Cracker Jack Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 I don't know anymore. Can't wait to read more responses on this.
Tony T Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 THE BOTTOM LINE, ABSOLUTE FACT, CASE SHUT ANSWER: Women who are sane and worth having do not ignore men just because they are average looking. As a matter of fact, it's a sign they have their act together if they don't. Every woman is initially attracted to a man SHE considers attractive, kind of obvious. Each has their own standards. What could be a HOTTIE to one woman could even be a REJECT to another. In general, most women find the same tall, handsome, slender men appealing. Once they meet them and get to know them, within a very short time they decide whether they REALLY like them and may want to date them on a longer basis. An average man CAN HAVE ANY WOMAN HE WANTS if he finds a way she can get to know him and find out he has the lasting qualities she is looking for. In other words, an average looking man can be far more appealing to a woman who is looking for a man who is intelligent, kind, athletic, family oriented, etc. The key for the average man is to find out what attracts the woman after the initial physical reaction and accentuate those traits, if he has them. Younger women will most likely put up with a lot of crap to be with a hunk. However, once she's past the diaper stage and wants to get serious about a relationship she will go for an average or below man any day of the week if he's got the personal, spiritual, intellectual and other qualities she admires. (Over time, an average looking man will seem much better looking to a woman if he's got most of the qualities she admires in a man.) That's why you see a lot of ugly men with beautiful women. They know how the system works and they're never discouraged.
Pyro Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 THE BOTTOM LINE, ABSOLUTE FACT, CASE SHUT ANSWER: Every woman is initially attracted to a man she considers attractive, kind of obvious. Each has their own standards. In general, most women find the same tall, handsome, slender men appealing. Once they meet them and get to know them, within a very short time they decide whether they REALLY like them and may want to date them on a longer basis. An average man CAN HAVE ANY WOMAN HE WANTS if he finds a way she can get to know him and find out he has the lasting qualities she is looking for. In other words, an average looking man can be far more appealing to a woman who is looking for a man who is intelligent, kind, athletic, family oriented, etc. The key for the average man is to find out what attracts the woman after the initial physical reaction and accentuate those traits, if he has them. Younger women will most likely put up with a lot of crap to be with a hunk. However, once she's past the diaper stage and wants to get serious about a relationship she will go for an average or below man any day of the week if he's got the personal, spiritual, intellectual and other qualities she admires. (Over time, an average looking man will seem much better looking to a woman if he's got most of the qualities she admires in a man.) That's why you see a lot of ugly men with beautiful women. They know how the system works and they're never discouraged. Its unfortunate that the OP will find a way to disagree with this.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Hmmm....actually I think average men and women are the most common type to be in relationships. Really hot people tend to be out playing the field and less attractive people tend to not be getting much attention. Average i.e normal tend to be the ones in relationships, they are always the 'safer' option. In saying that....physically I don't go for average. Its not because i'm arrogant or that I think i'm amazing, but my physical type is something I never find. I find it really hard to get sexually attracted to people and looks are very important to me - i'll never lie about that. In a friendship or anything else, looks are irrelevant. But in a partner, you are judging INITIALLY by a combination of looks, body language and in the air chemistry. I don't think anyone seeks out average, however chemistry can transform an average person into the 1 you are mad about and looks are so subjective. Who I considered hot, you could say was average. Who you considered hot, I could say was average. I don't think many people think their partners look average to them.
crimsonmike Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 I'm no better than average looking for sure, and women don't ignore me. How you carry yourself has more to do with it IMO. Generally, women are much less concerned about appearence than men in my experience. That said, if you dress like a slob, you will be ignored.
Dragon1 Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Most average men can get attention from women. The average men that can't are the ones who miss social cues. I'll go so far as to say that a man who has a good income, looks, house, car, etc. that can't read social cues from women can go through very long periods without so much as a date no matter how hard they try. Most men have enough ability to read social cues to get by. The average man who only will only date hot women may go lonely too unless he has a lot to offer in other areas.
Toki Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 I'm pretty darn handsome in my opinion, whether that's true or not is debatable depending on which female you're talking to, any 'average' guy can be good looking to the right female if they carry themselves with pride, dignity, and respect, intellect, and sense of humor goes a long way too. The same goes for women, I know a few girls who weren't as physically attractive as say one of their friends, but the way they talked, and carried themselves made them win out over their boring friends.
GoodOnPaper Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Yes, they are. Discuss. I agree but that's just the natural state of being when dating isn't going well for the average guy -- he doesn't have options. When dating isn't going well for the average woman (a la the companion thread), she probably still has options, she just doesn't like any of them. Hmmm....actually I think average men and women are the most common type to be in relationships. Really hot people tend to be out playing the field and less attractive people tend to not be getting much attention. Average i.e normal tend to be the ones in relationships, they are always the 'safer' option. So for "average" people, does (or should) being in a relationship make up for not being "hot"? Or is it a consolation in which we're all just settling for each other?
Dragon1 Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 That's why you see a lot of ugly men with beautiful women. They know how the system works and they're never discouraged. It cuts both ways. If an average man does not get how the system works, he won't get more than a date or two with an unemployed, unattractive woman. One of my buddies is average to above average, but doesn't get how the dating system works. He's had very little success. Some of my average looking buddies who do know how the system works have relationships with hot women.
Toki Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 The very fact that you say there's a system to dating makes me cringe. I don't want to be with anyone who thinks there's certain protocol you have to follow in order to be with someone attractive, and if that's true I don't want anything to do with it. Relationships should be organic, if it's only because they're "hot" the relationship is utterly doomed. Otherwise you're right, I've bedded a few attractive girls, who were probably way out of my league, and I know how the system works, because you catch them in positions of vulnerability.
somedude81 Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Here's an interesting read of what women are really into. http://uvtblog.com/2009/02/the-womans-real-scale-of-1-10/ Average guys can still get girls, but they need to try really hard and put themselves out there.
Pacman Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Trust me, once you find the right woman. You will no longer be average. In her eyes you will be extraordinary! That's all that matters right?
Rhythmic Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 That's why you see a lot of ugly men with beautiful women. I don't. In general. Unless there is a money component added in people around me generally pair up with somebody around their level of attractiveness. Something that has been backed up by research.
Rhythmic Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 To the OP. Average guys get average girls. If no girl is paying you any attention you are only going for above average girls. It is as simple as that. If you want to play that game go make yourself more attractive.
Nikki Sahagin Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I agree but that's just the natural state of being when dating isn't going well for the average guy -- he doesn't have options. When dating isn't going well for the average woman (a la the companion thread), she probably still has options, she just doesn't like any of them. So for "average" people, does (or should) being in a relationship make up for not being "hot"? Or is it a consolation in which we're all just settling for each other? Well I would say most 'average' people in relationships, aren't thought of as average by their partners. The average looking couple probably find each other hot. Its all subjective. I'm sure some people are aware that they are settling because they aren't as attractive as someone else, yes. A lot of people settle so that they aren't alone or for regular sex.
ADF Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Not the extent average women are ignored by men. I am a pretty average looking guy. I have dated a few women who were extremely attractive. I think, had I been a woman, no extremely attractive man would ever have given me a second glance.
Els Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Actually, I've revised my answer. Guys who are average in EVERYTHING - you know, the sort of guy whom you can't distinguish from 39428723423 others? Average looks, average intellect, average talents, average conversation skills, average personality... nothing special about him? Yeah, those guys probably get ignored. But girls like that get ignored too, so we're all square.
123BeachFan Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I think men are more shallow in terms of what their mate looks like, compared to women. Especially the case for women who are older than, say, late 20's. Hone in on your strong qualities (intelligence, sense of humor, certain interests, etc, whatever they may be) and sell those to the right woman.
donnamaybe Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Most average men can get attention from women. The average men that can't are the ones who miss social cues. BINGO!!!
Chicago_Guy Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 (edited) Most average men can get attention from women. The average men that can't are the ones who miss social cues. I'll go so far as to say that a man who has a good income, looks, house, car, etc. that can't read social cues from women can go through very long periods without so much as a date no matter how hard they try. Most men have enough ability to read social cues to get by. The average man who only will only date hot women may go lonely too unless he has a lot to offer in other areas. That makes perfect sense. Sometimes women will let men know they like them in a very subtle way, but men are often confused or don't pick up on what the woman is doing. Men would have much more success with women if they could pick up on the cues women give. Men have much better odds with women who have already done something to express their interest than they ever will by approaching random women in public. Unfortunately women are hard to read. Edited June 3, 2010 by Chicago_Guy
Author OpenGL Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 That makes perfect sense. Sometimes women will let men know they like them in a very subtle way, but men are often confused or don't pick up on what the woman is doing. Men would have much more success with women if they could pick up on the cues women give. Men have much better odds with women who have already done something to express their interest than they ever will by approaching random women in public. Unfortunately women are hard to read. The problem with that you are saying is that women don't send average men signals.
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