Older women

[janie423]

59 yr old Rush Limbaugh to marry 33 yr old Katherine Rogers..

 

There is only one reason this sickens me. Not the age difference. Thus far, Limbaugh has not spawned any offspring. But with this new marriage, another creature with his genetic input could ascend upon the planet.

 

And therein lies the biggest biological inequity. But even that can be overcome with egg donation.

[califnan]

There is only one reason this sickens me. Not the age difference. Thus far, Limbaugh has not spawned any offspring. But with this new marriage, another creature with his genetic input could ascend upon the planet.

 

QUOTE]

 

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Oh Janie.... I knew you would find some good in it ... something that even I hadn't thought of ... thank you

[LittleTiger]

You are basing a lot on your own interests. My experience is that younger women are often interested in older men, and I've certainly seen a fair number of them hit on older guys. It's possible this is at least partly due to the assumption that they are stable financially, but also because older men at least have the appearance of having their sh*t together (I use the word appearance, because I don't think they really do - if they did, they probably wouldn't be so interested in younger women ) .

 

I've watched one acquaintance of ours marry successively younger women. He says he isn't interested in women his age because they never want to do the things he likes - they are more homebodies and he wants to be out and about, hiking and swimming and being active. Personally, I think he's full of you know what, but regardless, he is not interested in women his age (he's 60ish) and is currently dating a woman in her twenties, but I've never seen him without a woman for longer than a week or two. They are always considerably younger, and almost without fail, they are the ones who initiated contact.

 

Fortunately, not all human beings are that shallow - but unfortunately, a great many of them/us are. Though I completely agree with you that a solid long term partnership is built on much more important things than looks - a person generally needs to have some looks first - to generate the beginnings of the relationship that can then be built on more. No beginning - ergo no middle and no end . But I agree, if the relationship is built only on the looks of one or the other, the first mild ripple will probably reduce it to ashes.

 

Though the bolded part is undoubtedly true - it is also true that most long term marriages go through some kind of trauma - if the marriage has been strong in the past - then quite often the memory of when it was good can get the couple to work through the bad times to recover the marriage. Most marriages even good ones, are not "solid" all the time.

 

Yes, this reply was based very much on my own current interests, because I was responding very specifically to what soserious1 had suggested I was deliberately side-stepping. I too was attracted to older men when I was young, but not that much older. 12 years was my maximum, and as soon as I dealt with my own issues and grew up, men my own age became my preference. Young women interested in older men have issues, as do older men interested in young women - like you say, if they had their sh*t together they'd be looking for a real, grown up woman!

 

I have been approached and asked out by men in their 60s and I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole. I am an active, outdoor, sporty woman - I swim, hike, scuba dive, rock climb and weight train. Men who are into all that stuff too are few and far between at any age and over 50 they're almost non-existent. I believe too many people use middle age as an excuse to sit around and allow their bodies and minds to deteriorate. Your 60 yr old acquaintance is probaby telling the truth when he says women of his age want to stay at home! Of course it gets harder as we get older, muscle mass can lessen and metabolism consequently slows down - but only if we let it - it is most certainly NOT a foregone conclusion. I've seen pictures of women over 50 who are into body building and they look incredible - not that most of us would want to take things to that extreme but you get what I'm saying?

 

Now, does a person really need to have looks before they can attract a mate? I'm not sure they do. I have seen a lot of people who I would personally consider unattractive, with a partner who clearly loves them. A massive percentage of people are seriously overweight or obese these days, but that doesn't seem to stop them from getting married and having children. Usually their partners are also overweight, but presumably they find one another attractive? I would go back to my personality argument here and say they're attracted to the person inside, but perhaps that's actually me who's being shallow and they genuinely consider each other physically very desirable (based on looks alone)? I don't know, that's a tough one.

 

I agree that most marriage's aren't good all the time, but the best marriages are definitely 'solid'. By that I mean built on solid foundations -which obviously means something other than looks. There are undoubtedy shallow men and women in the world, who marry someone just because they are 'hot' but I honestly believe they are in the minority.

[silktricks]

Young women interested in older men have issues

Although there are cultural norms as well, and though here in the states the cultural norm is for people to marry fairly close to their own age bracket, I do know that other cultures can have other norms...

 

I have been approached and asked out by men in their 60s and I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole. I am an active, outdoor, sporty woman - I swim, hike, scuba dive, rock climb and weight train. Men who are into all that stuff too are few and far between at any age and over 50 they're almost non-existent. I believe too many people use middle age as an excuse to sit around and allow their bodies and minds to deteriorate. Your 60 yr old acquaintance is probaby telling the truth when he says women of his age want to stay at home!

To a point he's telling the truth. But not totally. I know him well, and the truth is that he's in to hot young women. Even if there were a ton of 50 year old women who were into hiking and other physical activity, he'd find some reason that they didn't "suit" him. Whereas he finds any excuse he can to find reasons young women do "suit" him. Like all of us, he's got his issues. But my point in the beginning was that many young women do like older men and vice versa - not because of any specific thing, but because they are young.

 

Now, does a person really need to have looks before they can attract a mate? I'm not sure they do. I have seen a lot of people who I would personally consider unattractive, with a partner who clearly loves them. A massive percentage of people are seriously overweight or obese these days, but that doesn't seem to stop them from getting married and having children. Usually their partners are also overweight, but presumably they find one another attractive? I would go back to my personality argument here and say they're attracted to the person inside, but perhaps that's actually me who's being shallow and they genuinely consider each other physically very desirable (based on looks alone)? I don't know, that's a tough one.

It's very confusing to be sure. I know that sometimes I say to myself "hmmmm they must have met a long time ago", but as you say, maybe that's my own shallowness peaking out... I do believe there has to be something more than "personality" to get someone interested enough to look at the personality - because, well, because you can't "see" personality. You have to experience it. Something has to first catch your "eye"....

 

I agree that most marriage's aren't good all the time, but the best marriages are definitely 'solid'. By that I mean built on solid foundations -which obviously means something other than looks. There are undoubtedy shallow men and women in the world, who marry someone just because they are 'hot' but I honestly believe they are in the minority.

Yeah, I was reacting to your comment about break-ups. Even if a marriage is built on solid foundations, during a period of trauma the marriage can discintegrate (sp?) if one or the other gets side-tracked by somebody's hot body. The foundation can be good, but the house attacked by carpenter ants - it'll still crumble.

[janie423]

There is only one reason this sickens me. Not the age difference. Thus far, Limbaugh has not spawned any offspring. But with this new marriage, another creature with his genetic input could ascend upon the planet.

 

QUOTE]

 

-----------------------

 

Oh Janie.... I knew you would find some good in it ... something that even I hadn't thought of ... thank you

 

yes, it could be good, the offspring could turn out to be a liberal, just like Ronald Reagan's son . . .

[angie2443]

There is only one reason this sickens me. Not the age difference. Thus far, Limbaugh has not spawned any offspring. But with this new marriage, another creature with his genetic input could ascend upon the planet.

 

And therein lies the biggest biological inequity. But even that can be overcome with egg donation.

 

Limbaugh is fat, old, disgusting and stupid. I don't know why his new wife is with him, but it isn't out of any sort of physical attraction. If she's attracted to his personality, she's got serious problems.

 

The good news, is, that older men do often have problems producing children. Some can, many more can't. Hopefully, Limbaugh can't. If he could of, wouldn't he have of done that by now?

[LittleTiger]

Although there are cultural norms as well, and though here in the states the cultural norm is for people to marry fairly close to their own age bracket, I do know that other cultures can have other norms...

 

Very true, can't argue with that. However, it's my belief that we, in Western society, marry close to our own age because most of us have a completely free choice and people of our own age are more likely to be in a similar stage of life. What healthy man, who's been through the mill of marriage and divorce, has grown children, maybe even grandchildren, wants to share his life with an early 20 something who has no life experience whatsoever and who's primary interests are probaby clothes, make up and wild nights out? (OK, huge generalisation but you know what I mean).

 

To a point he's telling the truth. But not totally. I know him well, and the truth is that he's in to hot young women. Even if there were a ton of 50 year old women who were into hiking and other physical activity, he'd find some reason that they didn't "suit" him. Whereas he finds any excuse he can to find reasons young women do "suit" him. Like all of us, he's got his issues. But my point in the beginning was that many young women do like older men and vice versa - not because of any specific thing, but because they are young.

 

Well these kinds of men certainly exist and they generally are not suitable partners for older women anyway. A man who lusts after women young enough to be his daughter has a problem in my book. I don't agree when you say 'not because of any specific thing'. It isn't just about the young women being young and nubile - it is also about their lack of experience, the power differential and much more. Young women who like older men usually have 'daddy issues'!

 

It's very confusing to be sure. I know that sometimes I say to myself "hmmmm they must have met a long time ago", but as you say, maybe that's my own shallowness peaking out... I do believe there has to be something more than "personality" to get someone interested enough to look at the personality - because, well, because you can't "see" personality. You have to experience it. Something has to first catch your "eye"....

 

So how do you explain how blind people become physically attracted to someone? Because they definitely do. I'm pretty sure that personality can catch your "eye" too!

 

Yeah, I was reacting to your comment about break-ups. Even if a marriage is built on solid foundations, during a period of trauma the marriage can discintegrate (sp?) if one or the other gets side-tracked by somebody's hot body. The foundation can be good, but the house attacked by carpenter ants - it'll still crumble.

 

Maybe, and until my marriage broke up I might have agreed with you. I think sometimes we just kid ourselves about how strong that foundation is. Nobody got side-tracked in my case but the marriage still fell apart after 14 years together - and we were good friends for 23 years before we got married. Obviously a marriage built mainly on friendship will not survive any better than one built on lust. Woudn't it be great if we could find a magic formula?

[janie423]

Limbaugh is fat, old, disgusting and stupid. I don't know why his new wife is with him, but it isn't out of any sort of physical attraction. If she's attracted to his personality, she's got serious problems.

 

The good news, is, that older men do often have problems producing children. Some can, many more can't. Hopefully, Limbaugh can't. If he could of, wouldn't he have of done that by now?

 

Good point, and we can only hope that this is the case for him . . . he has been married 3 times before.

 

And yeah, some women will do anything for money . . .

[You Go Girl]

. My experience is that younger women are often interested in older men, and I've certainly seen a fair number of them hit on older guys. It's possible this is at least partly due to the assumption that they are stable financially, but also because older men at least have the appearance of having their sh*t together (I use the word appearance, because I don't think they really do - if they did, they probably wouldn't be so interested in younger women ) .

 

 

Honestly, younger women seek older men *hoping* that they are long past their Casanova stage.

Usually older men that go after younger women though, never get over their Casanova stage, so the younger woman is chasing an illusion.

But older men are far better at hiding it.

Young women will think--he's going to be more appreciative of me because of the age difference. I am going to have an added strength in this relationship.

Then they see them look at an even younger woman than themselves...and the whole illusion is blown to bits.

[silktricks]

Very true, can't argue with that. However, it's my belief that we, in Western society, marry close to our own age because most of us have a completely free choice and people of our own age are more likely to be in a similar stage of life. What healthy man, who's been through the mill of marriage and divorce, has grown children, maybe even grandchildren, wants to share his life with an early 20 something who has no life experience whatsoever and who's primary interests are probaby clothes, make up and wild nights out? (OK, huge generalisation but you know what I mean).

 

I hear what you are saying (and totally agree with you) about 60-something marrying 20-somethings, and I know I took us down that track with my example - but the thrust of this thread overall is that <generally speaking> older men like/are attracted to younger women. I do believe that <overall> this is true. Largely I think it's because our society seems to worship youth.

 

Well these kinds of men certainly exist and they generally are not suitable partners for older women anyway. A man who lusts after women young enough to be his daughter has a problem in my book. I don't agree when you say 'not because of any specific thing'. It isn't just about the young women being young and nubile - it is also about their lack of experience, the power differential and much more. Young women who like older men usually have 'daddy issues'!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but actually, I disagree. I know, I know, that's the standard belief, but I don't think so. To a large extent young women are much MORE confident than are older women - especially in the "dating game". Their presentation is usually more "in your face" and most of the young women I know have and exert a great deal of power in their dealings with others. Granted, they don't have life experience - but that doesn't automatically give them less power in interpersonal relationships.

 

As for younger women being attracted to older men. Possibly some of them have "daddy issues", but there is also the fact that many older men don't look all that old. 60 is the new 40 isn't really just a myth. People who eat healthy and take care of themselves, are active and interesting - who wouldn't be interested? Older men (and older women IMO) are just more interesting people than are young ones, and I know more than one 30 something (woman) who is married to a 50 something (man), not because of daddy issues (at least apparently) but because their guy is interesting and fun to be around.

 

So how do you explain how blind people become physically attracted to someone? Because they definitely do. I'm pretty sure that personality can catch your "eye" too!

You got me.

 

Maybe, and until my marriage broke up I might have agreed with you. I think sometimes we just kid ourselves about how strong that foundation is. Nobody got side-tracked in my case but the marriage still fell apart after 14 years together - and we were good friends for 23 years before we got married. Obviously a marriage built mainly on friendship will not survive any better than one built on lust. Woudn't it be great if we could find a magic formula?

Actually I think we are in total agreement. A solid foundation only counts for so much. After the foundation is in, the house must still be built strong, and maintained well - otherwise it still crumbles. It doesn't necessarily have to be another person that causes the crumbling, it more often is the distance two people allow themselves to drift apart.

[You Go Girl]

" it is also about their lack of experience, the power differential and much more. Young women who like older men usually have 'daddy issues'!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but actually, I disagree. I know, I know, that's the standard belief, but I don't think so. To a large extent young women are much MORE confident than are older women - especially in the "dating game". Their presentation is usually more "in your face" and most of the young women I know have and exert a great deal of power in their dealings with others. Granted, they don't have life experience - but that doesn't automatically give them less power in interpersonal relationships."

 

Silk, there's another thread on LS right now where a young woman who says she is pretty is discussing whether she should share a hotel suite with her boss. She thinks that the prettiness and youth are the reasons he might want to cheat with her.

It's not. Youth and pretty are what they are--

but predatory older men are interested in manipulation. Gullibleness, vulnerablness, naivete.

It sounded to me like she was giving herself credit for her youth and looks. I kinda smashed her down with the above truths about the predatory male. Being easily manipulated, gullible, naive, vulnerable, are not necessarily traits to think of as strengths.

[silktricks]

Silk, there's another thread on LS right now where a young woman who says she is pretty is discussing whether she should share a hotel suite with her boss. She thinks that the prettiness and youth are the reasons he might want to cheat with her.

It's not. Youth and pretty are what they are--

but predatory older men are interested in manipulation. Gullibleness, vulnerablness, naivete.

It sounded to me like she was giving herself credit for her youth and looks. I kinda smashed her down with the above truths about the predatory male. Being easily manipulated, gullible, naive, vulnerable, are not necessarily traits to think of as strengths.

 

I'm not saying there aren't predatory older guys out there - but those aren't really interested in relationships - they're interested in bedding a young chick. Not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about older guys (and younger women) who are looking for real relationships, and to assume that every older man who is in a relationship with a younger woman is in it for additional power is IMO opinion going down the wrong track.

[LittleTiger]

"Silk, there's another thread on LS right now where a young woman who says she is pretty is discussing whether she should share a hotel suite with her boss. She thinks that the prettiness and youth are the reasons he might want to cheat with her.

It's not. Youth and pretty are what they are--

but predatory older men are interested in manipulation. Gullibleness, vulnerablness, naivete.

It sounded to me like she was giving herself credit for her youth and looks. I kinda smashed her down with the above truths about the predatory male. Being easily manipulated, gullible, naive, vulnerable, are not necessarily traits to think of as strengths.

 

Thanks YGG, that's what I meant!

[LittleTiger]

the thrust of this thread overall is that <generally speaking> older men like/are attracted to younger women. I do believe that <overall> this is true. Largely I think it's because our society seems to worship youth.

 

Actually, I think the thrust of this thread is that older women (over 40) are still attractive to their partners (of the same age) but we have digressed somewhat . Most guys have said yes, as far as I can remember.

 

I can't believe I'm saying this, but actually, I disagree. I know, I know, that's the standard belief, but I don't think so. To a large extent young women are much MORE confident than are older women - especially in the "dating game". Their presentation is usually more "in your face" and most of the young women I know have and exert a great deal of power in their dealings with others. Granted, they don't have life experience - but that doesn't automatically give them less power in interpersonal relationships.

 

I see two sides to this. Older women, usually divorced, thrown back into the dating game, with a body and face that, although maybe still very attractive, aren't quite what they once were, is bound to feel a little less confident than she did twenty odd years ago. However, once in a relationship, an older woman will beat a younger woman, hands down, for confidence, especially when it comes to sex (gross generalisation again but it's what I believe).

 

As for younger women being attracted to older men. Possibly some of them have "daddy issues", but there is also the fact that many older men don't look all that old. 60 is the new 40 isn't really just a myth. People who eat healthy and take care of themselves, are active and interesting - who wouldn't be interested? Older men (and older women IMO) are just more interesting people than are young ones, and I know more than one 30 something (woman) who is married to a 50 something (man), not because of daddy issues (at least apparently) but because their guy is interesting and fun to be around.

 

The 'daddy' thing isn't about how old the man looks it's about being looked after, treated as precious, being able to twist him around her little finger and get everything she wants - and if he's got money so much the better!

 

You got me.

 

Think I got us all with that one LOL!

[You Go Girl]

The 'daddy' thing isn't about how old the man looks it's about being looked after, treated as precious, being able to twist him around her little finger and get everything she wants - and if he's got money so much the better!

 

 

Yeah, but karma is a you know what. This always comes back to bite them later. Men who seek out women based on a young age are by definition predatory.

Does he care about her career? Oh puleez

Does he care how smart she is? Umm...the dumber the better.

What he wants is AGREEABLE.

Women his own age will call him out on B.S.

Young woman who looks up to his experience, thinking him wise (unwisely by her), strokes his egos--both of them--pun intended--

then later he cheats on her.

Well, she was new. Trophy wife. Now she's not so new. Plus, maybe she has some irritating little habits.

Then it all blows up. To top it off, they have little in common.

Sure, there are exclusions to the rule, but few and far between.

[LittleTiger]

Yeah, but karma is a you know what. This always comes back to bite them later. Men who seek out women based on a young age are by definition predatory.

Does he care about her career? Oh puleez

Does he care how smart she is? Umm...the dumber the better.

What he wants is AGREEABLE.

Women his own age will call him out on B.S.

Young woman who looks up to his experience, thinking him wise (unwishely by her), strokes his egos--both of them--pun intended--

then later he cheats on her.

Well, she was new. Trophy wife. Now she's not so new. Plus, maybe she has some irritating little habits.

Then it all blows up. To top it off, they have little in common.

Sure, there are exclusions to the rule, but few and far between.

 

I totally agree. The young girl with the 'daddy issues' is actually looking (hoping) for something that doesn't exist. She doesn't realise it's just her body he's after and once he's had that a while he'll get bored and move on to someone younger. Being treated like 'daddy's little princess' only lasts as long as you look (and act) like 'daddy's little princess'! Typical predatory male (with issues) and naive young woman. Very sad.