Layla24 Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 (edited) HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLP! My BF has just ended things between us saying he does not feel the same anymore. That you shouldnt be in a relationship if you have 1% doubt. I was in a relationship for 4 years and was very hurt when that ended. I feel as though I never put 100% into my current one because I was scared of getting depressiong and getting hurt again. I know I shouldnt have been that way but I was just trying to protect myself, its gotten to a point that I have pushed him so far away and hurt him that he will not reconsider a 2nd chance. Background story:- We are both travelling and met a year ago, we started off as friends as I wasnt ready for a relationship. He basically chased me for 6 months before he decided to return home. Once he was gone, I realised just how much I wanted to be with him and he flew back over to be with me. We have been living together ever since. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship but his visa is running out soon. That is when everything started to take a downwards turn. We had spoken about it and decided that I would stay and complete my visa and we would sort things out once I was home too. We were making travel plans together and although things were tense and a little awkward at home I never thought it would come to this. Last week I said I thought we should talk as I knew it was heading this way and thats when he ended things. Said he didnt love me anymore and is leaving for Europe in 2 weeks. I am heartbroken and disappointed. I have said everything possible, that I would commit to returning home with him and show him more love in the relationship etc which I should have but was trying to protect myself knowing he was going home soon. (He also says that I never gave him the security that he needed and also brings things up from when were just friends). I told him he cannot hold that against me as we werent together then and I havent done anything wrong in our relationship. When I look at him, I know he doesnt look at me the same and I can see he is being positive about moving on and that there is no future for us. Please give me some advice on how to handle the situation? Do I get over him or keep trying? Will he rethink the situation when he is travelling alone? Edited May 30, 2010 by Layla24
polka_dot_pixie Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I always think if a person states clearly they no longer want to be in the relationship, that the other one has to respect that. Whether or not he will come around later isn't the issue, for whatever reason he has been honest and said he no longer feels the same and the only option you have is to respect that and leave him to it. During his time alone he may rethink what he's done, but you can't wait around for that, it's harsh, I know. But you said you felt it was headed that way anyway so something in his behaviour had changed, if when you were with him you noticed that the magic between you had gone, then it probably had. Just play it cool, I'd send one last email to him stating exactly how you feel, don't beg or plead, be adult and lay your cards on the table, and tell him if this is what he really wants, then you need to step out of his life whilst you heal. He should respect this if he's broken up for the right reasons. Then do it, take the time to heal, don't contact him, and who knows what'll happen in the future.
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