supersub Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 You know I've had several relationships in my life, I have broken up, been broken up with and yet, I have never been in a situation that I find myself in today. To cut a long story short. We were together two years, she was more interested in the beginning, then after about a year I started to fall for her. After 18 months we started to argue. I felt like she was drifting. Then in December last year I said I wanted to split because I felt like I was not important to her anymore. She agreed to the split. then in late April we started reconnecting, then by mid May she said she was out and never coming back, and over nothing I may add. You know I'm fine with the fact that shes not coming back, but why does this still bother me? I just want to be past it. Its like I'm over the fact that there is no road back, but she's on my mind too often and its really getting on my nerves. Anyone else feel this way? Never had a situation like this!
Cantcope Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I am SO there with you. I realize he's no good for me. We had about 90% bad times and 10% good. He enjoyed the chace and once he had me, it was like he completely lost interest. He was a crappy friend, not even answering the door for me when my friend died and I needed him most. so WHY THE HELL can't I get him off of my mind? Granted, it's hard because I see him at work every day, and our mutual friends that didn't know about our relationship never shut up about him, but really, I KNOW that this is best. I realize that I should never look back and actually be glad that I have the chance in the future to meet someone that will love me. I just want to stop obsessing over someone that is so bad for me! We can do this....right?
Author supersub Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 Cantcope, I know we will get past it, its just that this seems to be taking an abnormal amount of time from my perspective, it just confuses me. Like you said they do things that show you without any doubt that they don't want you, and you know they don't want you and accept it. I can accept it. I just don't get why she wont get out of my cranium and if she wants to stay why I can't charge her bloody rent!
sandiego Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 Ah, believe me...I know how it is (see the new thread I just posted before reading your message). I was with my ex for 2.5 years. She wanted to get married almost the entire time I was with her. Although she was a great girl in every aspect, I just didn't feel the spark...we didn't click the way I feel is important. I sort of new a breakup was inevitable, and truth be told, felt I'd move on fairly quickly. Wow, how wrong I was. She took a job out of state and broke up with me 8 months ago. We got back together for the month of Feb. LDR. Then, we fell into the same routine, I felt indifferent, she got frustrated and bolted again. It's amazing how hard it's been to just move on. I've accepted it, and much of the time know it's probably best. But I really cared about her, and maybe I'm a bit of a softy....but wow, it's been hard. I know we'll get through it......and I look forward to the day I'm finally over it for good. SD
Cantcope Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I know it will happen. My obsessive thoughts: Does he think about me? (last time we had contact 4 days ago, he said he misses me every day, but we just "don't work"). Why does he have so many new FB friends (we're not friends anymore on FB, but since he's not blocked, I can see his friends). Is he just looking for someone else to occupy his time so he can forget me? Did the last conversation before NC go well? I'm always in fear that if I don't end thinkgs on a positive note, he will harbor ill feelings of me and never "realize what he's missing". Will he ever contact me again realizing he made a mistake (this one kills me. HE'S NO GOOD FOR ME! Why do I want this)? Racing thoughts from when I wake up until I pass out. I too would like to charge rent. I'm sure he misses me, but it makes me feel that since he was able to let go and I can't, that I must have been a pretty s*itty girlfriend!
Author supersub Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 Thanks for your responses guys, You know maybe our ex's are like these inbetweener's, can't live with em, can't live without them types. Thanks Diego for your thoughts.. Sorry that she's on your mind. You'll pull through. Cantcope, About FB, you are looking at the quantity of his friends, but think honestly about the quality. They will try to fill the void with anyone possible to make it look like they are moving forward. I will tell you though, we are all irreplaceable really. There is no one else like us, we are unique. I also think you should stop looking because it only serves to set you back. I actually deleted my FB account recently. FB is a great idea, but good grief if you go through a breakup? It is played out in a virtual arena and its just not natural, certainly not to me. Supposed mutual Friends pick her side and never talk to you again the same way, but want to stay friends on FB. Their family members still post to your wall??! Give me a break!! You may as well just impale yourself on some railings because that's about all FB does for your self esteem after a break up. I know if I do ever get back on there (which is unlikely at this point), I will never post 'in a relationship' etc. Good grief, wind the clock back a year or so, and things were so different.
chebs20 Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 Cantcope, i am in the same position, he treated me horribly but I still want to be with him, he was the one who went after me, then once he had me things cooled off and he was always hiding his phone from me and biting my head off for anything I said. He then dumped me by text saying it was all my fault because I asked if the reason he hid his phone was because he cheated. I know he is no good for me and my friends think the same but I just wish he would realise that he misses me. It annoys me that he can just move on so quickly and not care when I am a total mess inside. How can I get over this? Although I still think I would get back with him at the drop of a hat if he changed his mind - he is the love of my life :-(
wingman2 Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I feel ya sup. Although me and my ex are talking again I have no idea what her intentions are or where she's getting, I already feel like I'm over her yet it still bothers me and idk why. Personally I wouldn't take her back if she wanted me back because she hurt me so much and it isn't until now that I've realized how full of herself she was and two faced. I was possibly the best bf in the world for her yet she was so ungrateful for me and cold hearted. I'm miserable yet I feel like she's having the time of her life. Even her facebook default pic shows a really hot picture of her with a lot of make up and **** looking like she wants to grab any guy's attention. It's unlike her since she never liked make up (she looks great naturally) but now I feel like she's lost her self respect and has changed into someone else. Idk what to tell u but ur definitely not alone.
Cantcope Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Cantcope, i am in the same position, he treated me horribly but I still want to be with him, he was the one who went after me, then once he had me things cooled off and he was always hiding his phone from me and biting my head off for anything I said. He then dumped me by text saying it was all my fault because I asked if the reason he hid his phone was because he cheated. I know he is no good for me and my friends think the same but I just wish he would realise that he misses me. It annoys me that he can just move on so quickly and not care when I am a total mess inside. How can I get over this? Although I still think I would get back with him at the drop of a hat if he changed his mind - he is the love of my life :-( I hear "I Will Survive" playing somewhere. WE will get throught this. Time is on our side!
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