xRJ85x Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 In the last couple months of online dating, I've had about 5-6 girls that I've gotten numbers from. They laughed and had a lot to say in the first 5-6 emails we exchanged, and when I call them to set up a date, they sound really excited. Two bailed the day before or the day of the date, two said they'd love to meet up and that they'd get back to me. All four never followed up. The other two I left messages for and never got a return. Is this normal or am I just running into flakes?
OpenGL Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 95% of girls are flakes. It's just something you have to deal with.
Cracker Jack Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Nah, it isn't normal. You're just coming across the wrong women.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 You're finding the type of girls that like to flirt for fun. A lot of girls love attention and love to flirt, the flirting doesn't mean they are interested but it confirms they are attractive and sexy. They might give you their number, chat with you, even date you, but its nothing serious to them. However....yes girls can change their mind overnight, normally only if they aren't too sure about you in the first place. I mean, i've personally never changed my mind about someone i've REALLY liked.
marsle85 Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 I'm guilty of this, only because I am kinda of weirded out by online dating. I think it's legit, and know it's very successful- but for me it just CREEPS me out, I don't know why.
tami-chan Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Is it pretty common for women to change their mind overnight? ahmmm...no...of course not! wait....come to think of it...yes, I think it is! Seriously, I think it is one of those urban myths. Of course, it is not "common"-not with relationships, anyway.
carhill Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 It's pretty common for women to change their mind the next second. Get married and find out for yourself In your OP, they were excited about dating. You were irrelevant. Once you became relevant, the excitement faded. On to the next fantasy. Get numbers from a different kind of woman. Good luck
bac Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 IMO they do not know what they want. Perhaps, they ask you questions to get to know you, and your answers/reactions are getting worse and worse. So, girls decide not to deal with you because you are wrong for them.
carhill Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Classic: 'Just because I *said* I wanted it doesn't mean I *really* wanted it. Interchange 'you' with 'it' as appropriate.....
Author xRJ85x Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 So the basic problem is that all women are attention whores, yes? What upset me is that half these women initiated contact with me, and a couple actually asked me out! I originally thought I could weed out all the girls who don't care about getting into a relationship by jumping on a dating site, but I guess I should expect that its a feeding ground for attention whores? Am I supposed to keep wasting my time trying? IMO they do not know what they want. Perhaps, they ask you questions to get to know you, and your answers/reactions are getting worse and worse. So, girls decide not to deal with you because you are wrong for them. That's my point of confusion though. My answers kept getting better and better to them. They continued to contact me back and as I said above, asked me to take the next step.
stepka Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 So the basic problem is that all women are attention whores, yes? There is not one quality on earth that ALL women share and just b/c you've had a run of bad luck doesn't mean that you should dump on all women. That said, I think that a lot of women on dating sites may be attn whores, esp the younger ones, b/c they have more choices. I think that it would be best to keep it really light, and if she flakes, maybe give her another chance, b/c you have to remember that you haven't met her yet. If you do meet her and then she flakes, forget her. Also, maybe look for women who have more "keeper" type qualities rather than the flirty light stuff.
Author xRJ85x Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 (edited) There is not one quality on earth that ALL women share and just b/c you've had a run of bad luck doesn't mean that you should dump on all women. That said, I think that a lot of women on dating sites may be attn whores, esp the younger ones, b/c they have more choices. I think that it would be best to keep it really light, and if she flakes, maybe give her another chance, b/c you have to remember that you haven't met her yet. If you do meet her and then she flakes, forget her. Also, maybe look for women who have more "keeper" type qualities rather than the flirty light stuff. Yea, I didn't mean actually all even though I said it (it was more of an exaggeration). I do keep it light, I've gotten down "the technique" of gradually getting to know a girl online. The problem is that you eventually have to keep getting to know each other better. We gradually do this each email. Also, the flaking part comes between the two part you were saying: it's when I call her up and ask her out. Secondly, I don't flirt at all online, I've heard it's a big no no. I'll make her laugh by being funny as we get to know each other, so it comes across as "I'm a nice guy, not a creep" and "I'm funny and confident, not boring." Obviously it works because they keep coming back with more and more interest. So my point is that I have been going after the "keeper" types, or what appear to look like them. So you can see my concern... Edited May 31, 2010 by xRJ85x
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