OpenGL Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 This thread is for the guys like me on here who are chronically involuntarily single. Don't you hate when your relatives ask this question? How do you handle this situation? For me, it never fails, these questions ALWAYS gets asked when I have out of town relatives come visit the family that haven't seen me in a long time. And I have a lot of family from all over the country so this happens fairly often. I haven't figured *ANY* good way to save face and to not have their opinion of me drop like a rock after I answer these questions. Just yesterday, I had some family members I haven't seen in about 3 years come in and we had a big family dinner. Now for those of you who don't know I am very "normal" and friendly/talkative so I sound like a normal person when catching up with relatives. Eventually when catching up the line of questioning goes something like this... Relative: "Wow you're already 28?? Did you finally get married yet? Kids yet?" Me: "No not yet, no kids yet either" Relative: "...oh really? Whacha waiting on? You seem like you really got yourself together! So do you have a girlfriend? I bet shes putting the pressure on you!" Me: "Oh not quite, I'm single right now" (I try to play it off as if I am just now single instead of have been single for a long time) Relative: "....oh really..." (kinda starts to have a wierded out face) From there, the subject changes, but I can tell a lot of "respect" for lack of a better term is lost. Even my mom (while listening in on the conv) kind of tilts her head down in shame and tries to interject with some "old girlfriend" story of mine to make me seem a bit more normal (she know I have problems getting girlfriends but just doesn't know the extent of it). Any of you other guys go through similar stuff? I'm getting really sick of this crap. It happens way to often.
USMCHokie Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I've never been asked about this by anyone in my extended family... And I've been more or less single for all but six months in my 26 years.
Author OpenGL Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 I've never been asked about this by anyone in my extended family... And I've been more or less single for all but six months in my 26 years. Do you see them all the time? That's probably the difference. I think it's a common question for family who sees you every 4-5 years.
USMCHokie Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 Do you see them all the time? That's probably the difference. I think it's a common question for family who sees you every 4-5 years. Might see them once or twice a year...some longer than that. But you raise a good point, it's a pretty common question, especially at your age.
crimsonmike Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 This thread is for the guys like me on here who are chronically involuntarily single. Don't you hate when your relatives ask this question? How do you handle this situation? For me, it never fails, these questions ALWAYS gets asked when I have out of town relatives come visit the family that haven't seen me in a long time. And I have a lot of family from all over the country so this happens fairly often. I haven't figured *ANY* good way to save face and to not have their opinion of me drop like a rock after I answer these questions. Just yesterday, I had some family members I haven't seen in about 3 years come in and we had a big family dinner. Now for those of you who don't know I am very "normal" and friendly/talkative so I sound like a normal person when catching up with relatives. Eventually when catching up the line of questioning goes something like this... Relative: "Wow you're already 28?? Did you finally get married yet? Kids yet?" Me: "No not yet, no kids yet either" Relative: "...oh really? Whacha waiting on? You seem like you really got yourself together! So do you have a girlfriend? I bet shes putting the pressure on you!" Me: "Oh not quite, I'm single right now" (I try to play it off as if I am just now single instead of have been single for a long time) Relative: "....oh really..." (kinda starts to have a wierded out face) From there, the subject changes, but I can tell a lot of "respect" for lack of a better term is lost. Even my mom (while listening in on the conv) kind of tilts her head down in shame and tries to interject with some "old girlfriend" story of mine to make me seem a bit more normal (she know I have problems getting girlfriends but just doesn't know the extent of it). Any of you other guys go through similar stuff? I'm getting really sick of this crap. It happens way to often. Mine don't ask me. If they do, I tell I like to swap up every few weeks. Grandma loved that so much she never asked again.
electricity Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I've been asked that since I graduated college. If they're not really close, I tell them I'm not in anything serious even if I am in a relationship. It's easier than telling them all about my personal life. IMO, it's none of their business and I just change the topic to my career plans or their kids (people love talking about their kids). Depending on the personalities of your relatives, you could even ask them to set you up. Jokingly say you haven't found anyone special enough, do they know anyone good? You never know if a cousin may have a cute friend or something. I have one cool aunt I'd joke about that with; the others aren't as appropriate, so use your judgment.
Serenitynow Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 No one in my family asks me because I have never been the type to openly talk about my personal life. I despise generalized fake chit chat anyways between people. 99% of the time they just ask just to ask, its not like they really care. No more care than when you go to a store and the register girl asks how you doing.
Confusedalways Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I'm a girl and EVERYONE asks me this ALL the time at family gatherings. I don't get it. Even close family who I see often, and I explain that I'm not seeing anyone. They feel like they have to help me out, I think often they'll be like "oh, well you're probably too busy for that anyway...." Awkward.
Shakz Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I know exactly what you're going through, GL, only I'm 48 and have had to put up with it for decades. Nothing you say is going to satisfy them except "I'm engaged." At some point most quit asking, but not mom, of course. She's worried about my immortal soul. I come from a traditional Catholic family, so many of them think any lifestyle that doesn't include getting married and having kids, or becoming a religious, is inherently sinful. Maybe they think that way because they assume I'm promiscuous or gay, or maybe it's because I don't drink, smoke, or cheat on my spouse like they all do. Hypocrites (not mom, she just wants more grandkids)!
phineas Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I got married. Have kids. She cheated. Been seperated a yr. Now nobody asks me anything. LOL! Except my sister. I tell her i'll probably date when i've managed to dig myself out of the financial pit the STBXW left me in. Or 2015. whichever comes first. LOL!
Author OpenGL Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 I got married. Have kids. She cheated. Been seperated a yr. Now nobody asks me anything. LOL! Except my sister. I tell her i'll probably date when i've managed to dig myself out of the financial pit the STBXW left me in. Or 2015. whichever comes first. LOL! She take half your stuff?
TouchedByViolet Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I got married. Have kids. She cheated. Been seperated a yr. Now nobody asks me anything. LOL! Except my sister. I tell her i'll probably date when i've managed to dig myself out of the financial pit the STBXW left me in. Or 2015. whichever comes first. LOL! :lmao: hilarious phineas
phineas Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 She take half your stuff? The only stuff she took was her own & half the wedding gifts. Which was most of the living room & dining room furniture. However I got better furniture for free off craigs list. she did leave me with all the debt. Not only do I get to keep the 2nd mortgage I took out to pay for the wedding & honneymoon, I get to declare bankruptsy & pay her %80 of my disposable income for child support. If it wern't for craigs list I wouldn't have a pot to piss in. But, on the plus side, most women I meet who own a house are in the same boat & don't mind cooking dinner together & watching a DVD, or going for walk, ice-cream, rollerblading ect so it's all good. I just picked up a used fire-pit dirt cheap for my back yard. Chicks love that stuff.
Crazy Magnet Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I get hounded with the "when are you going to get married and have kids" all the time. It comes from my family, from (now) my boyfriend's family, and even completely random strangers. Apparently 30 is the kiss of death for getting married and procreating as a woman, but I missed that memo. My typical line is "There are too many hotties in this world to pick just ONE!" Everyone shuts up after that. Sort of like who ever says they switch every few weeks. It's the answer everybody wishes they could say. Who cares if it's true or not. Now that I'm IN a serious relationship it's that much worse and I can't even use my line. "I've got to survive a post doc" doesn't shut anyone up they merely look at me like I'm insane for pursuing such a career as a woman. Now I dead-pan, "tonight." Nobody wants to think about that, so again, they all shut up. Oh I am evil sometimes.
SilentVoice Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I get this question all the time.well not the marriage part. i am maybe the only girl in my family who doesn't introduce guys to the family.half of them think i am gay anyway.... i rather just let them think. the guy who i introduce to the family better be ready because their are crazy.i see my family about once or twice a year.
Cracker Jack Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 My family often asks me this question, too. The bad part is when I tell them "I don't have anyone", because then it turns into questions on "why not?" and other annoying things. Oh, well.
brokenblade Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 This thread is for the guys like me on here who are chronically involuntarily single. Don't you hate when your relatives ask this question? How do you handle this situation? For me, it never fails, these questions ALWAYS gets asked when I have out of town relatives come visit the family that haven't seen me in a long time. And I have a lot of family from all over the country so this happens fairly often. I haven't figured *ANY* good way to save face and to not have their opinion of me drop like a rock after I answer these questions. Just yesterday, I had some family members I haven't seen in about 3 years come in and we had a big family dinner. Now for those of you who don't know I am very "normal" and friendly/talkative so I sound like a normal person when catching up with relatives. Eventually when catching up the line of questioning goes something like this... Relative: "Wow you're already 28?? Did you finally get married yet? Kids yet?" Me: "No not yet, no kids yet either" Relative: "...oh really? Whacha waiting on? You seem like you really got yourself together! So do you have a girlfriend? I bet shes putting the pressure on you!" Me: "Oh not quite, I'm single right now" (I try to play it off as if I am just now single instead of have been single for a long time) Relative: "....oh really..." (kinda starts to have a wierded out face) From there, the subject changes, but I can tell a lot of "respect" for lack of a better term is lost. Even my mom (while listening in on the conv) kind of tilts her head down in shame and tries to interject with some "old girlfriend" story of mine to make me seem a bit more normal (she know I have problems getting girlfriends but just doesn't know the extent of it). Any of you other guys go through similar stuff? I'm getting really sick of this crap. It happens way to often. Various people ask me if I am seeing anyone. I say "no. I'm not with a woman right now, but I have split personalities so technically I'm not single."
Morals Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 Haha. You guys are cracking me up with these funny/witty responses. On a serious note, I get asked this by my grandmother everytime I hear from her. My parents stopped asking me, but my parents are ultra nosey too. If I even hint that I'm seeing someone they want to know everything about her, and the worst thing is they want me to bring her over to them ASAP. My dad (step-dad actually) thinks that he is/was a player back in the day, and my mom and step-dad actually joke that my step-dad got more P***y then the SPCA... Anyhow...I rarely visit my parents now because of these awkward conversations. It's kind of destroyed my faith in them, because everything I was taught as a child/teenager about dating is complete bull****, especially since they pretty much recanted everything they told me when I asked them one time why I had dating problems about a year ago. Sorry, kind of put a damper on the humour in this thread....carry on!
brainygirl Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 My relative tend to cringe when ever the subject of me dating comes up. My dad would like to assume I am still a virgin and my boys were concieved via immaculate conception. My track record with guys is so bad that the rest just tell me "don't date brainy" Sucks to spend your entire life living down something that happened when you were 16. I'm 28, have a good job, and take care of my business. I think to them I'm still 16.
rewe4reel Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 OP, the next time they ask, just tell 'em: "Actually, banging hookers is cheaper than getting married, in the long run."
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