Entitled Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Hello, I just need some advice and opinions to help my friend out, she's really depressed, and just really hating herself right now. Here's the story... She started dating this guy about three weeks ago, he used her and left her. She told me she was really happy with him and such, and that things were starting to turn around in her life. I am really a close friend of hers, maybe the only one, she doesn't have that many friends. She's very scared and emotional, very shy girl. Anyways... She tells me she can't talk to her family because she doesn't want them to judge her and doesn't want her mom changing. She's gone through a lot in her life, up's and downs. Today was her grad and she was really hating herself and very upset because she didn't have an actual date. She feels as if no one cares about her and that she won't ever be happy. I have spent countless hours talking to her over msgs, the phone, even taken her out. Just to try and cheer her up. It isn't working... She is seeing a counsellor at school right now. Her mother wants her to go see a doctor as well. I just want advice as to how I, myself can try to cheer her up and to show her that people do in fact care for her and I just really want her to see that I'm there for her. Thanks LS
Ronni_W Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 I have spent countless hours talking to her over msgs, the phone, even taken her out. Just to try and cheer her up. It isn't working... I just want advice as to how I, myself can try to cheer her up and to show her that people do in fact care for her and I just really want her to see that I'm there for her. Hugs, Entitled. You are doing everything that a friend can possibly do -- and I admire you for that, and for your obvious caring and loyalty to your friend. But you are not a professionally trained mental-emotional healthcare practitioner. And that necessarily means that there are limits as to what you can do. (On top of the fact that you have your own life to live and your own, tasks, duties and responsibilities to yourself and perhaps also others.) From how you're describing things, it sounds as if the very best thing you can do is to keep encouraging your friend to get professional help. You could offer to accompany her to the doctor's, and then to the first few sessions with the therapist or counselor that her doctor refers her to. Her doctor will be in the best position to assess whether she needs to see someone other than, or in addition to, the school counselor. Please do not take on this burden as your own. You are not responsible for the mental-emotional health of others, and it's not your job in life to try to make sure that everybody is "cheered up." You can support people to cheer up themselves...but only when they are actively involved in doing that for themselves, and making dedicated efforts to get whatever professional help they need, when they need it. Hugs, and best of luck.
Recommended Posts