shadowplay Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 (edited) My ex (who heartlessly dumped me) volunteered the following things to me repeatedly in the weeks after we broke up: 1) I will always be in love with you. 2) I miss you so much. 3) I love you so, so much. And yet, whenever I asked if this meant he might possibly consider ever giving us a chance, he refused. Has anyone else had an ex feed them this kind of bullsh$t? I think at this point it just amuses me more than anything. Edited May 30, 2010 by shadowplay
Kamille Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Yes, the first guy to ever break my heart fed me a bunch of bs, namely, my favorite: 1) now is not a good time for us, but maybe later (which, being broken hearted for the first time, I didn't see for the backburner bs that it was. Instead, it gave me hope that he would come around). 2) of course I love you but I need to see what's out there. The guy ended up dating another girl and cheated on her repeatedly - even after they had a kid together. Was also the kind of father where, at first, she had to "ask him to babysit". It made me realize sometimes not getting what I want is a blessing.
Steadfast Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I was wondering whether or not to post what's happening with me. Seems kind of boring and non-productive, but this thread offers a place to vent. Long story capsulized; wife/mother of 16 years finally fell off the wagon (she had acted unhappy from time to time, throughout our marriage...like she was doing me some kind of favor and I wasn't repaying it properly). She cheated with a younger co-worker, confessed, then went on a maddening cycle of not wanting to completely give up on the marriage, or her freedom. She removed her wedding ring, then -at my insistence- moved to 'figure things out'. "It's only temporary" she said. "It's not you, it's me". I doubted that. When it was clear that she was entertaining the company of other men (plural) I filed, redirected my life and divorced her. That was two years ago. Please understand that I considered this woman the true love of my life; not only is she extremely attractive, but I cared very much for her. Over the years my love deepened and I tried to show that. I was faithful and it wasn't difficult. I considered myself lucky to have her love. I adored her. Now with a steady ladyfriend and with one live-in child with one more year of HS to finish, I have moved on. Letting her go was without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever done. Now, she is angry and envious. She does not want me mixing my life (kids, etc) with my gf and has -to my shock- texted, wrote, hinted and exclaimed face to face that she loves me, thinks about me constantly and tells me there is no one else like me. When I press for info regarding her motivation, she draws back again. In the end, it is clear that she just wants me around when she wants me. It's as simple as that. She is entitled, spoiled, used to controlling men (while being sexually attracted to those who control her) and does not include reason or common sense to her thought process. It's all feel. But it isn't love, and that, if possible, is what I'd like to have. I am a different man than I was before this...and I'm not sure if cynical is an attribute that women find attractive. I will demand and receive respect however, for my time and trouble, and can still return it when earned. So, I shun her self-imposed role as a victim and reject her drama. The hardest part is dealing with her new 'personality'. She was so grounded and intuitive before, but I can only control me. That's the lesson here.
Art_Critic Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 It made me realize sometimes not getting what I want is a blessing. Good words... SP.. this is why NC is almost always a good thing after a breakup.. it stops the BS
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 My ex told me ENDLESS things such as: I miss you, I love you, i'm confused, i'll always have feelings for you, I love you but i'm so confused, i'll never know if I made the right choice, i'm still jealous over you, I still think of you, I want to contact you lots but have to stop myself. I'll never know if it was b/s or from the heart. But actions speak louder than words and he has gone. Either way, hearing those words, really made things so much harder. I wish if he didn't love me, he could have been honest. Maybe he was, I don't know. All I know is, if he was being honest, his head and heart is a very confusing place to be. Its unfortunate he transferred his confusion to me.
mickleb Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Actions speak louder than words. Them leaving you should tell you something pretty significant. x
Ilovecake Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 Yup, every ex has said stuff like that after the breakup. Some were missing me, some will love me forever, and some really need me in their life but "not like that". None of them ever said anything beneficial or meaningful enough to make me want to take them back.
random122 Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 IDK guys, as someone who has said some of these things (i never dropped the love-bomb, in our out of the relationship) and meant it...it really depends. i broke up w/ my ex-girlfriend over something i never imagined would be an issue in a relationship, and to be honest, i still love her. she had the same responses some of you have had when i texted that i missed her or told her that i wanted to be with her though. just food for thought.
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