I just dont know anymore

[Onix]

im in love with a married woman the thing is that we've been together in the past when we where younger. it's been 4 years since that and she wasn't married at that time.when it ended it didn't end bad it was just a bad situation and we chose to go our separate ways at the time but i knew she still loved me and she knew i still loved her

we didn't speak for 4 years until i saw her and started talking again and we just clicked again it's like the four years never happened,but she told me she's married but that her marriage is falling apart that her husband does not care about her

so we kept talking and she confessed that she still has strong feelings for me

and i told her the same. we've been going out in secret for a while now and i can tell you that her husband does not care about her.he has left the house 4 times in the last month. and he knows about me and her

but a couple of days ago she was in her husband's sister's house (they are very religious people and they also know what's going on) they told her that she had 3 demons inside her and that they aren't letting her be happy with her husband.they prayed for her and now supposedly she doesn't have the demons.

 

she talked to me and told me all of that yesterday but two days before that we where together and she told me she loved me that she can be herself around me that she made a big mistake getting married and when i dropped her off at her house the last thing she said was i love you

 

im positive feelings like that don't change in a day i know that she loves me the way i love her.and that she's just being manipulated but now i cant even go to her house i want to stand up and fight for the love i know is there, but im just so destroyed that i can barley find the strength to get put of bed.... i don't know what to do i cant stop thinking about her and i want to fight for her love but i don't know how

[2sure]

So she believes she was possessed by demons and that her in laws performed some kind of exorcism?

 

OK. Maybe that IS what she believes. For all I know, maybe thats what happened. On the other hand, it is possible that when confronted with family, exposure, etc....she decided that for whatever reason she wants to end the affair...and this is her story for you.

 

Its sad when you know someone's relationship is making them sad, when you sincerely feel that you are better for them. You love her, you probably are. But you cant make her decide that, that just isnt up to you.

 

The best you can do for her and for yourself is step back. Way back. You can let her know that you are waiting, you are there...but until she leaves her H...her decision is not you. it may be him, or it may be you and him. Insist it be you alone or nothing from you.

 

OR!!!! tell her you received a divine message and....

[stillafool]

It doesn't make sense to me that:

 

1) She is in love with you and you are in love with her.

2) Her husband doesn't care about her and knows of the affair but still doesn't care.

3) She let her inlaws exorcise demons from her and now she wants to stay in a marriage with a h that doesn't care about her.

 

 

It would seem that since her h doesn't want her and she loves you, you love her, she would divorce and be with you. Why didn't her inlaws do an exercise to make their brother fall back in love with her? Her story doesn't make sense. I think she wants to stay married to her husband. With everything said above, why wouldn't she leave and be with you?

[Onix]

she is very a very religious woman so im thinking she got easily manipulated into thinking that she was the one with the problem and she had to change

and since her husband wont let her talk to anyone that isin't from his family she only has the guidance from his family. the times we've snuck out to see each other ive taken her to her family and her family tells her to break off that marriage.she goes determined to end it but when she goes back to the house and her opinion changes once again

[bittersweet memories]

im in love with a married woman the thing is that we've been together in the past when we where younger. it's been 4 years since that and she wasn't married at that time.when it ended it didn't end bad it was just a bad situation and we chose to go our separate ways at the time but i knew she still loved me and she knew i still loved her

we didn't speak for 4 years until i saw her and started talking again and we just clicked again it's like the four years never happened,but she told me she's married but that her marriage is falling apart that her husband does not care about her

so we kept talking and she confessed that she still has strong feelings for me

and i told her the same. we've been going out in secret for a while now and i can tell you that her husband does not care about her.he has left the house 4 times in the last month. and he knows about me and her

but a couple of days ago she was in her husband's sister's house (they are very religious people and they also know what's going on) they told her that she had 3 demons inside her and that they aren't letting her be happy with her husband.they prayed for her and now supposedly she doesn't have the demons.

 

she talked to me and told me all of that yesterday but two days before that we where together and she told me she loved me that she can be herself around me that she made a big mistake getting married and when i dropped her off at her house the last thing she said was i love you

 

im positive feelings like that don't change in a day i know that she loves me the way i love her.and that she's just being manipulated but now i cant even go to her house i want to stand up and fight for the love i know is there, but im just so destroyed that i can barley find the strength to get put of bed.... i don't know what to do i cant stop thinking about her and i want to fight for her love but i don't know how

 

Perhaps she wants to do the right thing now and work on her marriage. Just leave her alone, give her space and see what happens.

[pureinheart]

im in love with a married woman the thing is that we've been together in the past when we where younger. it's been 4 years since that and she wasn't married at that time.when it ended it didn't end bad it was just a bad situation and we chose to go our separate ways at the time but i knew she still loved me and she knew i still loved her

we didn't speak for 4 years until i saw her and started talking again and we just clicked again it's like the four years never happened,but she told me she's married but that her marriage is falling apart that her husband does not care about her

so we kept talking and she confessed that she still has strong feelings for me

and i told her the same. we've been going out in secret for a while now and i can tell you that her husband does not care about her.he has left the house 4 times in the last month. and he knows about me and her

but a couple of days ago she was in her husband's sister's house (they are very religious people and they also know what's going on) they told her that she had 3 demons inside her and that they aren't letting her be happy with her husband.they prayed for her and now supposedly she doesn't have the demons.

 

she talked to me and told me all of that yesterday but two days before that we where together and she told me she loved me that she can be herself around me that she made a big mistake getting married and when i dropped her off at her house the last thing she said was i love you

 

im positive feelings like that don't change in a day i know that she loves me the way i love her.and that she's just being manipulated but now i cant even go to her house i want to stand up and fight for the love i know is there, but im just so destroyed that i can barley find the strength to get put of bed.... i don't know what to do i cant stop thinking about her and i want to fight for her love but i don't know how

 

 

Welcome to LS Onix, and sorry it had to be under these circunstances (((hugs))).

 

Where do you stand as far as your beliefs?

 

In my belief system a believer cannot be demon possessed, although they can be oppressed.

 

Please know that my next statement is not meant to make waves with anyone, it is how I believe...if God didn't put it together in the first place the He does not recognise it. So you could be very right about the love you say the two of you share.

 

Just stand...if I were you given the circunstances, I'd lay low and see what happens.

 

I believe love will prevail, no matter which way it goes...nothing can stand in the way...NOTHING...if something does stand in the way it wasn't love to begin with or strong enough to overcome all of the obstacles.

 

Live your life...if she loves you, she knows where your at...nothing will stop her, manipulation of any sort WILL NOT stand in the way....

 

Please keep us informed, we really do care....

[pureinheart]

she is very a very religious woman so im thinking she got easily manipulated into thinking that she was the one with the problem and she had to change

and since her husband wont let her talk to anyone that isin't from his family she only has the guidance from his family. the times we've snuck out to see each other ive taken her to her family and her family tells her to break off that marriage.she goes determined to end it but when she goes back to the house and her opinion changes once again

 

Dude...this is what I sensed...control....

 

If you don't mind me asking what religion is she operating in?

[pureinheart]

she is very a very religious woman so im thinking she got easily manipulated into thinking that she was the one with the problem and she had to change

and since her husband wont let her talk to anyone that isin't from his family she only has the guidance from his family. the times we've snuck out to see each other ive taken her to her family and her family tells her to break off that marriage.she goes determined to end it but when she goes back to the house and her opinion changes once again

 

This is jacked up dude, the more I think about it, ya, there are demons, but not from her...

[Onix]

Welcome to LS Onix, and sorry it had to be under these circunstances (((hugs))).

 

Where do you stand as far as your beliefs?

 

In my belief system a believer cannot be demon possessed, although they can be oppressed.

 

Please know that my next statement is not meant to make waves with anyone, it is how I believe...if God didn't put it together in the first place the He does not recognise it. So you could be very right about the love you say the two of you share.

 

Just stand...if I were you given the circunstances, I'd lay low and see what happens.

 

I believe love will prevail, no matter which way it goes...nothing can stand in the way...NOTHING...if something does stand in the way it wasn't love to begin with or strong enough to overcome all of the obstacles.

 

Live your life...if she loves you, she knows where your at...nothing will stop her, manipulation of any sort WILL NOT stand in the way....

 

Please keep us informed, we really do care....

Thank you this gives me a better peace of mind i let her go 4 years ago she came back but i guess ill give it time.

[Onix]

Dude...this is what I sensed...control....

 

If you don't mind me asking what religion is she operating in?

she's a christian

 

he's constantly putting her down when she tries to improve herself and makes her think that everything is her fault

[pureinheart]

she's a christian

 

he's constantly putting her down when she tries to improve herself and makes her think that everything is her fault

 

Is he Christian too?????

[Onix]

Is he Christian too?????

yes,so is his family

[bentnotbroken]

If they are Christians, does she not recognize adultery as one of the commandments?

[pureinheart]

yes,so is his family

 

Where do you stand...sorry, I should have asked this earlier. The reason I asked this, and so many other questions is you can lean a lot about where a person is at on this alone, it tells much about a person.

 

The church can be extremely oppressive in certain areas, their hearts can be in the right place, yet extremely controlling...so if you have this understanding of where all of these people are at, you can win no matter what.

 

Like exDM, due to the example that was laid out before him had an extreme misunderstanding of life and such and knew nothing of freedom, or freewill and lived his life very oppressed. This could be what your MW is facing...knowledge cxan break the barriors of oppression.

[Onix]

If they are Christians, does she not recognize adultery as one of the commandments?

 

yes and she feels horrible for feeling the way she does for me but she cant hold her feelings in

[Onix]

Where do you stand...sorry, I should have asked this earlier. The reason I asked this, and so many other questions is you can lean a lot about where a person is at on this alone, it tells much about a person.

 

The church can be extremely oppressive in certain areas, their hearts can be in the right place, yet extremely controlling...so if you have this understanding of where all of these people are at, you can win no matter what.

 

Like exDM, due to the example that was laid out before him had an extreme misunderstanding of life and such and knew nothing of freedom, or freewill and lived his life very oppressed. This could be what your MW is facing...knowledge cxan break the barriors of oppression.

i believe in god but i do not belong to any religion but i do pray and have faith

[bentnotbroken]

yes and she feels horrible for feeling the way she does for me but she cant hold her feelings in

 

 

Not horrible enough to leave or stop. Kind of sad don't you think?

[Owl]

So just because they claimed it was demons possessing her it makes her infidelity now somehow "ok"??????

 

I'd agree that they sound like a bunch of whackdoodles...but none of that makes her having an affair with the OP morally sound just because of that.

 

I don't know that she's "oppressed" as much as she's simply weak-minded and not willing to accept responsibility for her actions.

 

Has it occurred to anyone that perhaps the reason her H left her four times in the last month was because he knew she was cheating and he didn't want to do something stupid to hurt her or anyone else?

 

He may be an idiot, don't take me wrong. But it's hard to tell from the little that's been posted, and given that he knows about the affair, it's hardly surprising he's acting the fool at the moment at least.

 

Here's my thoughts for the OP.

 

You can't rescue her. You can't be her 'knight in shining armour'.

 

She has to rescue HERSELF.

 

Time to go. End the affair, and let her know that if she's ever divorced and decides to explore the possibility of a relationship with you THEN, you'd consider it. But given that she's currently married, the relationship you're building with her now has to end.

 

Just because the families involved are all nuts doesn't mean that cheating with you is somehow now justified.

 

If she wants change...let her MAKE the change herself. THEN see where things lead.

[bentnotbroken]

i believe in god but i do not belong to any religion but i do pray and have faith

 

 

Belief in God doesn't require you to belong to any religion, just living as he has commanded.

[bentnotbroken]

So just because they claimed it was demons possessing her it makes her infidelity now somehow "ok"??????

 

I'd agree that they sound like a bunch of whackdoodles...but none of that makes her having an affair with the OP morally sound just because of that.

 

I don't know that she's "oppressed" as much as she's simply weak-minded and not willing to accept responsibility for her actions.

 

Has it occurred to anyone that perhaps the reason her H left her four times in the last month was because he knew she was cheating and he didn't want to do something stupid to hurt her or anyone else?

 

He may be an idiot, don't take me wrong. But it's hard to tell from the little that's been posted, and given that he knows about the affair, it's hardly surprising he's acting the fool at the moment at least.

 

Here's my thoughts for the OP.

 

You can't rescue her. You can't be her 'knight in shining armour'.

 

She has to rescue HERSELF.

 

Time to go. End the affair, and let her know that if she's ever divorced and decides to explore the possibility of a relationship with you THEN, you'd consider it. But given that she's currently married, the relationship you're building with her now has to end.

 

Just because the families involved are all nuts doesn't mean that cheating with you is somehow now justified.

 

If she wants change...let her MAKE the change herself. THEN see where things lead.

 

 

Exactly...

[Onix]

So just because they claimed it was demons possessing her it makes her infidelity now somehow "ok"??????

 

I'd agree that they sound like a bunch of whackdoodles...but none of that makes her having an affair with the OP morally sound just because of that.

 

I don't know that she's "oppressed" as much as she's simply weak-minded and not willing to accept responsibility for her actions.

 

Has it occurred to anyone that perhaps the reason her H left her four times in the last month was because he knew she was cheating and he didn't want to do something stupid to hurt her or anyone else?

 

He may be an idiot, don't take me wrong. But it's hard to tell from the little that's been posted, and given that he knows about the affair, it's hardly surprising he's acting the fool at the moment at least.

 

Here's my thoughts for the OP.

 

You can't rescue her. You can't be her 'knight in shining armour'.

 

She has to rescue HERSELF.

 

Time to go. End the affair, and let her know that if she's ever divorced and decides to explore the possibility of a relationship with you THEN, you'd consider it. But given that she's currently married, the relationship you're building with her now has to end.

 

Just because the families involved are all nuts doesn't mean that cheating with you is somehow now justified.

 

If she wants change...let her MAKE the change herself. THEN see where things lead.

the problems they have where before i started talking to her again and the first three times he left we where just in friendly conversation so before me she was on the verge of divorce

[pureinheart]

i believe in god but i do not belong to any religion but i do pray and have faith

 

Cool...I needed to ask those questions in order to know what to say ...I am really led to tell you to trust God, and He will do what is best, His will will prevail! Hang in there and know that you know...you got my prayers and thoughts for the well being of the entire situation...

 

I don't belong to any denomination either and don't agree with a lot that is going down in the churches today...too controlling as your posts have communicated also (you didn't say it, but it's what is happening with your MW).

[Owl]

the problems they have where before i started talking to her again and the first three times he left we where just in friendly conversation so before me she was on the verge of divorce

 

How "on the verge of divorce"?

 

Talking to a lawyer with papers drafted?

 

Called a lawyer and made an appt?

 

Told her husband she's not happy and expected him to understand?

 

Regardless....none of this justifies the affair, nor does it change the situation. If she wants change, she makes it happen.

 

YOU cannot do so.

[Onix]

Cool...I needed to ask those questions in order to know what to say ...I am really led to tell you to trust God, and He will do what is best, His will will prevail! Hang in there and know that you know...you got my prayers and thoughts for the well being of the entire situation...

 

I don't belong to any denomination either and don't agree with a lot that is going down in the churches today...too controlling as your posts have communicated also (you didn't say it, but it's what is happening with your MW).

i really didint want this to happen all i wanted to be was a friend. she told me that exact same thing before i could tell her. i didint want to feel this way,i didn't want to get in the way of her marriage. but i think god made these feelings resurface in our hearts for a reason

[Onix]

How "on the verge of divorce"?

 

Talking to a lawyer with papers drafted?

 

Called a lawyer and made an appt?

 

Told her husband she's not happy and expected him to understand?

 

Regardless....none of this justifies the affair, nor does it change the situation. If she wants change, she makes it happen.

 

YOU cannot do so.

 

he told her he was never happy with her and they where about to get the papers