Older men dating younger women

[MrNate]

Oh were those suposed to be questions? When you say stuff like ... what do you do once she turns 30 kick her to the side... it sounds more like insults disguised as questions.

 

Women who put down men who date younger women for that reason alone are "men hating." It doesn't make me a woman hater to point that out lol.

 

Exactly man! This is exactly how she responds to me All. The. Time.

 

 

You are 100% on when you mention her responses carrying insults with them, then she wonders why people get snappy, or just plain ignore her when she takes their comments the wrong way. It's mentally taxing at times.

[Chicago_Guy]

I don't think that a 10 year age difference is creepy at all. I am 34 and would date woman probably as young as mid-20s. I personally think that it would be very creepy for me to date a teenager, but a mid-20s woman is definitely an adult.

 

For me personally dating a younger woman would not be about controlling an innocent person; instead, I find that I get more attention from younger women than I do from women my own age. I also just don't meet that many single women in their 30s, so that rules out dating women my own age. The ones I do meet seem to have a lot of baggage. I have also found that there are many mid-30s women in my city who seemingly have an obsession with hanging out and getting drunk at bars several times a week, which is just not my scene at all.

Edited June 1, 2010 by Chicago_Guy

[marsle85]

Seriously if you are a 40 year old man and you meet some 19 or 20 year old girl and you really hit it off… I find it so funny that a bunch of WOMEN need to come

in and call it creepy… even to go so far as calling a person a pedophile…

 

hmm that makes no sense considering when you think about a hot older woman you say… wow she is in her forties but looks as good as any girl in her twenties… please all women want to look young. Its jealousy… and MAN HATING at its best.

 

 

I don't think it should be generalized as pedophilic, though unfortunately that is undoubtedly the motivator (among other factors) in some cases. It's possible an emotional and physical connection has taken root, but any individual with common sense would acknowledge it's much less probable than a relationship with participants of similar age. Considering this, it's important to look at the factors influencing the relationship: most likely a benefit for either party. Whether it is the benefit of sleeping with a younger, more fit woman- or enjoying the pleasures of a significant other who has an economically fit life.

 

Either way, sure- if both people are enjoying themselves, why not? And you will have those who look down on such a relationship, who you called "man haters," but you also have women being called "gold diggers". In either case the man is appreciative of her youth, and the woman is appreciative of his wealth. Both superficial.

 

If you're supportive of a man dating a woman for her youth, you should be equally supportive of a woman dating a man for his wealth.

[Chicago_Guy]

This may have been addressed previously, but I think that part of the reason why women are so adamant against these type of relationships is because they think that the men should settle for women their own age. Many women in their mid-late 30s or older are either not married or have good female friends who aren't married. It is tough for women like that especially if they want to get married because a large percentage of the men who are the same age don't want to marry them. If those women want to get married they will have to open themselves to dating less attractive men and/or much older men than themselves even if they don't find those men attractive and it pisses them off.

 

This is sort of a battle of the sexes and the women think to themselves, "why are these men my age so insecure or unwilling to settle down?" Many of the men, on the other hand, think to themselves, "women my age didn't want me when I was younger, so why should I settle for one now that I am older and have more options?" Some men also think to themselves, "this woman is no longer in her prime and yet now she claims to love me and want to marry me. How do I know she isn't settling for me despite wanting someone else simply because she has fewer options than when she was younger?"

[Shakz]

When I was 38 I became involved with a young woman of 18. We lived together for two years. Our relationship was volatile and sexually driven. I don't think either of us believed it would last long. We constantly fought. She would accuse me of trying to control her and I would accuse her of being childish. I would berate her and withhold privileges, she would throw things at me and hit me with heavy objects. We finally exhausted each other and declared peace. She moved out and we actually ended up friends. I still keep in contact with her through occasional e-mail and X-mas & birthday cards. She's married now and has two little ones. As crazy as it was I wouldn't trade a single memory of our time together for a million dollars. Call me "creepy."

[JohnP82]

This may have been addressed previously, but I think that part of the reason why women are so adamant against these type of relationships is because they think that the men should settle for women their own age. Many women in their mid-late 30s or older are either not married or have good female friends who aren't married. It is tough for women like that especially if they want to get married because a large percentage of the men who are the same age don't want to marry them. If those women want to get married they will have to open themselves to dating less attractive men and/or much older men than themselves even if they don't find those men attractive and it pisses them off.

 

This is sort of a battle of the sexes and the women think to themselves, "why are these men my age so insecure or unwilling to settle down?" Many of the men, on the other hand, think to themselves, "women my age didn't want me when I was younger, so why should I settle for one now that I am older and have more options?" Some men also think to themselves, "this woman is no longer in her prime and yet now she claims to love me and want to marry me. How do I know she isn't settling for me despite wanting someone else simply because she has fewer options than when she was younger?"

 

I agree with this

[Jersey Shortie]

Green:

Oh were those suposed to be questions?

 

Let me show you. From my previous posting:

 

Green, what is it that you want women to learn? That some men consider us expendable based on our age?

 

Can you answer this? What do you want women to learn? This is not a hard question yet you are hell bent on ignoring it. Because it seems to me whether the woman is 20 or 40, were all screwed if what men consider the best things about us and our worth is in our age.

 

So I ask again, what do you want women to learn? Beause what I am learning from some of the men here is that men want to continue to be masculine and important to the world through the years. And I don't blame men for that! I HOPE that a man is confident enough in himself and his life that he feels that he only gets better with age. I hope that through the years he finds love, respect and companionship. But what living person on this earth wants to be told their value as a human being, as man or woman, is considered less then the other? Which seems to be what alot of men are saying here. That a man's worth to a man holds more value then a woman's worth does.

 

 

 

Green:

When you say stuff like ... what do you do once she turns 30 kick her to the side... it sounds more like insults disguised as questions.

 

 

Where exactly is the insult? When a woman turns 30, do you kick her to the side? A resonable question and not difficult to answer. Do you spend the rest of your days with her pining for her younger counterparts?

 

You are the one that made a point to say that your girlfriend is in her mid-20s but looks younger. You sound proud of that. I could be wrong so please say so if that's the case. Wht happens when she no longer looks like she is in her early 20s?

 

What happens when your girlfriend is 30? 35? 40? Do you consider a woman's worth less then a man's as she ages? A yes or no answer will suffice. These are reasonable and direct questions. No woman wants to be sitting with the man he loves while he smirks, and licks his lips to the 23 year old girl in the same room.

 

You continue to make comments about the worth of women based on their age. And you continue to make coments about the worth of men based on there age. You think women decline with age and that men get better. Then you try to attempt to tell women that they are man-hating because they don't particularly find a relationship between a teen girl and a 30+ man as something that's healthy. Or that women should be okay and happy to hear men tell them they are are less worthwhile every day they get older. You take great offensive to a woman's opinion on an older man/younger woman relationship but have continuely told women where you think their worth lies. Yet, you as a man would NEVER want to be told you were less valuable or masculine because of your age. No man here wants to hold less importance as a man because he got older. Yet, some of you take glee in putting women into that slot.

 

By the way, while you continue on telling women they are "man-hating" for their view, what about the men that don't agree with that kind of arangement either? There is another thread in the "marriage" section that a woman asks about men and a teen fantasty. Alot of men chimed in and said they weren't interested and valued women their own age. Do they also hate men?

[Yamaha]

Alot of men who have trouble dating in their teens and teenties are told, " when you get older ( 30's and up ) then women will be looking for a guy like you to settle down with and grow old". They reach this age and start thinking about the things that come with a dating experienced women ( exes, kids, etc ) and they decide to try again for the younger women that passed them up when they were that age.

[Jersey Shortie]

Yeah Yamaha, we've heard that justification before. Seems to me that these type of men have a self pittying, screw women, attitude. They don't recongnize women as people who have gone through their own hurts through the years. All they want to admit to is their own hurts. These type of women don't see women as people.

[Yamaha]

Yeah Yamaha, we've heard that justification before. Seems to me that these type of men have a self pittying, screw women, attitude. They don't recongnize women as people who have gone through their own hurts through the years. All they want to admit to is their own hurts. These type of women don't see women as people.

 

Your probably right about the man's attitude towards women.

People are a mess. The whole world needs to be on the pro's couch.

Just keeping it real....

[janie423]

This may have been addressed previously, but I think that part of the reason why women are so adamant against these type of relationships is because they think that the men should settle for women their own age. Many women in their mid-late 30s or older are either not married or have good female friends who aren't married. It is tough for women like that especially if they want to get married because a large percentage of the men who are the same age don't want to marry them. If those women want to get married they will have to open themselves to dating less attractive men and/or much older men than themselves even if they don't find those men attractive and it pisses them off.

 

This is sort of a battle of the sexes and the women think to themselves, "why are these men my age so insecure or unwilling to settle down?" Many of the men, on the other hand, think to themselves, "women my age didn't want me when I was younger, so why should I settle for one now that I am older and have more options?" Some men also think to themselves, "this woman is no longer in her prime and yet now she claims to love me and want to marry me. How do I know she isn't settling for me despite wanting someone else simply because she has fewer options than when she was younger?"

 

Hold on Chicago Guy. Now let's explore what you said here. You're saying that if a 20 year old woman gets with a guy in his 30's it's not settling, but if a woman in her 30's gets with an older guy, it's settling? Yikes! How do you know that girl in her twenties isn't settling for you?

 

Also, where did you get the idea that an older man has more options than a younger man?

Edited June 1, 2010 by janie423

[Chicago_Guy]

Hold on Chicago Guy. Now let's explore what you said here. You're saying that if a 20 year old woman gets with a guy in his 30's it's not settling, but if a woman in her 30's gets with an older guy, it's settling? Yikes!

 

Also, where did you get the idea that an older man has more options than a younger man?

 

What I am saying is that a lot of women in their 30s only want men their age or slightly younger and they themselves would view ending up with man in his late 40s or 50s as settling. This is my own observation so I don't have any studies to back this up. But I can tell you that I do know many professional women who think this way. I hear gossip from one of my friends who is married to a woman who has single friends in their late 30s/early 40s - the only men they seem to get are divorced men 10-15 years older who don't want any more kids and that is not what these women really want.

 

In my previous post I was also referring to women in their mid-20s who end up with guys 10 years older. A lot of women in their mid-20s think that established men in their 30s who have stayed in shape are are successful are very attractive. Generally speaking, a man in his 30s does have more options than a man in his 20s. Once the men hit their late 30s or 40s, their options do shrink and I don't deny that.

 

A 20-year old woman probably is settling or has some issues if she ends up in a serious relationship with a guy close to or older than 40.

[Woggle]

Alot of men who have trouble dating in their teens and teenties are told, " when you get older ( 30's and up ) then women will be looking for a guy like you to settle down with and grow old". They reach this age and start thinking about the things that come with a dating experienced women ( exes, kids, etc ) and they decide to try again for the younger women that passed them up when they were that age.

 

Very true. Men who were nice guys who got rejected in their younger years in many cases are out to get back at women once their become desirable. It's not right but that is what it is. Also many women in their early 30s have loads and loads of baggage that most men do not want to deal with.

[Chicago_Guy]

Hold on Chicago Guy. Now let's explore what you said here. You're saying that if a 20 year old woman gets with a guy in his 30's it's not settling, but if a woman in her 30's gets with an older guy, it's settling? Yikes! How do you know that girl in her twenties isn't settling for you?

 

Also, where did you get the idea that an older man has more options than a younger man?

 

I saw you edited your post. If I go for a woman in her 20s, it is usually because she has done something to let me know she finds me attractive. If a woman seems to be mature and chases after me to a certain extent, I don't think that she views being with me as "settling," but I suppose I could be wrong.

[Feelin Frisky]

Older men, not 40 but 50 and even 60 have an attraction to many young women. If they are handsome and not a blimp or a skeleton, they can be very masculine and carry an air of sophistication. They can also be very wealthy. There is also this "father figure" thing but that's a book. Check out the Dos Equixx commercial where the old dude is surrounded by young babes. He goes"stay thirsty my friends". Now if he sold pretzels off a stick on a corner, he would be probably thought of as creepy. But if he has a Ferrari parked outside and spreads money like nothing on bottles of Crystal or snifters of Remy XO, then he's an intrigue. I don't seriously if a man like that would value any young woman of 18-23 for anything but a fling after which he'll give her a nice payoff and shown the door. I mean WTF is there to talk about?

 

 

Some girls can call it all creepy. But it is not pedophilia. It is statutory rape if in the 14 going on 20 clique and pedophilia if it is predatory behavior to hunt prepubescent girls or boys and buggering them up.

 

Hugh Hefner never seemed creepy to me. He just looked creepy.

[Green]

Jersey Shortie all I said was I have no problem with Older men dating younger women. If you choose to be threatned and creeped out by that please know that it has no effect on me. and yes Jersey Shortie you have hatred for men if you think that just because a man is older and dates a younger women he is automaticaly WRONG

[Chicago_Guy]

I have also talked to women who divorced and they some of them actually say that they never loved their husband. Essentially these women didn't chase after the men who married them at all, but sat back and made the man do all the chasing and then eventually got sick of them years after getting married. In their own minds they believe that they settled by getting married to these men in the first place. This is precisely why I prefer women who chase after me at least a little bit, although this is a story for another day.

[janie423]

I have also talked to women who divorced and they some of them actually say that they never loved their husband. Essentially these women didn't chase after the men who married them at all, but sat back and made the man do all the chasing and then eventually got sick of them years after getting married. In their own minds they believe that they settled by getting married to these men in the first place. This is precisely why I prefer women who chase after me at least a little bit, although this is a story for another day.

 

 

I await your thread!

 

you make good points . . .

[BS76]

Older men date younger women all the time. I personally see the potential problems with dating young women like the 18-23 range… but damn they are hot. My gf is in her mid twenties but she looks hot and as if she could be in her early twenties.

 

Seriously if you are a 40 year old man and you meet some 19 or 20 year old girl and you really hit it off… I find it so funny that a bunch of WOMEN need to come

in and call it creepy… even to go so far as calling a person a pedophile…

 

hmm that makes no sense considering when you think about a hot older woman you say… wow she is in her forties but looks as good as any girl in her twenties… please all women want to look young. Its jealousy… and MAN HATING at its best.

 

He's only seen as "creepy" if they don't find him attractive. Nobody is going to say George Clooney is "creepy" for dating a 20something model. "Creepy" in the context of this thread, is normally just a female word to shame guys they don't approve of.

[Woggle]

I have also talked to women who divorced and they some of them actually say that they never loved their husband. Essentially these women didn't chase after the men who married them at all, but sat back and made the man do all the chasing and then eventually got sick of them years after getting married. In their own minds they believe that they settled by getting married to these men in the first place. This is precisely why I prefer women who chase after me at least a little bit, although this is a story for another day.

 

Very true. If a woman wants commitment she should have to earn it. If she wants it that bad she will.

[Pink Cupcakes]

I'm 42 and recently slept with a 58 year old man just to see what it was like. He takes care of himself and admittedly the sex was awesome.

I feel badly now since now he is really smitten and wants a serious relationship...somehow I don't see that as something I want though, there is something in me that is hesitating, even though I'm attracted to him.

[DadofTwoGirls]

Would any guy in here have a problem with a 47 yr old man dating someone who just turned 21?..and she is FINE!!!!

[BS76]

I have also talked to women who divorced and they some of them actually say that they never loved their husband. Essentially these women didn't chase after the men who married them at all, but sat back and made the man do all the chasing and then eventually got sick of them years after getting married. In their own minds they believe that they settled by getting married to these men in the first place. This is precisely why I prefer women who chase after me at least a little bit, although this is a story for another day.

 

Or they're simply rationalizing why they decided to split up with the man. Women are notorious for dropping a guy like a bad habit and not looking back on it with any fondness or compassion whatsoever. Guys are simply not as capable of being so callous in this regard. The reason is because women are orders of magnitude better at rationalizing their feelings (either for or against) whereas guys are more likely to get hung up in this regard. Women FEEL first and then fabricate thoughts to explain the feelings later. If you can turn her on, or a woman moves on for another guy, she will make things up in her head that sound like REASONS why she likes or dumped you. Half the stuff she says or thinks about a past or future guy probably isn't true except in her head.

[brainygirl]

Or they're simply rationalizing why they decided to split up with the man. Women are notorious for dropping a guy like a bad habit and not looking back on it with any fondness or compassion whatsoever. Guys are simply not as capable of being so callous in this regard. The reason is because women are orders of magnitude better at rationalizing their feelings (either for or against) whereas guys are more likely to get hung up in this regard. Women FEEL first and then fabricate thoughts to explain the feelings later. If you can turn her on, or a woman moves on for another guy, she will make things up in her head that sound like REASONS why she likes or dumped you. Half the stuff she says or thinks about a past or future guy probably isn't true except in her head.

 

Wow, do I feel sorry for any woman you date or marry.

 

FYI, women feel sad when relationships end. Even when their the ones who ended them.

[Woggle]

Wow, do I feel sorry for any woman you date or marry.

 

FYI, women feel sad when relationships end. Even when their the ones who ended them.

 

What exactly is wrong about what he said? Can you deny that many women do act like that?