bentnotbroken Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 i really didint want this to happen all i wanted to be was a friend. she told me that exact same thing before i could tell her. i didint want to feel this way,i didn't want to get in the way of her marriage. but i think god made these feelings resurface in our hearts for a reason You know free will and all. God does not put married people in relationships with someone other than their spouses. Call it what it is in your head it's "love". According to His word, it's lust.
Author Onix Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 You know free will and all. God does not put married people in relationships with someone other than their spouses. Call it what it is in your head it's "love". According to His word, it's lust. it can't be i can feel it i just think of her happiness and i know she isint happy with him
4everloveu Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 There a door that she can step out if she isn't happy in her M.
stillafool Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 If they are Christians, does she not recognize adultery as one of the commandments? This is what I don't understand. She couldn't be too religious or she wouldn't be sneaking around with you.
stillafool Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 he told her he was never happy with her and they where about to get the papers and has she told him she is in love with you? If she did perhaps her h would be happy to give her a divorce so the two of you can be together. What is holding her back from being truthful with her husband?
Author Onix Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 and has she told him she is in love with you? If she did perhaps her h would be happy to give her a divorce so the two of you can be together. What is holding her back from being truthful with her husband? she has told him that she hates him she tells him that she wishis that she was with me i honestly dont know why they are still together. he's even cheated on her many times
fooled once Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 she is very a very religious woman so im thinking she got easily manipulated into thinking that she was the one with the problem and she had to change and since her husband wont let her talk to anyone that isin't from his family she only has the guidance from his family. the times we've snuck out to see each other ive taken her to her family and her family tells her to break off that marriage.she goes determined to end it but when she goes back to the house and her opinion changes once again Like the others said, she obviously isn't "so religious" that she had no problems breaking a commandment. She is loving the attention from you. Can't you see that? If she was unhappy in her marriage, she would divorce. Please don't say her religion doesn't support that ... because she is already blowing off her religion to have an affair. Christian religion isn't so uptight that they would frown on a divorce. That is Catholic (and I can say that as I am a divorced Catholic). You only know what she chooses to tell you -- and I highly doubt you would have jumped into an affair with her if she told you how much she loves her husband and craves making love to him. You do NOT know what goes on in their marriage as you are not a party to their marriage. All you have is heresay. So just because they claimed it was demons possessing her it makes her infidelity now somehow "ok"?????? I'd agree that they sound like a bunch of whackdoodles...but none of that makes her having an affair with the OP morally sound just because of that. I don't know that she's "oppressed" as much as she's simply weak-minded and not willing to accept responsibility for her actions. Has it occurred to anyone that perhaps the reason her H left her four times in the last month was because he knew she was cheating and he didn't want to do something stupid to hurt her or anyone else? He may be an idiot, don't take me wrong. But it's hard to tell from the little that's been posted, and given that he knows about the affair, it's hardly surprising he's acting the fool at the moment at least. Here's my thoughts for the OP. You can't rescue her. You can't be her 'knight in shining armour'. She has to rescue HERSELF. Time to go. End the affair, and let her know that if she's ever divorced and decides to explore the possibility of a relationship with you THEN, you'd consider it. But given that she's currently married, the relationship you're building with her now has to end. Just because the families involved are all nuts doesn't mean that cheating with you is somehow now justified. If she wants change...let her MAKE the change herself. THEN see where things lead. As usual, Owl is spot on!!
pureinheart Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Just out of curiousity is there anyone that posted on this thread that hasn't broken one of the Commandments? Ever? If there is, I want to shake your perfect hand.
bentnotbroken Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Just out of curiousity is there anyone that posted on this thread that hasn't broken one of the Commandments? Ever? If there is, I want to shake your perfect hand. What's your point Pure? We all have sinned. Because that is the case does not mean you can't call wrong when you see it. You can't raise the Christian flag and say but.....He brought up the fact she was a Christian. I asked if she believed in the commandments because her continued cheating is in direct contradiction to what she says she believes. If it isn't to be discussed then it shouldn't have been introduced into the thread.
fooled once Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Just out of curiousity is there anyone that posted on this thread that hasn't broken one of the Commandments? Ever? If there is, I want to shake your perfect hand. Really? When I was married, no, I never broke one of the commandments. I think your comment is very snarky and uncalled for. No one said they were perfect. Why is that the common line thrown out when someone doesn't like the opinions of others? If you aren't happy with the way the thread is going, then skip it. But the OP opened the door about religion, and many of us who have faith have responded.
pureinheart Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 i really didint want this to happen all i wanted to be was a friend. she told me that exact same thing before i could tell her. i didint want to feel this way,i didn't want to get in the way of her marriage. but i think god made these feelings resurface in our hearts for a reason I can't say yeah or neah on what I have bolded as that is between you and God, although I can tell you that I understand completely where you are coming from. It's the intent of the heart that is important. God is re-aligning and putting the right people together, that I know for sure...pulling apart what is not of Him and putting together what is.
pureinheart Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Really? When I was married, no, I never broke one of the commandments. I think your comment is very snarky and uncalled for. No one said they were perfect. Why is that the common line thrown out when someone doesn't like the opinions of others? If you aren't happy with the way the thread is going, then skip it. But the OP opened the door about religion, and many of us who have faith have responded. Tell me, why is that?
fooled once Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I have no idea, that is why I asked. *shrug* Honestly, I don't really care....I don't want to THREAD JACK this anymore than you have already done.
pureinheart Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Really? When I was married, no, I never broke one of the commandments. I think your comment is very snarky and uncalled for. No one said they were perfect. Why is that the common line thrown out when someone doesn't like the opinions of others? If you aren't happy with the way the thread is going, then skip it. But the OP opened the door about religion, and many of us who have faith have responded. FTR, you did say that you were better/perfect...saying that she can't be that religious is saying you know her heart...
pureinheart Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 What's your point Pure? We all have sinned. Because that is the case does not mean you can't call wrong when you see it. You can't raise the Christian flag and say but.....He brought up the fact she was a Christian. I asked if she believed in the commandments because her continued cheating is in direct contradiction to what she says she believes. If it isn't to be discussed then it shouldn't have been introduced into the thread. Thank you...in bold is my point.
bentnotbroken Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 FTR, you did say that you were better/perfect...saying that she can't be that religious is saying you know her heart... Maybe that's part of her problem. She is religious instead of cultivating a relationship with God. Religion does not equal a relationship. There are more than a few people who claim religion (molesting priests, Jim Bakker, David Karesh, Jim Jones ...yes, these are extreme examples)and who's actions say they wouldn't know God if they feel over Him and He had God tattooed on his forehead.
Author Onix Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 Thank you my lord my savior for blessing me with ur everlasting love... for now i am free and i never felt much joy and love ..in ur name my father all i can say is I LOVE YOU! she wrote that a while ago thinking thing right now im happy she returned to god's grace even though i wish i was at her side.i know it's not my place right now and i complicated things for her in a time of crisis and confusion for her even though my intentions were good..... but the fact of the matter is i still love her with all my heart but i guess ill have to hide my feelings until the time is right if it ever comes
pureinheart Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Thank you my lord my savior for blessing me with ur everlasting love... for now i am free and i never felt much joy and love ..in ur name my father all i can say is I LOVE YOU! she wrote that a while ago thinking thing right now im happy she returned to god's grace even though i wish i was at her side.i know it's not my place right now and i complicated things for her in a time of crisis and confusion for her even though my intentions were good..... but the fact of the matter is i still love her with all my heart but i guess ill have to hide my feelings until the time is right if it ever comes Awwww ((((hugs Onix)))))...everythings gonna be ok...please keep posting...even if it's just to say hi....k...
Owl Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Thank you my lord my savior for blessing me with ur everlasting love... for now i am free and i never felt much joy and love ..in ur name my father all i can say is I LOVE YOU! she wrote that a while ago thinking thing right now im happy she returned to god's grace even though i wish i was at her side.i know it's not my place right now and i complicated things for her in a time of crisis and confusion for her even though my intentions were good..... but the fact of the matter is i still love her with all my heart but i guess ill have to hide my feelings until the time is right if it ever comes Here's your problem. Hiding your feelings solves nothing. It doesn't set the stage for healing. What you need to do is to remove yourself from the situation. You've crossed a line with her...there's no going back to being "just friends" anymore. That friendship will never be the same, nor will it be trusted by her H. She's made her choice...she's staying with her H. What you need to do is to move on with your life. Heal, and eventually find someone who IS free to be with you. Start doing things for you. Taking care of yourself. End contact with her, her family, etc... Focus on YOUR healing now, and let her focus on her own life.
stillafool Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 she has told him that she hates him she tells him that she wishis that she was with me i honestly dont know why they are still together. he's even cheated on her many times I don't think she is being honest with you about her true feelings for her husband. She obviously loves him very much to put up with his cheating, he doesn't care what she does, you love her and she says she loves you, but continues to stay with a man who doesn't love her. Does that make sense to you? Like Owl said you need to move on and heal. You sound like a very nice man and there is a woman somewhere who would cherish you.
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