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BS and OW

marilyn80

By marilyn80
in The Other Man / Woman

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bittersweet memories Established Member

bittersweet memories

Posted
Posted
You should be ashamed of yourself for treating a newcomer to LS like this. So what if she used the word "slut". Don't we all use harsh words sometimes when we are upset? I certainly do.

 

My exSO had several OW. One of them I considered a slut, because she went after anything in pants. She was a master manipulator. The others were women who fell in love with my SO. Them I understand, because they did what they did out of love.

 

 

hmmm...Jennie-Jennie..you are FULL of contradictions! You cry about people posting MM are cheaters, cowards and Liars etc etc but you are ok with OP calling the wife a slut. Get it straight! :rolleyes:

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

Posted
Posted
I have an odd situation to say the least. I am currently an OW. I was a BS. My xH of 9 years admitted he had an A for a year and a half with one of our friends. We used to hang out with 3 other couples most every weekend. None of us have kids. So once he told me he had an A, I left him. It hurt like the worst pain I've ever felt but I refused to deal with his bull****. To make a long story short, xH's xOW's H and I formed a closer bond because both our spouses betrayed us. He decided to work on his M. The problem is we became emotionally involved and then soon physically involved. I know. I know. So screwed up. So basically I'm having an A with the H of my H's xOW. So now I'm on the other side of the coin. My MM says he will never leave his wife although she had an A. He said that it allows him the freedom of cheating now. In other words, he can always say he's only doing what she did. I know that sounds immature but I am so in love with this man. I have actually accepted that I will be the OW with no hopes being his W. I can't see myself with anyone else. How did I get here?

 

Marilyn, I am sorry for the so called "welcome" you got here on LS. Yes, this is supposed to be a place for OW and OM to seek support. Unfortunately you have to sift through the replies and ignore those which are not helpful to you.

 

I too am the OW of a MM who is not likely to get a divorce. I ask myself continuously whether or not the pros outweigh the cons. So far they have, and as long as they do, I will stay and enjoy our relationship. The day the cons outweigh the pros I am gone.

 

It is troublesome to realize that you are in a relationship with a man who is likely to stay married. It is as if they have given out all the correct signals and yet they do not follow through. And by then you are emotionally hooked.

 

I spend a lot of time on LS because it helps me sort out my feelings. There are many posts here that are helpful, although a lot are only insulting. I do hope you will find a place where you can share your emotions with other OW, even if you do not feel like LS is the place for you.

 

In case you against all odds decide you like it here:

Welcome to LS!

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

Posted
Posted
I would tend to agree with you except that when it was pointed out to her that her behaviours in carrying on with her MM are no different from his W having OM she persists in calling the BS a slut. By her definition then anyone who is OW, or MW is a slut. Therefore she is calling me a slut, by definition. And that I will not abide. Period. Not from someone who is new or someone who has been here for ten years.

 

Name calling like that is unacceptable and the only reason I spoke up rather than report her was to give her the opportunity to retract her statement.

 

However, I will not further "treat her like this" I will just simply report her and perhaps then she will learn to post within the TOS.

 

She is not calling you a slut. You are not married. You do not change OM/MM every three weeks.

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

Posted
Posted
hmmm...Jennie-Jennie..you are FULL of contradictions! You cry about people posting MM are cheaters, cowards and Liars etc etc but you are ok with OP calling the wife a slut. Get it straight! :rolleyes:

 

You got a point there, Bitter! The OP is new, I think we should give her some slack. If she likes it here and stays, there will be time enough to straighten her out. Or at the least just simply point it out once and don't keep rubbing it in her face. She doesn't know whether LS is a safe place or not, and this is certainly not helping her feel so.

Fallen Angel Established Member

Fallen Angel

Posted
Posted (edited)
She is not calling you a slut. You are not married. You do not change OM/MM every three weeks.

 

Neither do we know that this BW does. She is not here to defend herself.

 

I will always stand up and speak out when I see injustice. What she said was uncalled for and as far as I understand is a TOS violation of the civility and respect rule.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
bentnotbroken Established Member

bentnotbroken

Posted
Posted
You should be ashamed of yourself for treating a newcomer to LS like this. So what if she used the word "slut". Don't we all use harsh words sometimes when we are upset? I certainly do.

 

My exSO had several OW. One of them I considered a slut, because she went after anything in pants. She was a master manipulator. The others were women who fell in love with my SO. Them I understand, because they did what they did out of love.

 

 

So report her like you do me instead of telling others how to treat her. You are about as consistent as meteor shower.

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

Posted
Posted
hmmm...Jennie-Jennie..you are FULL of contradictions! You cry about people posting MM are cheaters, cowards and Liars etc etc but you are ok with OP calling the wife a slut. Get it straight! :rolleyes:

 

There is a difference between calling your own MM a cheater and a liar, and calling someone else's that. That is what I generally object to.

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

Posted
Posted
So report her like you do me instead of telling others how to treat her. You are about as consistent as meteor shower.

 

Report her? Her? The OP? FA? You?

 

I choose between reporting posters insulting her and bringing the subject up for discussion. I decided the subject was worth discussing. I know Tony does not like us to both report and discuss, we need to choose.

bittersweet memories Established Member

bittersweet memories

Posted
Posted
You got a point there, Bitter! The OP is new, I think we should give her some slack. If she likes it here and stays, there will be time enough to straighten her out. Or at the least just simply point it out once and don't keep rubbing it in her face. She doesn't know whether LS is a safe place or not, and this is certainly not helping her feel so.

 

:laugh:haha..not bitter! Bittersweet Baby! :D I'm sure she browsed around before posting, like many of us did.

Fallen Angel Established Member

Fallen Angel

Posted
Posted
Report her? Her? The OP? FA? You?

 

I choose between reporting posters insulting her and bringing the subject up for discussion. I decided the subject was worth discussing. I know Tony does not like us to both report and discuss, we need to choose.

 

I tried to discuss it with her and she blew me off, and attempted to twist my words to say I was calling her a name that it was quite obvious I was not.

 

So Now I have reported it, which is why I am now done discussing it.

 

Have a happy Holiday everyone!

bittersweet memories Established Member

bittersweet memories

Posted
Posted
Report her? Her? The OP? FA? You?

 

I choose between reporting posters insulting her and bringing the subject up for discussion. I decided the subject was worth discussing. I know Tony does not like us to both report and discuss, we need to choose.

 

I agree reporting her or anyone is going to far..why not discuss it if possible and let them see the light.

 

Now I know who's been reporting me...:D

Fallen Angel Established Member

Fallen Angel

Posted
Posted
I agree reporting her or anyone is going to far..why not discuss it if possible and let them see the light.

 

Now I know who's been reporting me...:D

 

LOL.. IT WASN'T ME!!

 

I rarely report, however when I am reported I "discuss" the infraction with Tony so .. ahem... vehemently that he is sure to be sick of seeing my name in his inbox!! (I get reported a lot.) :mad::o

 

Which is why I chose to try to speak with her about it rather than report her. But My choosing to discuss it with her was apparently not good enough. I apparently was not discussing it correctly? :confused:

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

Posted
Posted
Neither do we know that this BW does. She is not here to defend herself.

 

I will always stand up and speak out when I see injustice. What she said was uncalled for and as far as I understand is a TOS violation of the civility and respect rule.

 

I have now reported it and we can let Tony decide.

 

As I said I understand pointing it out once, but rubbing it in and applauding that to a newcomer, that is just too much.

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

Posted
Posted
:laugh:haha..not bitter! Bittersweet Baby! :D I'm sure she browsed around before posting, like many of us did.

 

I was overwhelmed by the negative responses when I first posted on LS, even though I had browsed around a little before posting. I thought I would meet much more understanding than I did when posting on an OW/OM board. It almost made me stop posting on LS.

bentnotbroken Established Member

bentnotbroken

Posted
Posted
LOL.. IT WASN'T ME!!

 

I rarely report, however when I am reported I "discuss" the infraction with Tony so .. ahem... vehemently that he is sure to be sick of seeing my name in his inbox!! (I get reported a lot.) :mad::o

 

Which is why I chose to try to speak with her about it rather than report her. But My choosing to discuss it with her was apparently not good enough. I apparently was not discussing it correctly? :confused:

 

 

Join my club. :confused:

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

Posted
Posted
I tried to discuss it with her and she blew me off, and attempted to twist my words to say I was calling her a name that it was quite obvious I was not.

 

So Now I have reported it, which is why I am now done discussing it.

 

Have a happy Holiday everyone!

 

I also reacted to your post, FA. Perhaps it sounded more harsh than you meant it too?

Fallen Angel Established Member

Fallen Angel

Posted
Posted
As I said I understand pointing it out once, but rubbing it in and applauding that to a newcomer, that is just too much.

 

When it was pointed out to her.. this is how she responded.

 

UMMM.. so why does her being with someone else make her a sl^t, but not you for doing the exact same thing? :confused:

 

Perhaps people who live in glass houses should not throw stones at their neighbors glass house.. when you do that all you end up with is two f*cked up houses with big a$$ holes in them! :eek:

 

(And I am an OW and do not take kindly to ANYONE being called a sl^t. That is simply uncalled for!)

 

I say that because MM's W has a new man about every 3 weeks. If that's not a sl*t I'm not sure what is. I like the view from my glass house. I have only been with my xH and my MM. TYVM

 

She was rude and did not seem to care that what she had said was out of line and refused to stop her bad behaviour.

 

Nicer word that sl*t? :rolleyes: I don't take kindly to anyone being called *********

 

She then attempted to twist my words to claim I had called her a name.

 

I thought than an OW could post here without being called a name. What I call my MM's W is not a personal attack to anyone here. If I offended anyone by calling MM's W a slut then I apologize. She actually deserves worse names but I will refrain. :p I'm just upset right now. Cut me some slack.

 

Again, attempting to claim she was called a name. Also being blatanly sarcastic and rude with her "apology".

 

As I said, I attempted to discuss it with her rather than report it. She seems unconcerned with how anything she says affects anyone on this board, so why should I handle her with kid gloves when she obviously doesn't care how she treats anyone else on this board? :confused:

jennie-jennie Established Member

jennie-jennie

Posted
Posted
When it was pointed out to her.. this is how she responded.

 

 

 

 

 

She was rude and did not seem to care that what she had said was out of line and refused to stop her bad behaviour.

 

 

 

She then attempted to twist my words to claim I had called her a name.

 

 

 

Again, attempting to claim she was called a name. Also being blatanly sarcastic and rude with her "apology".

 

As I said, I attempted to discuss it with her rather than report it. She seems unconcerned with how anything she says affects anyone on this board, so why should I handle her with kid gloves when she obviously doesn't care how she treats anyone else on this board? :confused:

 

OK, I hear you, but she did apologize and I see nothing sarcastic with her apology. She asked us to cut her some slack. Instead posters continue rubbing it in, that is when I reacted. All against one. And the OP is apparently not posting anymore. She HAS apologized and her apology was not accepted.

bentnotbroken Established Member

bentnotbroken

Posted
Posted
OK, I hear you, but she did apologize and I see nothing sarcastic with her apology. She asked us to cut her some slack. Instead posters continue rubbing it in, that is when I reacted. All against one. And the OP is apparently not posting anymore. She HAS apologized and her apology was not accepted.

 

 

Why would you assume that because you see nothing sarcastic, no one else does. She got cut all the slack she cut her MM's wife.

Tony Established Member

Tony

Posted
  • Senior Moderators
Posted

Regrettably, this thread has degenerated into a slugfest and that's not serving the OP well. I do hope the OP got something out of this and I apologize for the random rudeness.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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