mr heartbroken Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Hey, It's been just over a year since my ex split with me and I still miss her and think about her all the time. I often want to txt her and see how's she's doing. I think to myself that she hasn't made contact because she doesn't want to stir things up again. I know thy last bit most likely isn't true. Non of my closest friends know how much I still muss her. One of my friends that knows more than most even txt me the other day to say thatshe seen my ex! She was with some "munter" ( incase you don't know that's an ugly person) this was to try and make me feel better. My friend also said if it helps any you are better looking. I told her no it doesn't sometimes it's not always about looks. I don't really know what I can do to get over her! I miss her more than I can put into words! The thing that I keep telling myself is the person that I fell in love with is dead! She isn't the person that I wanted to spend tge rest of my life with! aaaarrrggghhhhh
This Hurts Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 The thing that I keep telling myself is the person that I fell in love with is dead! She isn't the person that I wanted to spend tge rest of my life with! I know this feeling very well. I, too, sometimes feel like she's dead. A good amount of the time, actually. And on several occasions lately I've had the temptation of contacting her just to say, "You're a stranger to me now." because it feels so true. Isn't it weird? How one minute you know each other so well, and love each other so much, and the next you're distant, awkward acquaintances. This is something that deeply saddens me if I think about it too much. Shake the thought, shake the thought!
northstar1 Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Totally natural what you are experiencing. It takes a long time for feelings to totally subside. And the more they become a stranger, sometimes the stronger the urge is to each out and try and stop that gap from widening, to know they still might think about you. It's knowing that they are becoming a fleeting memory from your past. And I get the part about not seeming real. I can think back to the good times we shared, trips etc, and then I can't relate that girl to the one near the end of our relationship. She was like a pod person at the end, a copy of my ex, but not the one I remember. Each day that goes by, it feels like she's more and more a figment of my imagination, not someone real Stay strong, don't break NC. You've come a long way, no sense in putting all that hard work to waste
skydiveaddict Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Hang in there dude. It will get better w/time. I know how you feel
Author mr heartbroken Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 I know this feeling very well. I, too, sometimes feel like she's dead. A good amount of the time, actually. And on several occasions lately I've had the temptation of contacting her just to say, "You're a stranger to me now." because it feels so true. Isn't it weird? How one minute you know each other so well, and love each other so much, and the next you're distant, awkward acquaintances. This is something that deeply saddens me if I think about it too much. Shake the thought, shake the thought! It's weird to think of her as a stranger but that's what she is now. Her mother got incontact the other week to wish me happy brithday. She said it was great hearing from me again. I met up with a couple if friends of Her's ( they were kinda mine also) they were taking about her. They were saying somethings that weren't very nice. How much she has changed how much she isn't the person that we all knew. I wonder how and when she changed. I never in a million years thought that we would be awkward acquaintances. Like you it saddens me to think of her being someone I no longer know! When ever we did something funny we would always say that one to tell the grankids..... Like you said a stranger that I will most likely never know again.
Author mr heartbroken Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 Totally natural what you are experiencing. It takes a long time for feelings to totally subside. And the more they become a stranger, sometimes the stronger the urge is to each out and try and stop that gap from widening, to know they still might think about you. It's knowing that they are becoming a fleeting memory from your past. And I get the part about not seeming real. I can think back to the good times we shared, trips etc, and then I can't relate that girl to the one near the end of our relationship. She was like a pod person at the end, a copy of my ex, but not the one I remember. Each day that goes by, it feels like she's more and more a figment of my imagination, not someone real Stay strong, don't break NC. You've come a long way, no sense in putting all that hard work to waste It is a struggle to not brake contact. The main reason that I don't is why do it when you might not like what will be said! Until I can speak to her in a level where all I want is her friendship I can't speak to her! I know it's normal to still kinda have her on myind sometimes but I feel I should have moved on by this point. I should be seeing someone I should be dating! I kinda am dating but it's just to try and distract me:(
Author mr heartbroken Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 Hang in there dude. It will get better w/time. I know how you feel I am most likely being soft by wanting to contact her! I know she isn't the person I feel in love with. I will no make contact with her as the last time we spoke I left the ball in her court!
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Its so true that they become strangers. I think in break-ups, a lot of problems come to light for us. For me, one was my sense of a connection with other people. My ex was and remains the strongest connection to another human being I have ever experienced. One thing I found so difficult was to accept that this 'profound' connection we had, the passion and intensity of it, couldn't last. That it has gone now. That if we met again, we would be strangers, as you say awkward. That for me is a hard thing to accept because that was the most i've ever felt for anyone, not just in terms of love or sex, but as a friend, as in genuinely caring for a person. You do feel the gap between you and it really is weird. One of the most surreal experiences of your life, but if they want to bring you back, they can...and they would. Otherwise you have to let yourself both sail away in opposite directions. Its a melancholy thing, easy to obsess over, but its true that we have to let it go.
Recommended Posts