ToShyToTellMyNick Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I'll try to make this as short as I can. I know long posts are boring. There's this girl I like and somehow I think she likes me too, but I'm not sure... Maybe it's just me wishing it... So I'd like a way to find out without asking her directly. The main problem is the context. If I'm wrong, or someone finds out by the wrong means... that's it I'm screwed but like REALLY screwed. Also I can't give much details or someone I know could find out. Let's just say we share a common activity... It abides to certain rules, also I have a few friends there, and with some I have sort of confidence and when they bring her as a conversation subject and ask me what I think about her. I say things like "She's ugly" or "No way you could consider doing her" and I tend to treat them like pervs since she's not really that beautyful. But the truth is I like her just the way she is, so after saying all that I can't just go to her and ask like that, If get a NO I'll just have to quit doing this activity wich I couldn't... I'm no expert in body language but she smiles when we speak, though we share only a few words. Also we both stay till really late I try to find an excuse I'm not sure if she does the same... Anyway I don't get many chances to speak to her directly without being obvious. So I could use some advices. My Idea on how to proceed is something like this: - Find out more about her personality - Study her body language - Based on her body language displays, I'll make a move. The problems with my Idea are: I don't know how to find out about her since I can't really get to talk her that much. Body language... I don't know much about it so I could use some advices... Also something that happens to me when I see her I kinda get a bit "blocked" maybe I should forget about her?. Making it short: I need some advices on HOW and WHEN to proceed, and this is like really important for me so failing is not an option. Thanks for taking your time to read this, and srry about my bad english. If u don't understand something... let me know, and I'll try to explain it better.
BlkAzian Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 Be real tell her how you feel you might be suprised she might like you and dont front in front of your friends and dont rely on them for approval . It takes a real stand up guy to stand up and say hey I like her she is different and I am feeling her.... Dont take anyones advice do what makes you happy.... people give you advice and you take it everyone else will be happy and you will be miserable from taking your friends advice
Author ToShyToTellMyNick Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 There are a few problems with that: A. I don't see any way I don't know why is not like she makes me horny or something I actually like her, her eyes, her smile, her personality. B. It's really hard to find a time to talk to her about it, there's almost no way we can be alone. C. Whisper and gossip arround there is like a local sport, so if anyone else finds out I'll be in a world of **** (though I'm on a different world of **** right now).
Author ToShyToTellMyNick Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 Bump... I could really use some help here! Kinda desperately!
brokenblade Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 There are a few problems with that: A. I don't see any way I don't know why is not like she makes me horny or something I actually like her, her eyes, her smile, her personality. B. It's really hard to find a time to talk to her about it, there's almost no way we can be alone. C. Whisper and gossip arround there is like a local sport, so if anyone else finds out I'll be in a world of **** (though I'm on a different world of **** right now). Well, that's everywhere. If people like to spread stuff about you, that is more them than you. Like an above poster said, stop frontin. More likely than not, you'll gain respect if you are straight up and real about it. Don't go worriying about what other people think and say. People will think and say things about you that they want to think and say, no matter what. There is nothing you can do to change other people's minds. Look at it this way, if people want to believe bad about you, they will. It's what helps them masturbate. (speaking from experience) Don't be ashamed of who you like.
Author ToShyToTellMyNick Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 Thx for de advices, but I'm not ashamed of who I like and that might not be the real problem. The real problem is how to either give her hints (in a very subtile way). Or know if she's interested... Is not like facing a girl on a club or something. Here every action has consecuences.
Confusedalways Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 How old are you and she? Not to be harsh but-- this is kind of how I sounded in high school- always wanting to be subtle and this and that, and that got me all of no where. Being subtle DOES NOT WORK. Guessing if someone likes you, it's a headache. It's bothersome. You've got to either go for it or not- too many people spend too much time half in and half out and this is why it fails. Body language and her personality will only tell you so much. You're looking for a way to be "sure" she likes you before putting yourself out there- and there is NO WAY to know that with certainty.
legallyblonde289 Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I'll try to make this as short as I can. I know long posts are boring. There's this girl I like and somehow I think she likes me too, but I'm not sure... Maybe it's just me wishing it... So I'd like a way to find out without asking her directly. The main problem is the context. If I'm wrong, or someone finds out by the wrong means... that's it I'm screwed but like REALLY screwed. Also I can't give much details or someone I know could find out. Let's just say we share a common activity... It abides to certain rules, also I have a few friends there, and with some I have sort of confidence and when they bring her as a conversation subject and ask me what I think about her. I say things like "She's ugly" or "No way you could consider doing her" and I tend to treat them like pervs since she's not really that beautyful. But the truth is I like her just the way she is, so after saying all that I can't just go to her and ask like that, If get a NO I'll just have to quit doing this activity wich I couldn't... I'm no expert in body language but she smiles when we speak, though we share only a few words. Also we both stay till really late I try to find an excuse I'm not sure if she does the same... Anyway I don't get many chances to speak to her directly without being obvious. So I could use some advices. My Idea on how to proceed is something like this: - Find out more about her personality - Study her body language - Based on her body language displays, I'll make a move. The problems with my Idea are: I don't know how to find out about her since I can't really get to talk her that much. Body language... I don't know much about it so I could use some advices... Also something that happens to me when I see her I kinda get a bit "blocked" maybe I should forget about her?. Making it short: I need some advices on HOW and WHEN to proceed, and this is like really important for me so failing is not an option. Thanks for taking your time to read this, and srry about my bad english. If u don't understand something... let me know, and I'll try to explain it better. what i dont get is why would you tell people she's ugly and how could you even consider getting with her if you like her?
Author ToShyToTellMyNick Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 what i dont get is why would you tell people she's ugly and how could you even consider getting with her if you like her? It's not like I go arround saying she's ugly. I just say things like I wouldn't do her or stuff like that, but only if I'm asked by some1 who wouldn't actually talk to her about me or anything. Let me give you an example: I'm with a friend and we're talking about women. "Who u like? would u do that one?" etc. So when they ask me about her I say that I wouldn't. (When I say they I'm talking about 1 or 2 ppl max.) I don't know why do I do it, it's pretty stupid, though it's easy to fix, no big deal. Specially if I get to be with her, then I wouldn't give a F*** about the others. Yet my problem is how to either be sure (as much as possible) that she likes me, or how to give her some subtile hints.
harmfulsweetz Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I'm in the same position right now, and let me tell you, it's a damn headache...did he look at me? In what way? Is he smiling? What did he mean by that? It doesn't work, you end up running around in circles and by the time you've done that said person may have lost interest, assumed your disinterest, or very simply, met someone else. I'm trying to just not give hints, hints do not work, and just put myself out there. Best bet is to cut the crap, talk to her, gauge her reactions to you, and take it from there. After a couple of convos, invite her out for coffee/drinks then to a date setting. The thing is you seem so concerned over what people think and say, and you need to stop that. You will never be able to control other people, (I also need to stop it too) it's not possible, they will say what they will say, and do what they will do, think what they will think. It's of no importance to you. You're living your life for one person and one person only, yourself, and if you don't go for it, then you will regret it. If she doesn't like you back, big deal, least you had the guts to do it, and she's likely to be flattered by it. The worst thing that can happen is that she says no, or doesn't respond well to you in conversation. The best thing that can happen is that you get a date, and you could get a girlfriend. Don't take the chance, and you'll always wonder.
Author ToShyToTellMyNick Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 (edited) So I'm guessing there's no easy way of doing it. But could at least some1 with some experience tell me some indicators that se may like me? We don't get much chances to talk to each other, specially alone, so if some1 could tell me things like "If she does this, then she might like you" (Based on experience). That at least would make me more confident. Thanks to everyone! BTW we're both beetween 18 and 25. Edited June 2, 2010 by ToShyToTellMyNick
harmfulsweetz Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 So I'm guessing there's no easy way of doing it. But could at least some1 with some experience tell me some indicators that se may like me? We don't get much chances to talk to each other, specially alone, so if some1 could tell me things like "If she does this, then she might like you" (Based on experience). That at least would make me more confident. Thanks to everyone! BTW we're both beetween 18 and 25. When I like a guy, I look at him a lot. If you don't talk with her, that's all you have to go on. Try and catch her out, she may turn away and blush, she may smile shyly, but you could just talk with her, and garner her response to you. Easiest way, is always the hardest.
Author ToShyToTellMyNick Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 (edited) Well thx for the advices... I'll guess it will have to be the hard way... though I'll wait for when the time seems right. I mean we have been a bit distant lately and we never got to talk about each other except for a few occasions so I think it would be weird if I would just approach her and start talking about my feelings, right? Edited June 4, 2010 by ToShyToTellMyNick
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