susan2 Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 i have been in this relationship with my boyfriend for a year. He is 41 and i am 36. We are both recently divorced. We both care very deeply for each other and get along so well. We never fight and always have a good time together. The problem is i have a child and he worries about raiseing another child. He raised a child with his ex but that child was not his and when they separated 2 years ago that child was ripped out of his life. He thinks he is to old to raise another child. And he has stated that he always knew this time would be his time and not time for rasiing another child. He has broken up with me 5 months ago because this scares him so much. He recently told me about his fears again and i just broke up with him because i told him he needed to fiquare where he wanted to go with this relationship before i continue with him. I'm so scared for me and my child because we are both so attached to him. Also he could never tell me he loved even though i told him. A couple days after i broke up with him i went over to his house to return some of his things. He told me he didn't want to break up and that he didnt want to lose me. He says that the main reason he is having so much trouble is that he has a hard time living at his house and then saying at my house for a couple days a week. It sounds like he wants to move in together. what the heck??? He doesn't know if he wants a family and now contemplating on moving in?? And then right before i left he told me he loved me because he needed me to know that before i left. Why couldn't he ever say this before?? I haven't heard from him in 3days and i really am confused. I don't want to keep going if he always going to be questioning the family thing. Please help me
sugarmomma Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 He sounds really confused and I would suggest that you give him a lot of space to figure his stuff out. He seems pretty jaded by the exes in his life and has some major abandonment/trust issues. Don't let your child get any more attached to this guy than he has. Detach from him because he sounds really damaged and fragmented. You both are recovering from divorces and that in and of itself spells b-a-g-g-a-g-e!
Author susan2 Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 i miss him so much and can't believe he still hasn't called after 4 days. I know i should probably just move on but I'm so scared that what if he's the one. I broke up with him last week but promised him i would still go canoeing with him on thursday. we had planned it a long time ago with a bunch of others. Now though i don't know if it's the right thing to do. He stresses me out all the time, just because one minute he seems good with everything and the next very distant. He does seem very confused about what he wants, but after a year i would think he would know. Is that to much to ask???
sugarmomma Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 You have to work on your fears and release them. If he is the one for you you won't live in fear of letting him go to work on himself. He needs space so let him come to you.
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