Jump to content

i think i m already cheating

eva21

By eva21
in The Other Man / Woman

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

eva21 New Member

eva21

Posted
Posted

Hi all,

 

I'm a newbie. :)

 

I have been married for 2 1/2 years. Happy or not i'm not sure but my hubby is a really nice man.

 

sigh, where should i start? i met this really great guy online about 1 month ago and have been chatting with him consistently on msn chat.

 

We even met up twice when he came to Singapore in May. See at first, it was just some harmless chat but now it has become "real" as I have actually met him.

 

Though he doesn't stay here, he comes here for work pretty often. After the 2 dates, I think I'm seriously falling in love with him. Though nothing physical has happened yet, i seriously think i will sleep with him..OMG

 

I guess it's the physical attraction and his job i m attracted to..

 

he's coming again in july and i can't wait to see him again..

 

but he doesn't know that i'm married..sigh

jthorne Established Member

jthorne

Posted
Posted

You think you're in love with him, but haven't bothered to tell him you are married? That's not love, that's fantasy.

Please do this guy a favor and stop chatting with him. But I know you're not going to do that, so in the very least, tell him your marital status and let him decide on his own if he wants to continue.

lilagirl Established Member

lilagirl

Posted
Posted
You think you're in love with him, but haven't bothered to tell him you are married? That's not love, that's fantasy.

Please do this guy a favor and stop chatting with him. But I know you're not going to do that, so in the very least, tell him your marital status and let him decide on his own if he wants to continue.

 

I am with jthorne here... You need to consider doing a few things, the first being telling him your M. A relationship founded without this disclosure is going to be trouble, especially for him. He needs to know what he is getting himself into. Being an OM is not a fun place to put him in if strong feelings develop.

 

You are not in love with him, you are in love with the idea of him - IMO. You are still early enough in the R that you can turn back, and potentially stop allot of hurt. You will definately hurt allot more than you feel good right now... From the loss of your M, to heartbreak. I started with your pain, but please consider, that Online As are easiest to discover, so as soon as you H starts to put a finger on why you are acting different, he will easily be able to figure it out. So... Please consider that as well.

 

Good luck. if you decide to continue the A, always evaluate if it it worth it for you, and be true to you.

joey66 Established Member

joey66

Posted
Posted

If you think you are cheating, then your are. I'm not saying that's bad. If you are M and you have those kind of feelings for another man, then you are cheating, IMO. And I agree with the others that you have to tell the potential OM that you are M so that he can make an informed decision. Good luck to you.

 

An observation if I may. I suspect that if a MM had written the original post (specifically that he was beginning an R with a woman and he hadn't yet told her that he was M), he'd get flamed right away for being a liar and a jerk. So where's the outrage ladies?

bittersweet memories Established Member

bittersweet memories

Posted
Posted
You think you're in love with him, but haven't bothered to tell him you are married? That's not love, that's fantasy.

Please do this guy a favor and stop chatting with him. But I know you're not going to do that, so in the very least, tell him your marital status and let him decide on his own if he wants to continue.

 

 

Also do your husband a favor and divorce him if you want to live the single life? Yikes!:mad:

Lecturer Established Member

Lecturer

Posted
Posted

I never judge cheaters (I don't villainize it like some do), but pretending you're not married is pretty low. This poor guy is just trying to court you, and you are going to crush him for your own selfish interests.

 

Also.. how can someone be attracted to a job? That is the most bizarre thing I've read today. It is like being attracted to someone's car, or the university they went to, or the city they are from.

jthorne Established Member

jthorne

Posted
Posted
Also do your husband a favor and divorce him if you want to live the single life? Yikes!:mad:

No kidding. I think the OP thinks that since she hasn't actually slept with this guy, she's not cheating on her H. Yet if her H treated her this way, she might feel a lot differently.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

Posted
Posted
but he doesn't know that i'm married..sigh

 

You are playing with fire. You don't know this guy! What if he freaks out when he finds out you're married? Tells your H? Goes violent, hits you, or goes after your H? Never say never. Or the flipside, you are going to hurt this guy..He thinks there's potiental between you two, yet not telling him you're married? Imagine if your H did this behind your back, pretended he wasn't married/omitted the truth to another woman, allowed her to believe he was single and free.

 

This is a situation that's not good, for anybody!

 

Really think about what it is you're doing and what you want to accomplish.

 

And yes, you DO have a choice here. Noone is forcing you to cheat on your H, lead the OM on either.

 

Go read stories in this section, you want a rollercoaster ride? Then go read in the infidelity section so you can see what pain you'll be causing your H.

jthorne Established Member

jthorne

Posted
Posted

OP- What makes you so sure that your OM isn't married as well? I have a hard time believing you are IN LOVE with this man, when you don't even know each other's marital status. Chat is just chat. You have no real way of verifying anything he says to you (or you to him). This great job you're so attracted to? How do you know it's not a lie? This guy could be a serial killer for all you know.

 

Maybe you should consider something more worthwhile to do than msn chat with strangers.

Passion4Life Established Member

Passion4Life

Posted
Posted
Hi all,

 

I'm a newbie. :)

 

I have been married for 2 1/2 years. Happy or not i'm not sure but my hubby is a really nice man.

sigh, where should i start? i met this really great guy online about 1 month ago and have been chatting with him consistently on msn chat.

 

We even met up twice when he came to Singapore in May. See at first, it was just some harmless chat but now it has become "real" as I have actually met him.

 

Though he doesn't stay here, he comes here for work pretty often. After the 2 dates, I think I'm seriously falling in love with him. Though nothing physical has happened yet, i seriously think i will sleep with him..OMG

 

I guess it's the physical attraction and his job i m attracted to..

 

he's coming again in july and i can't wait to see him again..

 

but he doesn't know that i'm married..sigh

 

if your husband is a nice man dump him nicely , ie tell him the truth that you are seriously in love with your bf & your husband might let you go then you can continue with your bf .

 

best of luck

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...