...then go with that. But if you can't think of any good/smart reason why you should not just go ahead...then give yourself permission to file and start the process of getting on with the rest of your life.
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Just like she had a right to change her mind and start screwing other men. You have a right to change your mind and screw her over the house. Why should you sell it. it is your home. pay her half and cancel this chick! File for divorce with your own lawyers and see her in mediation. Give her back all her stuff, better yet put her things in storage and hand her the key. The time for diplomacy is dead. You've been putting up with her crap for too long. she isnt your wife anymore, look at her like an adversary. with not your best interests in mind. She wants to be friends? Tell her friends dont screw over other friends and break promises when married to them. No thanks. Be friends with the men she's screwing, she's good at that. Time to move on. dont have anymore conversations with her. if it aint about the kids be a ghost.
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