Shakz Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 That's interesting. So what you're saying is that, for you, physical attraction is based entirely on looks. You don't mention your relationship status but your post makes me wonder if a man who thinks this way will inevitably end up alone in later life - or at best in an unhappy relationship with a woman he finds unattractive. I'm not judging you in any way here and it may be of no concern to you at all, but I just wondered if this had ever crossed your mind? I think you're reading alot into my comment. I'm simply making a distinction between physical attractiveness and overall attractiveness. Overall, I'm attracted to 9/10 women in my age group, because of their personality, life experience, and relatability. Looks aren't a high priority, but are a bonus. With younger women the ratio is reversed. I'm physically attracted to most but overall to few. Just being honest.
janie423 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I think you're reading alot into my comment. I'm simply making a distinction between physical attractiveness and overall attractiveness. Overall, I'm attracted to 9/10 women in my age group, because of their personality, life experience, and relatability. Looks aren't a high priority, but are a bonus. With younger women the ratio is reversed. I'm physically attracted to most but overall to few. Just being honest. I enjoy your honesty. The other day I noticed a man in a department store, he was around 20 years younger than me. I couldn't take my eyes off him. And we kept running into each other. He was physically perfect to me. Our cars were even parked in tandem! He glanced at me a few times (I am in really good shape). But I knew that there was a 99% or greater chance that there would be no attraction emotionally or spiritually. But that didn't stop me from admiring him, and feeling a physical pull toward him.
She's_NotInLove_w/Me Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I enjoy your honesty. The other day I noticed a man in a department store, he was around 20 years younger than me. I couldn't take my eyes off him. And we kept running into each other. He was physically perfect to me. Our cars were even parked in tandem! He glanced at me a few times (I am in really good shape). But I knew that there was a 99% or greater chance that there would be no attraction emotionally or spiritually. But that didn't stop me from admiring him, and feeling a physical pull toward him. You know the funny thing is that 'physically perfect' guy, (beyond the fact that there is chance there is no emotional or spiritual attraction), is probably some poor wife's nightmare that a) Won’t put out and has lost his libido; or b) On the down low; or maybe c) A womanizer who beds every woman he can while is wife is taking care of the kids; worse yet d) Is emotionally abusive; or maybe just e) Addicted to porn or drugs or some other addiction. I could go on, but I think we all get the drift... Physical attraction has little to do with TRUE love and compatibility.
califnan Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 No worries, I'm divorced now, dutifully paying him alimony too.. shoveling out money is one thing we old wrinkled broads are good for:) ------------------------ With this post and the one before ... I am so so sorry.
califnan Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I understand better than most about the natural forces that are hard wired into men causing them to prefer younger women. I do wish though that Mother Nature would also see to it that old gals like me die a whole lot sooner. QUOTE] ----------------------------- NO !!
janie423 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I understand better than most about the natural forces that are hard wired into men causing them to prefer younger women. I do wish though that Mother Nature would also see to it that old gals like me die a whole lot sooner. There's nothing worse than the thought that you're going to have to live another 30 yrs or so with a husband who makes his preferences for younger woman clear along with his distaste for your aging face and body. Another poster (male) on another thread stated that the tradition of men prefering younger women stems from the historical trend of women dying earlier than men . . . That said, how can you let a man get to you like that? Get in shape, get a new hairdo, and get out there! This "hardwired" stuff is just another way to keep women down. I'm hardwired too, to go out and get what I want in life. My age doesn't inhibit me. Jeez
soserious1 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Another poster (male) on another thread stated that the tradition of men prefering younger women stems from the historical trend of women dying earlier than men . . . That said, how can you let a man get to you like that? Get in shape, get a new hairdo, and get out there! This "hardwired" stuff is just another way to keep women down. I'm hardwired too, to go out and get what I want in life. My age doesn't inhibit me. Jeez Hmmm.. I am "in shape" and have an excellent career, hard fact is though no amount of trips to the gym or hairdresser is going to make a 50 yr old woman as sexually attractive to men as a 22 yr old is.
soserious1 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 ------------------------ With this post and the one before ... I am so so sorry. Don't be "sorry" I was stupid enough to marry him now I get to pay for my error. It's quite an effective lesson I might add as I'll never make that same mistake again:)
califnan Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Hmmm.. I am "in shape" and have an excellent career, hard fact is though no amount of trips to the gym or hairdresser is going to make a 50 yr old woman as sexually attractive to men as a 22 yr old is. -------------------------- If men your age want to make it with a 22 yr old (his daughter) .. It is only for a short season.. You are still young enough to do well out there.. Do you belong to classmates.com .. and others.. ..
soserious1 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 -------------------------- If men your age want to make it with a 22 yr old (his daughter) .. It is only for a short season.. You are still young enough to do well out there.. Do you belong to classmates.com .. and others.. .. No, I'm not interested in online dating services. And of course they come back after the "short season" gotta have an old gal to cook, clean and care take for you when you get old and ill, nursing homes are expensive.
sally4sara Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I think we see more mismatched age relationships where the woman is older now because we have better ways of caring for ourselves and looking young longer. I'm 6 1/2 years older than my husband, but everyone assumes he is older. He looks older than I do. Those things factor in just enough for people to look past them and find compatibility beyond age.
janie423 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Hmmm.. I am "in shape" and have an excellent career, hard fact is though no amount of trips to the gym or hairdresser is going to make a 50 yr old woman as sexually attractive to men as a 22 yr old is. 50! Awesome!! I remember reading an article written by a youngish man who declared that he loved women in their fifties most of all. Why? Because they were beyond all the life issues that younger women are obsessed with. He listed those issues one by one and decided that women in their fifties were the most attractive to him. NOTE: This is NOT a put-down of younger women. It is really disheartening for "older" women to waste time believing that they have no value. Do older women look as good as a 22 year old. HECK NO! But that is not what it's all about.
califnan Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 No, I'm not interested in online dating services. QUOTE] ------------------ Respect your opinion totally .. I agree there is nothing to be said for trying to make a relationship out of a picture of a stranger.. But at your age, your previous classmates are divorcing ..
califnan Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I think we see more mismatched age relationships where the woman is older now because we have better ways of caring for ourselves and looking young longer. I'm 6 1/2 years older than my husband, but everyone assumes he is older. He looks older than I do. Those things factor in just enough for people to look past them and find compatibility beyond age. ----------------------- Yes, my aunt and uncle have had a long marriage - she older than he - and she has always looked younger. As I mentioned before, through going thru the singles' sights - the women hold their age better than men ..
califnan Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 50! Awesome!! I remember reading an article written by a youngish man who declared that he loved women in their fifties most of all. Why? Because they were beyond all the life issues that younger women are obsessed with. He listed those issues one by one and decided that women in their fifties were the most attractive to him. NOTE: This is NOT a put-down of younger women. It is really disheartening for "older" women to waste time believing that they have no value. Do older women look as good as a 22 year old. HECK NO! But that is not what it's all about. ---------------- Yes, at the end of the day - I think men want a woman they can Talk to .. and communicate with according to recollections of growing up in the same era ..
LittleTiger Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Hmmm.. I am "in shape" and have an excellent career, hard fact is though no amount of trips to the gym or hairdresser is going to make a 50 yr old woman as sexually attractive to men as a 22 yr old is. I'm really sorry for what's happened to you, and not just because your husband was obviously a total pr*ck!!! I always feel sad when I hear of people who have given up on relationships because of a broken marriage. There really are some wonderful men out there who are looking for a serious, long term connection with an intelligent, attractive woman of your age. I may be a woman but I know 'sexy' when I see it and I've seen plenty of middle aged women and older who are far sexier than most 22 year olds. They are just children, for goodness sake. In my opinion, there is something seriously wrong with any man over 50 who is attracted to a 22 year old! There are lots of examples of hot women over 50, but how about a less obvious one like Sally Field (you young ones may not know her - she's the Mum on Brothers & Sisters - very silly drama but anyway...)? She is 63 and she looks amazing! Maybe she's had some work done, I don't know, but where there's a will there's a way and, as many of us have already said, sex appeal has more to do with attitude than age. If you want to spend the rest of your life alone soserious then, of course, you should do that, if that's what you really want, but please don't let one idiot of a man have such a massive impact on your future.
soserious1 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 No, I'm not interested in online dating services. QUOTE] ------------------ Respect your opinion totally .. I agree there is nothing to be said for trying to make a relationship out of a picture of a stranger.. But at your age, your previous classmates are divorcing .. Yes, yes they are and many of the men are divorcing for the 2nd time or didn't have their kids till they were 40.. those kids are now teens and guess what? Daddy's gonna need BIG MONEY to pay his child support and help em thru college. Divorced men who would even consider a woman of my age first look at the purse, they want a woman who will "help out" by paying the bulk of their shared livings expenses, bonus points if a gal is well heeled enough to also chip in to help pay child support and/or help foot the bills for college. I am a divorced, alimony paying woman, there isn't enough left over to subsidize another man and I'm not interested in becoming a step-mother with the obligations that entails.
soserious1 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I'm really sorry for what's happened to you, and not just because your husband was obviously a total pr*ck!!! I always feel sad when I hear of people who have given up on relationships because of a broken marriage. There really are some wonderful men out there who are looking for a serious, long term connection with an intelligent, attractive woman of your age. I may be a woman but I know 'sexy' when I see it and I've seen plenty of middle aged women and older who are far sexier than most 22 year olds. They are just children, for goodness sake. In my opinion, there is something seriously wrong with any man over 50 who is attracted to a 22 year old! There are lots of examples of hot women over 50, but how about a less obvious one like Sally Field (you young ones may not know her - she's the Mum on Brothers & Sisters - very silly drama but anyway...)? She is 63 and she looks amazing! Maybe she's had some work done, I don't know, but where there's a will there's a way and, as many of us have already said, sex appeal has more to do with attitude than age. If you want to spend the rest of your life alone soserious then, of course, you should do that, if that's what you really want, but please don't let one idiot of a man have such a massive impact on your future. All I'm saying here is that the guy who was honest enough to admit to the fact that most older women do nothing for him physically was pretty much spot on. Yes there are exceptions but in mid-life social power shifts, a 50 yr old man can easily date and bed a woman in her mid 30's to early 40's and nobody will bat an eye. Finding men who want an age peer becomes work, which at this stage of my life isn't something I'm certain is worth the effort.
califnan Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Yes, yes they are and many of the men are divorcing for the 2nd time or didn't have their kids till they were 40.. those kids are now teens and guess what? Daddy's gonna need BIG MONEY to pay his child support and help em thru college. Divorced men who would even consider a woman of my age first look at the purse, they want a woman who will "help out" by paying the bulk of their shared livings expenses, bonus points if a gal is well heeled enough to also chip in to help pay child support and/or help foot the bills for college. I am a divorced, alimony paying woman, there isn't enough left over to subsidize another man and I'm not interested in becoming a step-mother with the obligations that entails. --------------------- OK woman ... you almost did it .. you almost made me feel better - with your dismal picture .. ha ha I have been single for 24 yrs .. At 68, I don't want you to make the mistake that I might have made. Could have been married to a few friends whom I have never been attracted to in that manner.. After being contacted by an attached former classmate - just made me wonder if I had made a mistake by not getting myself out there sooner. (But if I were to ever remarry, there would be a prenuptual to protect my sons as well as his family.) Mostly, I was just trying to caution you that should you ever think of remarrying - these next few years are the time to keep it in mind.
soserious1 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 --------------------- OK woman ... you almost did it .. you almost made me feel better - with your dismal picture .. ha ha I have been single for 24 yrs .. At 68, I don't want you to make the mistake that I might have made. Could have been married to a few friends whom I have never been attracted to in that manner.. After being contacted by an attached former classmate - just made me wonder if I had made a mistake by not getting myself out there sooner. (But if I were to ever remarry, there would be a prenuptual to protect my sons as well as his family.) Mostly, I was just trying to caution you that should you ever think of remarrying - these next few years are the time to keep it in mind. Remember J.Geils ? "first I look at the purse" trust me when I tell you that men over aged 50 who are willing to consider a woman who's also over 50 do indeed look at her purse, particularly if they're saddled with alimony, child support, college obligations to their first families. A 50 yr old man can have his pick of women across a wide span of age ranges, the only real reason to date an older gal is because she's got her own home, her kids are long grown and gone and chances are good she'll be happy to "help out" by shouldering the bulk of the living expenses, chances are also good that she's traditional enough that she'll do the bulk of cooking, cleaning, caretaking and assume a step-mother role to older kids/teens.
LittleTiger Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 All I'm saying here is that the guy who was honest enough to admit to the fact that most older women do nothing for him physically was pretty much spot on. Yes there are exceptions but in mid-life social power shifts, a 50 yr old man can easily date and bed a woman in her mid 30's to early 40's and nobody will bat an eye. Finding men who want an age peer becomes work, which at this stage of my life isn't something I'm certain is worth the effort. Crikey !!! Your husband did a really good job on you didn't he? The guy who said that was spot on, you're absolutely right - but only for him. All men are different. He is just one man. There are more than 3,000,000,000 men on this planet and every one of them is different. You could be around for another 30+ years, do you really want to spend all that time alone? Some people do, I realise that, but if the only reason to stay alone is because it's too much work to find a partner, that's just a waste. I'm 45 and when my husband said he wanted out I was devastated. Then I pulled myself together and decided that if he didn't want me, there would be plenty of others who did. And I was right, I pretty much had my pick! Good job too, cos believe me I'm picky! The amazing man I'm with now is exceptional - really exceptional! Yes, they are few and far between but are they worth the effort? Hell YES!
soserious1 Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Crikey !!! Your husband did a really good job on you didn't he? The guy who said that was spot on, you're absolutely right - but only for him. All men are different. He is just one man. There are more than 3,000,000,000 men on this planet and every one of them is different. You could be around for another 30+ years, do you really want to spend all that time alone? Some people do, I realise that, but if the only reason to stay alone is because it's too much work to find a partner, that's just a waste. I'm 45 and when my husband said he wanted out I was devastated. Then I pulled myself together and decided that if he didn't want me, there would be plenty of others who did. And I was right, I pretty much had my pick! Good job too, cos believe me I'm picky! The amazing man I'm with now is exceptional - really exceptional! Yes, they are few and far between but are they worth the effort? Hell YES! You gone thru menopause yet? I'm over 50, close to a decade older than you are.. there's a vast difference between 45 and 55 in terms of looks, energy levels and the willingness to put up with the BS entailed with dating.
LittleTiger Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 A 50 yr old man can have his pick of women across a wide span of age ranges, the only real reason to date an older gal is because she's got her own home, her kids are long grown and gone and chances are good she'll be happy to "help out" by shouldering the bulk of the living expenses, chances are also good that she's traditional enough that she'll do the bulk of cooking, cleaning, caretaking and assume a step-mother role to older kids/teens. No! The only real reason to date an older gal is if she happens to be his soul mate. She thinks like he does, enjoys the same things, makes him laugh, makes him feel good about himself and has years of experience in the sack and the expertise to go with it. She also listens to him, cares about his feelings, his hopes, his dreams and makes him feel like the most special man on earth. I'd be willing to bet whatever you like that any man who found a woman like that wouldn't give a damn how old she was or how much money she earned!
califnan Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Remember J.Geils ? "first I look at the purse" trust me when I tell you that men over aged 50 who are willing to consider a woman who's also over 50 do indeed look at her purse, particularly if they're saddled with alimony, child support, college obligations to their first families. A 50 yr old man can have his pick of women across a wide span of age ranges, the only real reason to date an older gal is because she's got her own home, her kids are long grown and gone and chances are good she'll be happy to "help out" by shouldering the bulk of the living expenses, chances are also good that she's traditional enough that she'll do the bulk of cooking, cleaning, caretaking and assume a step-mother role to older kids/teens. ------------------ There's a lot to be said for: "The two shall be equally yoked".. I take that to mean in Every way! And I also have that posted on my pof.com introduction. On the other hand, I know of a man who was 66 and married a woman 4 yrs younger.. (she looks 70) .. She had found him on match.com .. She has less financially than he does, and she made the marriage about her name joining his on title of his home, and the prenuptual still makes her come out ahead. So, you see - I guess some men do marry for love, or out of desparation - even when the woman has nothing to offer.
califnan Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 You gone thru menopause yet? I'm over 50, close to a decade older than you are.. there's a vast difference between 45 and 55 in terms of looks, energy levels and the willingness to put up with the BS entailed with dating. ------------------ I'm decent looking for my age.. Probably already went thru the change.. don't remember it .. But am a very independent woman whose priorities are her family .. And no, I don't date .. Couldn't put up with it either.. After being on a few dating sights for a few years.. I have only offered communication by email ........and men Hate that ..
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