Cealabeala Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 (edited) Before you read this can I just explain that its long, rambling and makes no sense, least of all to me. I'm nineteen. I've had one "relationship" before when I was seventeen, it lasted about six months. I was madly in love with him. It ended messily, his mother had cancer and he was trying to cope by doing way too many drugs. I kept trying to be there for him but he was totally distant because he wasn't able to deal with it all, and then his mother died and I found out he had cheated on me, it was just a really horrible experience. I was heartbroken and it took me almost a year to get over it. Before and after him I only had very casual flings. I seem to attract either "players" (who I always fell for and ended up getting hurt) or guys who were scarily way too into me way too soon and ended up freaking me out. I was really hurt by one of the "player" types who i really liked and then I was single for about four months after that, which I hated. I felt really lonely. Which is when I decided to sleep with my ex, who afterwards made it very clear that it was a one time thing. And though it was not good to hear that, I kind of realised at that point that I was over him. And literally a WEEK after this, I started to really like one of my guy friends, M. We have loads in common and really get each other, and we're in a relationship now and its been about five months. I know he really loves me. But I'm just worried that what I feel for him is more because of my loneliness than love. I had doubts at the beginning of the relationship about whether I even liked him in a romantic way but now I feel like I might be so dependent on him that I'm in denial about how I really feel and the whole thing is a farce. He recently went on holidays and I didn't see him for two weeks. During the first few days I was really sad and missed him loads but after that I felt fine and didn't miss him at all. Yet when he came back and I saw him again I didn't want to let him go and it felt so right. But when he says things like "I love you" or "You make me so happy" or he's just sitting there staring at me with a soppy expression on his face, I feel like a fraud. I find it hard to say these kind of things to him. And he wants to talk to me every day and I just don't feel the need to do that with him. Sometimes I feel like I love him so much. And I've had so much experience of the wrong type of guy that I'm aware that he's an absolute catch because he genuinely loves me and cares about me and has treated all him ex girlfriends with respect and never cheated. I care about him too which is why I'm worried, I hate the thought of hurting him. I just don't have that same crazy passion for him that I had for my ex. I think thats whats worrying me. And the timing, a week after I slept with him and got rejected. Do you think i was looking for a distraction/ comfort? And was it normal that I didn't miss him while he was away? What do you think...? Thanks for reading Edited May 30, 2010 by Cealabeala
Serenitynow Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 You're a typical female. You are attracted to the guys that treat you like ****, and when a nice guy comes along that cares about you, then your attraction to him dissolves. I guarantee M could be substituted for any guy on the planet, as long as he treats you nice, and with respect, you will lose interest after awhile. M has nothing to do with the situation. You have the same disease most women have, you run from guys that care about you.
crimsonmike Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 You're a typical female. You are attracted to the guys that treat you like ****, and when a nice guy comes along that cares about you, then your attraction to him dissolves. I guarantee M could be substituted for any guy on the planet, as long as he treats you nice, and with respect, you will lose interest after awhile. M has nothing to do with the situation. You have the same disease most women have, you run from guys that care about you. Honestly, I hate to go along with a bitter post like this, cause I'm generally a happy person. However, there is a lot of truth to this post. Women are always more into me if I a.) ignore them, b.) treat them like crap. Bad thing is, I only ignore and treat the ones like crap I'm not interested in. I think you need to decide if you enjoy being treated like trash, or being treated the way you should be. If it's the later, maybe you should try to make it work?
Serenitynow Posted June 1, 2010 Posted June 1, 2010 I hate to go along with a bitter post like this LOL its hilarious how the majority calls my posts "bitter" That reply to her is not bitter, its upfront, and brutally honest. Everyone knows that its honest. But since people are generally not honest with each other, they side step it and label it as bitter. Or should we all just sugar coat our responses, because god forbid if anyone tells her like it is. At least crimsonmike had the balls to step out from the crowd and agree that its true
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