paddington bear Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 OP so you've got to the point of chatting women up, why not also have a backup plan of what to say/do if it all goes wrong? Right now, sounds like you are focusing on getting up the courage to talk with women and haven't planned beyond that. So, you've got that far, now imagine a few scenarios in your head beyond that point - what to do/say if you find yourself choking and fumbling over your words and getting nervous and likewise if things go well. That way, you have rehearsed a cool and confident get-out if things don't go well and you can walk away with your head held high. I went through a phase of approaching men (since none were approaching me), so I understand how utterly nerve-wracking it is. This was usually in a bar, and I was always with a friend. So, I'd go up to some lone guy who was either waiting for someone or obviously on his own and say something like 'Are you waiting for someone? You are more than welcome to come join us until they arrive'. 99% of the time they did join...if the person they were waiting for was a girlfriend they either said no, or still sat and chatted til she arrived. My point is, there was no 'I want to get your number, I am on a MISSION' about it, it was a friendly gesture as opposed to a desperate one (and yeah, some guys were like 'NO' and looked at me weirdly). Sometimes I'd do this on behalf of a female friend who'd spotted some guy she liked but was too shy to approach. In any case, it did build up some kind of confidence and also a shrug of the shoulders attitude if I was rejected. So, keep trying (I stopped as men often say they like when women approach them, but actually, in reality they don't - think somewhere inside it ruins the thrill of the chase for them). And just go for who you think is hot instead of going for the less hot one to get to the hot one - I've had some very gorgeous female friends in my time and they were ignored by men, because the guys always thought that they would already have someone, or that they'd be instantly shot down - not all of them get hit on by men constantly...but maybe that is different in the States. And finally, sometimes it's sweet when guys get nervous and fumble over their words, it means you know they like you, which gives you a warm feeling inside - but beware of approaching more than one woman, pack mentality takes over and they can get nasty, acting like they think they are supposed to act in front of their friend, whereas a lone woman might be more open and less sniggering of your attempt to strike up conversation.
Jerry18 Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Dear OP: Please stop wasting your time approaching attractive women in public. The women you approach are judging you based on your appearance. Your witty? Who cares? Funny? Go be a stand up comedian. The girl is judging you by your muscle mass, height, and degree of handsomeness. You can't change your height, or your face (assumsing plactic surgery is not an option). You can, however, increase your muscle mass and definition. Make weight lifting your new hobby. The girls who were snickering at you should make you angry. Use that anger as motivation for lifting heavy wieghts on a regular basis. Weight lifting is your best option, and will probably change your life. After you have gained as much muscle mass as you can, go around town and show off. Are girls looking? Call up your friends and throw a party. Talk to the girls at the party. Now you have a fighting chance. The reason you piss yourself while talking to attractive girls is because they don't find you attractive. They are making things hard on you in order to get rid of you. If these same girls found you attractive, then talking to them would be a breeze. They would make it easy for you. Want proof? Pick a '10', any girl you like, and watch how she behaves around a guy she finds attractive. The guy isn't doing anything special. Just sitting/standing there and grunting right? Bingo. He doesn't feel any pressure, because she isn't putting pressure on him. Why? Compare his muscle mass and height to your muscle mass and height. It's usually that simple. Sure 1 in 1,000 attractive girls might go for the guy who isn't big and built, but do you want to play those odds? She might choose income as the deciding factor. Thoughts to avoid: #1) I can win her over by being witty/funny/clever. Go lift weights. #2) If I approach x number of attractive women, then I'm bound to attract at least 1. Nope. Go lift. #3) Attractive women with options are not shallow about how guys look. Don't be silly. Are you rich? #4) Girls who point and laugh at me want me to come over and hit on them. Dear god... #5) Women will tell me the truth about what I should do to get an attractive girl. I'd rather you try to hit on the snickering girls, than listen to women about dating. Say this to yourself every day: "Curls get girls. Attractive girls have sex with muscular men. I need to lift weights today." Go around town without muscle and attractive women will treat you like a beggar. Get ripped and the same girls will treat you like a prince. And if not, then at least you'll have their respect. What income do I need to compensate for average muscle mass?
USMCHokie Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 What income do I need to compensate for average muscle mass? There is no amount of income that will compensate for the boost in self-confidence, health, and overall wellness that you get from increased physical fitness. True story: Last weekend, I was in downtown DC standing outside a bar and chatting with my roommate. Then suddenly, this random girl walked up to me and literally started feeling me up and asking what I did to stay in shape. Although it was awkward at first, we chatted for a little while, had a drink, and I got her number. Unless you constantly flaunt your cash all the time, stupid stuff like that won't really ever happen...I'm kinda surprised it did...but my roommate/wingman told me all night that women do check you out if you're in shape...of course I was totally oblivious to it...and kind of in denial...
Cracker Jack Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 ^Couldn't have said it better. I wouldn't want a connection with a woman based on the income I make. It...just seems pointless and dumb.
USMCHokie Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Go around town without muscle and attractive women will treat you like a beggar. Get ripped and the same girls will treat you like a prince. And if not, then at least you'll have their respect. As sad and preposterous as this sounds...I must admit...FTW...
Els Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 ^Couldn't have said it better. I wouldn't want a connection with a woman based on the income I make. It...just seems pointless and dumb. So.. a connection based on muscle mass is cool but a connection based on income is pointless and dumb? I have never ceased to be wowed by the sheer silliness of this sentiment. Either you believe that love is something that you feel for a person as a person, especially what lies within him/her... or you believe that interest can be gained solely through superficialities. Supporting one superficiality while dissing another just sounds dumb to me.
Cracker Jack Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 So.. a connection based on muscle mass is cool but a connection based on income is pointless and dumb? Wait, what? I was agreeing with USM in regards to income not promoting overall health and self-esteem to the extent of what working out and getting into shape would promote--since it adds more confidence, and we know how important that trait is based on how often its cited in general. Guess I gotta quoting certain parts now. Considering I was just going on about how my height isn't appealing, or appears to be for women--I would not promote connection based on muscle mass, as that wouldn't make sense. If anything, I promote a connection on a positive mental/physical approach above all. I have never ceased to be wowed by the sheer silliness of this sentiment. Either you believe that love is something that you feel for a person as a person, especially what lies within him/her... or you believe that interest can be gained solely through superficialities. Supporting one superficiality while dissing another just sounds dumb to me.Read above. Next time I'll know to quote certain parts in order to avoid this kind of response.
USMCHokie Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 So.. a connection based on muscle mass is cool but a connection based on income is pointless and dumb? I have never ceased to be wowed by the sheer silliness of this sentiment. Either you believe that love is something that you feel for a person as a person, especially what lies within him/her... or you believe that interest can be gained solely through superficialities. Supporting one superficiality while dissing another just sounds dumb to me. I agree that connections based on superficial traits or qualities are suspect, at best, but a connection is still a connection...it's up to each individual to judge how much they'll value such connections... And I agree...silliness...
Els Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Wait, what? I was agreeing with USM in regards to income not promoting overall health and self-esteem to the extent of what working out and getting into shape would promote--since it adds more confidence, and we know how important that trait is based on how often its cited in general. Guess I gotta quoting certain parts now. Considering I was just going on about how my height isn't appealing, or appears to be for women--I would not promote connection based on muscle mass, as that wouldn't make sense. If anything, I promote a connection on a positive mental/physical approach above all. Read above. Next time I'll know to quote certain parts in order to avoid this kind of response. Right, sorry. The conversation just seemed to be about muscle mass, and as USMC's post was agreeing with the post about muscle mass... I agree that connections based on superficial traits or qualities are suspect, at best, but a connection is still a connection...it's up to each individual to judge how much they'll value such connections... And I agree...silliness... Definitely it's up to the individual. What I find silly is people who disparage others who choose partners based on certain superficial traits, while they themselves swear on other superficial traits.
Cracker Jack Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Right, sorry. The conversation just seemed to be about muscle mass, and as USMC's post was agreeing with the post about muscle mass... No need to apologize. Just slight confusion. I didn't help matters, either. Silly me. And I agree with your points.
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