polka_dot_pixie Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Hey, I'm going to apologise now for this will be long and I'll try keep it simple, I need advice desperately though so please help. Basically I'm 23 and my 22 year old boyfriend has now taken to ignoring me. But we've had a troubled and complex past, we were best friends for almost 2 years, he had liked me from meeting me but I was in a relationship. Eventually that fizzled out and I realised I had fallen for my friend hard, years of seeing each other nearly every day and talking on msn all night every night had made us so close, we were so similar and I always refered to him as the male version of me. We started seeing each other last year, it was intense and wonderful, but I've long known him to be plagued with problems...especially with alcohol, and commitment, I had never known him to be in a relationship longer than a few months, except for a 4 year one he had where he was cheated on over and over that occured before I knew him. But after 3 months with me, I told him I was falling in love and he bolted, after so much magic between us he just left saying he needed to be single and clear his head. I took on the usual break up role of no contact but he wouldn't let me. He'd contact me every few weeks, either accusing me of wanting it over anyways or drunk and pouring his heart out about how he couldn't get close to people and he was doomed to live his life with alcohol. 6 months of him asking to meet but not coming through, and various other dramas, he finally admitted he was still in love with me. We talked things out, he admitted his problems with alcohol, with himself, and how he regretted ending it in the first place but was too scared to try and ask me if i wanted to sort it out. We got back together, and it was even more amazing, he was so open with me, he'd say he loved me at every moment he could and how he wanted to be with me forever. He apologised for his behaviour last year to the point of tears, and we were the epitome of a happy, completely in love couple. Now, 5 months later it's turned extremely sour, my brother was diagnosed with cancer, which is what my Dad died from as well 7 years ago, I lost it, I fell apart, and I took it out on my bf. I attacked him constantly, accused him of all sorts, I'd apologise and try to explain it wasn't him it was everything else that was making me so terrified to lose him, that I was almost causing it to happen. He tried his hardest with me, he had important exams coming up (he's a Law student) and he said he couldn't handle me being how I was. But I just seemed to dig deeper for myself, a day without txts and I'd lose it saying he was ignoring me and why didn't he just break up with me. He'd started drinking a bit again after a few months sober and I told him he wasn't doing anything to stop, which he took badly as he said it was so hard. Finally it was like he snapped, with me, the exams he was worried about, I found out he'd spent time drinking instead of revising, he came online wasted (these 5 months we've been long distance as we're at university), and said awful nasty things to me that he didn't love me or want me, and made inappropriate comments about women in general. I didn't speak to him for 2 days after til I txted him about it, he acted as though it didn't happen and told me to have that argument with myself instead. That was 2 weeks ago, I've not heard anything since, I've tried messaging and calling, I've tried giving him space (I manage about 5 days before i try calling again), but now I'm getting desperate. I'm meant to be going to his summer ball in less than a week, he paid for my ticket, and I bought my train tickets and when I've msged him if he still wants me to go and to let me know if not so I can get a refund, he won't reply. I don't know what's happened. I know I was awful but I thought I had a reasonable excuse and I tried to apologise and explain so much. What am i meant to do? I know everyone says if he hasn't contacted it's over, but I've seen him end with girls before, and obviously had it happen before, and he usually doesn't just do this, he at least tells them somehow it's over. He hasn't changed his facebook status (which I know is bad when you're judging your relationship on that!) but it's just so confusing. He has many issues with alcohol, depression, even sometimes showing symptoms of multiple personality, but atm i just can't fathom what to do, especially about this weekend. Sorry this is so long and i've still missed chunks out, but any help at all would be so appreciated, I know I have to think what's best for me and all that but I just am so stubborn to not give up, in theory we should be a perfect couple, but something keeps us from it and it's driving me mad! Thanks for any advice, I've posted this twice due to uncertainity where it should be so apologies if in wrong section.
Recommended Posts