tanbark813 Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 So after two years together I found out a few weeks ago that my now ex-gf had been cheating on me for a month with her personal trainer, not to mention a one-time thing with another guy back in February. I trusted this girl more than any other I've been with too. She moved her stuff out a little over a week ago. I have already been engaging in my patented remedy, however. The above isn't why I haven't been around, btw. No real reason for that, just kind of took a break. But on a lighter note: I just got a new job and my band has been playing a lot lately.
whichwayisup Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Congrats on the job! And playing alot with your band. Sorry to hear that she cheated on you. She's a fool.
Author tanbark813 Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 Congrats on the job! And playing alot with your band. Thanks! I can always count on WWIU to post a reply.
melodymatters Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Tanny ! I was so happy to see you posting......but then bummed to see what it was about ! I'm glad everything else is well ! Don't be a stranger !
Author tanbark813 Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 Tanny ! I was so happy to see you posting......but then bummed to see what it was about ! I'm glad everything else is well ! Don't be a stranger ! MM! I'm sure I'll be around.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 I was wondering what happened to you. Glad to see you back, sorry to see that things ended that way.
Jilly Bean Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 Oh, wow, TB. That dirty whore! Truly, I was just thinking about you the other week, and wondering where you had been. I'm so sorry to hear your news. 2 years is a long time. Whatta mega douche. Seriously. On a brighter note, Star can wing for ya'...
D-Lish Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 Oh, wow, TB. That dirty whore! I hope you gave her a dutch oven fart Nothing left to be said- these two covered it and I concur! lol. Nice to see you back T- sorry it's under these circumstances. New job, band doing well... I'd say it's time to take revenge with your penis.
allina Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 Hey TB, I'm glad to see you back Sorry it's under these sh*tty circumstances Are you seeing HR next month? Where is the band playing this June??
Author tanbark813 Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 Oh, wow, TB. That dirty whore! Truly, I was just thinking about you the other week, and wondering where you had been. I'm so sorry to hear your news. 2 years is a long time. Whatta mega douche. Seriously. On a brighter note, Star can wing for ya'... Thanks, JB. I hope you gave her a dutch oven fart Well, yes, but that was really more part of the relationship than the breakup. Nice to see you back T- sorry it's under these circumstances. New job, band doing well... I'd say it's time to take revenge with your penis. Thanks, DL. I shall do so. Are you seeing HR next month? I didn't know Rollins was on tour. Probably not this time but I'm sure in the future. Where is the band playing this June?? We're playing Giordano Bros in North Beach on June 12th. We also got a standing gig at the Firehouse Brewery in Sunnyvale for every Sunday afternoon and every other Wednesday, plus a Friday on June 11th. It's a bit of a trek for you but it's a cool place (and has smokin' hot waitresses ).
Star Gazer Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Aww man, that sucks big time. I agree with JB, what a dirty whore! Did you go apesh*t? Or just calmly tell her the get the eff out? Or did she just know better, and leave? I agree... penis vengence, all the way. You seem to be in good spirits though... you really okay?
Author tanbark813 Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Did you go apesh*t? Or just calmly tell her the get the eff out? Or did she just know better, and leave? Initially I was in a state of disbelief. I printed out one of the emails as evidence (I found out per my usual methods ) and handed it to her when she got home. I saw her face drop and start to shake when she realized what I had. After that I demanded to know what it was about (it basically declared her undying love for another guy but didn't have a lot of detail) but she refused to tell me anything. So then I just told her that she knows what this means and can no longer stay here. After that I just focused on the TV and my beer. She packed up some stuff and was out the door in about 10 minutes. I was really pissed off but didn't move a muscle--didn't even look at her--mainly because I didn't want to lose my temper and blow up. We exchange some civil and heated words for 2 weeks after that until she moved her stuff out. We arranged things so we wouldn't have to see each other (she actually said she was ashamed to face me) and I haven't heard from her since she moved out. You seem to be in good spirits though... you really okay? I'm not great but I'll be fine. I've been through this kind of thing before, though never with a girl with whom I've lived. I'm trying not to let it get to me too much. And the new job and gigs have been a great distraction. Plus, the extent of the betrayal means there can be no reconciliation and there's some comfort in that finality. At least there's nothing I have to second-guess.
laRubiaBonita Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 it's a BIG bummer she sucked at monogomy..... but glad to see you and hear other aspects are going great!!! i was thinking/ wondering about you
Hot Carl Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 This kind of thing makes it hard to get involved with people. You have to seriously wonder whether the good outweighs the bad in the long run. Glad to know you're handling it ok. One bit of advice I have is to get the emotions out somehow. You can't heal up if you ignore them. The rage and sadness just sit there and keep you from moving on, even if you think you feel ok.
SadKitty78 Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 We're playing Giordano Bros in North Beach on June 12th. We also got a standing gig at the Firehouse Brewery in Sunnyvale for every Sunday afternoon and every other Wednesday, plus a Friday on June 11th. It's a bit of a trek for you but it's a cool place (and has smokin' hot waitresses ). Ooh, I live on Taylor Street right by North Beach! Will try and make it to your show if possible; I love Giordano Bros! Great sandwiches!
reservoirdog1 Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Sorry to hear it TB, but welcome back, mang. Props on the her-ass-meets-curb thing.
marlena Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Ah, so sorry, TB! You know, I really don't understand why relationships are so hard nowadays. Anyway, just another bump in the road. You'll be OK. Of course, you know I missed your avie. That smile, well, always puts a smile on my face, too.
Author tanbark813 Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 but glad to see you and hear other aspects are going great!!! Thanks, lRB. Glad to know you're handling it ok. One bit of advice I have is to get the emotions out somehow. You can't heal up if you ignore them. The rage and sadness just sit there and keep you from moving on, even if you think you feel ok. Yeah, I'm not totally repressing everything but at the same time I'm trying not to wallow in self-pity too much. Having movie nights alone and getting out and playing music have been good releases. Ooh, I live on Taylor Street right by North Beach! Will try and make it to your show if possible; I love Giordano Bros! Great sandwiches! Nice! Come on out then. I'll be the dude playing sax. Yeah, their sandwiches are awesome. I usually take advantage of the fact that we get free food in addition to the free beer. Sorry to hear it TB, but welcome back, mang. Props on the her-ass-meets-curb thing. Thanks, man. Of course, you know I missed your avie. That smile, well, always puts a smile on my face, too. All in a day's work, lady.
allina Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Hey TB, I can't help but wonder, you said you "found out with the usual methods" as in you snooped. Did something happen that made you feel like snooping? I know you haven't had the greatest experience with women but I hope you'll be able to trust and love again. I will make one of the gigs sometime soon, I'm excited to see you play
Author tanbark813 Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 Hey TB, I can't help but wonder, you said you "found out with the usual methods" as in you snooped. Did something happen that made you feel like snooping? So she gave me her email password way back when we first started dating because of a Facebook thing. She must have actually forgotten because when I confronted her the night we broke up she asked how I got in. TBH, I checked it a couple times early in the relationship out of paranoia but never found anything and stopped after that. Weeks before we broke up things just seemed off, for lack of a better term. I was getting that bad gut feeling that I'm familiar with. One night we were just kind of hanging out and she asked me what's wrong and I just said that I don't know but something is different. Later I even asked her if she was seeing someone else and even asked her specifically about the trainer since I've had my suspicions for a while now. She just denied everything. The night I found out, we got into a really petty argument (about doing the dishes) before she left for the gym (of course). We had been getting a into a lot of petty shyt so I finally decided to check her email again. That's when I found out what was going on. I know you haven't had the greatest experience with women but I hope you'll be able to trust and love again. That's the thing that sucks is that I trusted this girl more than any other I've been with. Even my friends were shocked about what happened and said she doesn't seem like the type. Oh well.. live and learn.
whichwayisup Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Weeks before we broke up things just seemed off, for lack of a better term. I was getting that bad gut feeling that I'm familiar with. One night we were just kind of hanging out and she asked me what's wrong and I just said that I don't know but something is different. Later I even asked her if she was seeing someone else and even asked her specifically about the trainer since I've had my suspicions for a while now. She just denied everything. This is what stumps me. Here you present her with what's on your mind. She had an opportunity to talk, be honest and just say "hey, things are different ,I've changed blah blah blah, I think we need to break up." or whatever along those lines. Why lie and deny? Did she think she was goign to continue to cheat on you for years to come? W..T..F. One word. (and yes she has one, but she IS one) P*ssy.
Author tanbark813 Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 This is what stumps me. Here you present her with what's on your mind. She had an opportunity to talk, be honest and just say "hey, things are different ,I've changed blah blah blah, I think we need to break up." or whatever along those lines. Why lie and deny? Did she think she was goign to continue to cheat on you for years to come? W..T..F. One word. (and yes she has one, but she IS one) P*ssy. I've wondered that myself and have come up with two possible reasons: 1. When she moved in with me it was moving out of her parents' house which is about 1.5 hours away. She changed schools and changed jobs, and while I was footing most of the bills for the living expenses, she did contribute what she could. She had two more weeks left in her current semester when I found out--plus another 3 months in our lease--so she could have just been waiting for a more convenient time to break up. 2. She may have just resolved to stay with me and just f**k people on the side for years to come, as you say. After we broke up she said she was fed up with me not proposing but I don't know how true that is or if it was just a convenient excuse to use retroactively.
whichwayisup Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Well, her loss, not yours. Just sucks that she hurt you and wasn't the woman you thought she was.
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