Looking for some solace after breaking up with my first love.

[bluebird25]

The day has finally arrived. He will be moving out tomorrow. We were together for 2 years. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, and I gave him my virginity. I had always wanted to be with one man my whole life, and now I will have to give up that belief system if I truly want to be happy.

 

There was a point when he made me happy, but too many issues came up that we haven't been happy for a while. While there were moments when we were happy, it wasn't enough anymore. It wasn't worth it anymore to stay together. While we both love each other deeply, we cannot be together.

 

I am confused. I am lost. I am so sad. I am angry. How is that possible? To still love someone, to still want to be with that person, but it's just not right to be together anymore?

 

I would like to hear some your stories and consolation. This is my first heartbreak, and I'm feeling a tornado of emotions right now. If anything can provide the clarity and peace that I am seeking right now, I would appreciate it.

[skydiveaddict]

Bluebird: I must confess that I'm puzzled by two people who love each other so much and cant make it work. When i came back from the war my gf dumped within two weeks. I dont know why things like this happen, I guess they just do. but please hang in there. You will find healing

[bluebird25]

Thank you for your words skydiveaddict. I am sorry to hear about your situation with your girlfriend, as well.

 

For the past year and a half, we have tried to make it work but to no avail. In fact, he was the one who decided it was best for the both of us to move on, while I wanted to try some more. Perhaps I only want to try some more because I am not strong enough to let go, so he has to do it instead. Either way, it is done and I have to respect his decision to break up.

 

A part of me is longing for the simplicity of having to look after myself and only myself from now on. And another part of me is still yearning for him, his company and his affection. We will be ending it on really good terms but now our relationship will not be the same anymore.

 

I don't even know if happiness will be attainable for a long while. I loved him deeply and even though I know it's the right thing to do, I wish I didn't have to let him go. If I can find some peace with this loss, it will be good enough. For now, at least. I just feel really unsettled and heartbroken right now.

[yume]

It's okay to feel the way you do. I feel the same about my ex whom I suppose I can appropriately title my second love after a lot of reflection. Loving this guy certainly does not feel the same as it did with my first love but it is definitely love. Every day is a struggle feeling the way I do, but for you... knowing that you guys tried to make it work and it didn't should be some consolation. Some things, as great as they used to be, can't always be fixed.

 

Don't forget about the coping forum where you can rant and cry as much as you want. We're all staying at the same heartbreak hotel.

[Ckyh]

Hi bluebird25,

 

iknow exactly how you are feeling. I was with my first bf when iwas 18. Then we broke up and got back together from 24-29. We split up around 6 months ago and it has only just dawned on me how much I miss his companionship even though our lastfewmonths together weren't great. We were snappy with one another and really started to irritate each other. (I wrote all about it on another thread...) >_<

 

even so, I still love andmiss him lots, but I knew we weren't for each other...we had many good times and memories and I kept thinking about all the sweet things we used to do together, how he used to remember our anniversary every month (even when I forgot!), how he mademe laugh by being silly (even in public). Lots of happy memories.

 

Nw that we have split, I have lost by bf/best friend who has been in my life for the past sixyears. He doesn't want to keep in contact which is one of the saddest things for me as I really do miss having him in my life. Anyhow, it was more my decision to end things and I know it ws the best decision for both of us...

 

I'm still having my ups and downs but talking to friends, family and posting/Reading threads on here is helping me move on slowly.

 

You will feel better over time and I know I will too. Chin up. We all need someone more compatible in our lives - even our first loves. Just do me one favour...when youdo find the next person. Please please please do not compare them with your ex. It's something I did in the past and it is awful...for the new guy and yourself!

 

Ckyh x

[bluebird25]

Thank you for all the wonderful comments.

 

Today he moved out and the place already doesn't feel the same. There were so many memories here. Our entire relationship pretty much began in this place.

 

I know this is going to be so hard. I shouldn't feel helpless, but that's what I'm feeling tonight. I feel like I lost this huge part of my life and what I wanted to build my life around.