JRJ Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 (edited) For starters, I'm no angel. I will also leave open the possibility that I am fooling myself and am either appealing to guilt or loneliness. My ex and I broke it off like 4 months ago after 3 years of being in a relationship. We were as close as family. Due to bickering and me treating her badly (cheating, being verbally abusive, etc.) we couldn't do it anymore. I was stressed beyond belief based on my own insecurities and took them out on her. Well, I kept talking to the girl I cheated with as well as my ex after the break-up, but the fling that I'd had with the side chick didn't last and was broken off like 2 months after the break up. Well, I tried to hint at me and my ex trying again, but she was too confused to ever be consistent in her thoughts. Well, we were still seeing each other and having sex from time to time. We just had our last encounter like 2 weeks ago and she said she missed me and loved me still. Yet, I call her up just 12 days later and she's going on about a new boy friend how she's moved on and we shouldn't talk. I convinced her that we should be friends and asked how she can do a total 180 out of no where like that and she said she still loved me a lot but didn't want to mess things up with this new guy so we can talk but not hang out. My thing is, I want her back before things get serious with this new guy. I don't want to read any "just move on" replies either because if I wanted to, I will. I'm not some desperate loser, I just want my true love back after making the biggest mistake of my life. I'm bummed out, but I'm pretty calm and clearheaded about this, I just need a strategy to get her attention back on me. Any suggestions? I know that I may have to wait out the honeymoon period, or the period when she sees no flaws in this new guy. The next time I see her, I want to blow her away and bring all of our old feelings back. How to steal her back? Initially, I just want her attention back and to start a fresh attraction and I'll slowly work from there. What works with women? New dress, hair cuts, gym, being more active, happy and friendly? Edited May 30, 2010 by JRJ
ADF Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 You need to leave this poor woman alone. You admit to verbally abusing her and cheating on her. Then, to make it worse, you bust her down to FWB after the break up just because you can. Now that she has found a new relationship, a new chance to be happy, you want to ruin it for her so you can get back into her pants. Sorry, guy, but you paint a pretty vivid picture of yourself as a nasty, scheming, abusive, selfish, amoral jerk. Christ, haven't you drawn enough of her blood already? Get out of her life.
Author JRJ Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 ^Something told me to keep this question to myself. It's not like the girl isn't completely anonymous or that I actually am who you say I am because you know me so well. I was just looking for general advice but apparently this forum is home to a few creepy crawling judgmental weirdos who like to spam and attack people instead of giving a mature take on the situation. If I could delete the thread I would, I kind of changed my mind and don't need any advice anyway.
ADF Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 ^Something told me to keep this question to myself. It's not like the girl isn't completely anonymous or that I actually am who you say I am because you know me so well. I was just looking for general advice but apparently this forum is home to a few creepy crawling judgmental weirdos who like to spam and attack people instead of giving a mature take on the situation. If I could delete the thread I would, I kind of changed my mind and don't need any advice anyway. LOL--how can you say I am being judgemental? Look back and reread what you wrote. You make yourself sound horrible! Don't blame it on me. You're the one who wrote it. I don't know why people bother asking for honest opinions when they don't really want them. If you just want support and praises, if you only want feedback from people who are going to take your side, don't ask for honesty.
rcrljmg07 Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 the best thing you can do is let it play out it sounds awful and it is but if she wants you back you will know, you brought it upon yourself and even though that may be you can't go the friend route even though u messed up. let her know that what you did won't happen again and you will give it your all other than that you can't make her be with you. its not as easy to find a good relationship so if you had a good relationship she will remember the good things more than the bad just take a step back and let her take a step towards you, but dont get emotional. women are confusing !!
sugarmomma Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 If your overall character hasn't changed, the relationship will be the same. You have to be a different person if you want a different outcome. What have you done to work on/change your abusive, cheating etc. ways? Sounds like you have a lot of character building to do.
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