Djd Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Hey, it's my first time on here so go easy on me.. my story is similar to a lot of others, but there's a slight difference, which is why I'm posting on here. I've been goin out with this girl I met at uni for about a year, I really like her and things were goin well, but early on there was always little things I would do tht would annoy her. It was understandable cuz I was her 1st boyfriend, whereas Ive had a few girls here n ther. Well a few months back things wer goin amazingly well, n I was sure she was almost ready to have sex, but on my friends birthday I got really drunk, and my friends mate kissed me, but I kissed her back.. Not only that but we went clubbing, n she came back to mine cuz she forgot her keys. I stupidly said stay down mines..n she ended up sleeping with me in my bed. I didn't do anything with her in my bed tho, but the next day I felt terrible and told my girlfriend straight away. She was heartbroken and didn't want to see me. It's been nearly 4 months n we've barely spoken..(we've both had exams tho) but I'm crazily in luv with her n miss her like crazy. I'm having the worst tine of my life n can barely be myself, I want to get her back but she's really emotional about most things so this is massive for her, plus I've done some smaller mistakes in the past that she still mentions so she's never gonna let me live this down... Sorry for rambling on but I don't know whether to leave it or pursue her. Thanks in advance, dj
ADF Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 If I were your GF, I wouldn't believe for a minute that nothing happened the night you and this woman shared a bed. Not for a minute. But even if I did, I would still think you had a terrible sense of boundaries. If you hadn't slept with another woman that night, I would think it was only a matter of time before you did. Sorry, but I think if your GF forgives you for this, you're going to have to consider it a gift. She is well within her rights to end it with you over this.
Author Djd Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Hey, thanks for your honest reply.. I admit what I did was extremely wrong and shallow, and I actually didn't do anything with her in my bed. But being apart from my gf has given me so much time to think about what I've done n how I was acting. She means the world to me n I hate myself everyday for doin what I did. That girl tried it with me again a couple weeks later n I flatly refused even though I was drunk, I just wish I did that the 1st time round. I'm actually really sorry for what I did and feel as though I actually have changed for the better. I'm not the player type of guy, n I can't imagne being with anyone else. Any ideas of how to approach the situation? I've had limited conversation with her but that's it.. Any help is appreciated..
carhill Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 So, you've being 'going out' with a girl from uni for a year and haven't had sex with her yet? No wonder your boundaries are low wrt accepting kisses and bed sharing from other young ladies. Presuming you're not a virgin, a year of intimacy without sex is nuts, and take that from someone who *was* a virgin into his 30's. Personally, I'd start over with a fresh slate and with all new people. Accept that the actions I took were wrong and erect healthier boundaries for the future, as well as honestly pursue a future love interest sexually as is proper and normal. Create that bond of intimacy, both physical and emotional, to assist in the enforcement of the boundaries of fidelity and exclusivity. Good luck
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