smca07 Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 I'm a 21 y/o male.I don't know what to do. I'm in a complete rut. Alone. Crushing hard on a girl that I don't have the guts to tell her how I feel. I'm furious at myself for not stepping up and at least giving myself a chance at something. We even exchanged numbers, and I'm too chickensh*t to even text her, nevermind call. I try to clear my head with exercise or doing something else, but ultimately I'm sitting here, spacing out just thinking about her. Why can't I just say 'Hey, what are you doing today"? I'm so anxious about finding out that she doesn't feel the same way about me, I don't know what would happen or what I would do if that were the case. She's the only girl I ever talk to and I really don't feel like I'm capable of just going out and meeting someone. Writing here helps vent. Any words of wisdom are most welcome.
Eve Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 I think you need to see the girl as another person and not a hurdle to cross. What matters is not to be so hard on yourself. I mean, it does matter that you like her too, not just her liking you! It isnt a performance, its putting into words what you are wondering about her.. Go for it! My youngest boy (nearly 18) was really nervous about meeting up with a girl for the first time etc but said that once they were together he just let it flow and even was brave enough to go for a kiss because thats what he really wanted to. The kiss was reciprocated.. Just do it!!! Clearly she is interested if she has given you her number sweety.. Just ask what you want to know and let it flow.. Please tell us what happened.. Take care, Eve xx
Green Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I'm in my twenties, older then you and done with college. I can relate to everything you wrote. Let me tell you that everything has worked out for me in the end. I'm a 21 y/o male.I don't know what to do. I'm in a complete rut. Alone. Crushing hard on a girl that I don't have the guts to tell her how I feel. I'm furious at myself for not stepping up and at least giving myself a chance at something. We even exchanged numbers, and I'm too chickensh*t to even text her, nevermind call. I try to clear my head with exercise or doing something else, but ultimately I'm sitting here, spacing out just thinking about her. I was horrible with girls until after I graduated college. Never even kissed a girl until I was 22 and got my first gf. Your main problem in getting a girl is your self. Just relax, don't focus on a particular girl... because the truth is YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW HER AT ALL. If she rejects you there are plenty of other women... in fact if she rejects you she may later regret it and accept you... Also even if she accepts you and dates you for months or years... she can always end up dumping you. My point is relax and just enjoy yourself. You need to literaly tell yourself "Relax, its no big deal, just enjoy myself... enjoy having a crush on a girl" it is not something to stres about. In high school I once asked a girl for her number... I was so nervouse... I tried calling it once and no one answered... I never had the guts to call again. I also never said another word to the girl... omg if I had just been cool enough to talk to her a little and not worry so much about rejection I bet it would have worked out and I would have had a gf in HS. I college girls would actualy be friendly with me... I was way to scared to take it anything beyond friendship. FINALY after college during the summer... I was just so horney I said F it and asked a really pretty girl out. I ended up getting drunk on our date and being a jerk...and when she was telling me I was a jerk I just kissed her... Well long story short she became my GF for a while... We broke up... I was devestated... but from that point on I was no longer afraid of Rejection. I went on to have a few more seriouse gfs... also had fun and just dated some girls... Currently I have gf who I live with... crazy eh Why can't I just say 'Hey, what are you doing today"? I'm so anxious about finding out that she doesn't feel the same way about me, I don't know what would happen or what I would do if that were the case. She's the only girl I ever talk to and I really don't feel like I'm capable of just going out and meeting someone. Writing here helps vent. Any words of wisdom are most welcome. My advice is stop building this girl up to something bigger then she is in your head. She is just a girl who you happen to like. If she doesn't like you back it is not the end of the world. I say you call her tomorrow and see if she is available for dinner or lunch if you prefer. If she says she is busy then ask her "Then would the next day be good, if not please suggest a time because I'd like to take you out" If she says "no" but you think there still might be a chance feel free to ask her out again. Don't just focus on this one girl. Notice the other pretty girls. If she says not ask them out. REMEMBER WHEn YOU GET A GIRL ON A DATE YOU HAVE TO GO ON FOR A KISS... DONT ASK JUST KiSS BEFORE THE DATE IS OVER.. or they might not even know it was a date. GOOD LUCK REMEMBER YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENYEMY. DOn't build this up to be something stressful. Life will go on if this girl says no. Just enjoy yourself. enjoy the anticipation, enjoy the what ifs... say to yourself this is fun.
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