I've messed things up

[mannnn]

To cut a long story short, i've been with a girl for almost 3 years now and everything was going good until i'd say after 2 year anniversary. She's such a great girl and does everything for me. i was not on track educationally, and i know she cares so much for me. Don't get me wrong I would do anything for this girl cause i know she would too. we get along so well and have many things in common. But she has a huge problem with marijuana and anyone that does it (me). I was doing it behind her back for a while then it eventually caught up and now theres absolutely no trust. i've dug myself in this hole i don't know i to get out of. I know i'om stupid but ever since the first time, shes caught me three more times ( i know stupid), and its all my fault but its also the people i hang out with that all do it too. you'd think i would just change friends but i'm a guy and i've been with these same dudes for years now so i hope you can understand where i'm coming from. i've never once cheated on her and shes never once done anything to hurt me. i just hate how i never see my friends anymore (i guess you can say i'm whipped or i try to gain trust back only to mess up again and again with small stupid lies like not telling her something), and i have talked to her about it, now its getting to the point where we might just break up because she won't budge and i don't want to lose my friends, not just for drugs (which i support strongly [and i'm not a pothead meaning i dont smoke everyday of my life, its like a once a week thing] ), but also friendship. we have been pretty much attached at the hip for the past couple of months and we have no other friends other than each other. when we're together everything is peachy, but when i go anywhere, shes with me and when we're not together we're on the phone. Am i making the right choice by letting her go? i feel like i don't deserve her but at the same time am scared to be alone.

 

ps i haven't been w/o a g/f in 7 or so years. its just been back to back to back. i'm not really proud of that

[crimsonmike]

Sounds to me like she's trying to keep you away from your dope smoking friends. You have to decide who you'd rather keep. If it were me, it sure wouldn't be my pothead friends, but that's up to you. You're lucky she didn't ditch you for lying to her about smoking dope.

[ConflictedGuy27]

If you're not trying to marry this girl than choose your buddies.

 

I did the whole joined at the hip, we were each others only friend thing and it's lame. Very lame over extended periods (years); and it sets up a situation where one person may actually be shopping to replace the other when they get sick of the other person.

 

Don't be afraid to be alone. It's not the same as being lonely after awhile.

I bet if u initiated a break she'd change her tune.

[Serenitynow]

OP you have a codependent personality. You dont know how to exist without someone at your side. You dont deserve the girl you have.

 

 

I still want to know where is the line to get these girls that look the other way after you disrepect their values multiple times ?

 

I need to learn how to be disrespectful, emotionally abusive, and lie so I can find a gf that wont ever break up with me, because being mature, respectful and smart sure isnt working.

[Mme. Chaucer]

It's pretty straightforward ... if you are not willing to GIVE UP smoking the weed (I don't mean hiding it better, I mean QUITTING), then you need to tell her the truth and either let her go or give her the chance to accept this part of you.

 

It sounds bad, choosing pot over a girl that you seem to love ... but it's a fact of life and you need to be honest about your choice with her and with yourself.

[linwood]

She`s trying to control you.

 

The symptoms you describe are classic.

 

You should think about getting single and enjoying life for awhile if you`ve never been on your own.