wingman2 Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I recently split with my GF 3 months ago after being together for 3 1/2 years. She left me and I miss her to death and want her back more than ever but I'm getting to that point that I want to try dating again. Problem is it's been so long, my last 2 relationships happened out of no where really, in fact. I never even had the intention of wanting to be with my previous GF, we were best friends and our love happened naturally. Overall it's been 5 years since I've been in the dating scene. I've lost a lot of confidence since and honestly I'm somewhat shy. Just the other day I saw a really cute girl inside walgreens (probably not the best place to meet someone) and noticed her giving me several glances. I was eager to go up to her but honestly didn't know what to say and rather than making a fool of myself I stood my ground and allowed her to get away. Several people have suggested I go to a bar in which I took their advice and did just that, didn't turn out too well. I met someone who was nice and appeared to have a lot in common with me, we went on one date, talked for a week, but didn't trust the kind of person she was and considering I was missing my ex so much I just flat out told her I didn't want a relationship. Can anyone offer me some tips on how I can go about and approach women whom I think I might have good chances on getting along with?
Green Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I recently split with my GF 3 months ago after being together for 3 1/2 years. She left me and I miss her to death and want her back more than ever but I'm getting to that point that I want to try dating again. The longer you go with out talking/txting/emailing or seeing your ex the easier it will get. The fact that you want to start dating again is great at means you are really close to getting over her. Problem is it's been so long, my last 2 relationships happened out of no where really, in fact. I never even had the intention of wanting to be with my previous GF, we were best friends and our love happened naturally. Overall it's been 5 years since I've been in the dating scene. I've lost a lot of confidence since and honestly I'm somewhat shy. Its not easy to get back in the grind especialy since you never had to but you already know what you need to do. <A> be yourself the confident version of yourself... <B> Aproach, flirt, and ask out any attractive women you see whether it be at the super market or beach/park what ever... don't chicken.. <C> Enjoy yourself when you are single and meeting new people, don't make it a stressful thing and don't let rejection upset you or scare you away from talking to and asking out girls you like.... <D> Don't be afraid to let loose... Make sure you KISS the girl by the end of the first date or she might not realize she was just on one. Just the other day I saw a really cute girl inside walgreens (probably not the best place to meet someone) and noticed her giving me several glances. I was eager to go up to her but honestly didn't know what to say and rather than making a fool of myself I stood my ground and allowed her to get away. Thats great. I say its a sign you are getting over your ex. I agree that walgreens isn't the greatest place because she may have some private medication like for an sti or psychiatric thing... but most likely she was just there buying some cough drops or some random crap... I say the fact that she gave you glances mean you for sure should have been like "Hey so glad summer is finaly here" made some small talk and then "Let me take you out for ________ tommorow night" then you wip out ur phone and have her put your number in ... then you txt her right there being like Hey its _________ now you have my number nice meeting you look foward to tomorrow" even if the girl says "no i'm busy" or "just no" you should try to get her contact info to ask her out again some other time. The fact that she gave you glances is great... but seriously if you are out and about and you notice some pretty girl and she doesn't even see you... well you should still go flirt with her... don't worry about what other people who can over hear will think. As long as you are polite and respectful it will be a big compliment to the girl even if she ends up being married or just not interested or what ever. Several people have suggested I go to a bar in which I took their advice and did just that, didn't turn out too well. I met someone who was nice and appeared to have a lot in common with me, we went on one date, talked for a week, but didn't trust the kind of person she was and considering I was missing my ex so much I just flat out told her I didn't want a relationship. The fact that you were even able to meet some one in a bar is crazy. By far the hardest place to make a good lasting connection with some one because of the fact that there is alcohol involved and people are often on gaurd at the bar and about people who they meet at a bar/club. I personaly recomend you go to bars and clubs for fun with your friends if you enjoy that time of thing. Dance it up with the pretty girls and share a drink and a laugh with your friends. I don't think it is the greatest place to meet some one so I wouldn't go to a bar if meeting a girl was the only reason you were going. Can anyone offer me some tips on how I can go about and approach women whom I think I might have good chances on getting along with? The best place to meet girls is school so if it is your dream to do something that requires more school you can hit two birds with one stone. If you have no need for school any more you could take a class in something you like ... maybe art or movie making or script writing. If you are not interested in any of those things you could join a club or sports team. Even if the sports team you join is all men... they might be able to set you up.. at a minimum if they throw a party and invite you those are a great place to meet women. Friends parties or throwing your own party can turn into a great place to meet some one. Doesn't have to be anything great, maybe just a BBQ that allows you to invite people you don't know that well. Remeber don't be afraid to aproach, chat up, flirt and ask out women.
Knittress Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I don't have advice on this whole 'dating' thing, and getting out of the house and meeting people is probably good for you - but are you SURE you're ready to get involved with someone new? It's only been 3 months after 3.5 years, after all. Some people get over one overwhelming emotion (like pain) by diving into another overwhelming emotion (like new-love phermones) - and some people say that works for them. Me however, when I got out of my LTR I needed a few years to remember who I was in the context of me, not me+another - and worrying about someone else was truly more than I could handle. Just another viewpoint.
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